chapter 4

Not that I really planned anything else a part from that. I wasn't going to start a diet. That would have been admitting Eva was actually right. Same about going for a run or some cardio. No. I was just letting two months pass. Eva was great, I have to confess. She understood my embarrassment, and was very respectful of it. I guess she thought I was a bit annoyed at her. She stopped teasing me about my appetite or soft bits. She was even filling less my plate. I remember having pasta the night after that episode, the portion she gave me was definitely small compared to my recent standards, and I finished it easily. The pot was still on the table. I could see the hesitation on Eva's face as she didn’t know what to do. Eventually she cautiously asked "was that enough?" I could have said yes actually, but it felt like an admission of being on a diet. "I can have a bit more" I said instead, trying to sound unperturbed. The same went on the following nights till it slowly became our new routine. Instead of piling my dish with a big portion straightaway, she was just serving me a normal one, waiting for me to finish it before asking if I wanted more. Instead of coming to bed with a slice of cake, she was appearing at the door of our bedroom and kindly asking "would you like some little sweetie thing before bed?".
It was nearly a rhetorical question, I was always going to say yes anyhow. My eating habits didn't change much, after all. If anything, since I was the one technically asking for more, I found that her refills were particularly generous.
I wasn't mad at her. That would have been silly. I knew it was not her fault if my suit was not fitting me as well as it used to. I was just embarrassed and didn't know how to act. I was feeling a bit bad for her actually. She clearly felt partly responsible and was doing her best not to upset me. She wasn't teasing me, she wasn't touching me.. It felt a bit awkward that we got so cold around the all thing. I didn't know how to reverse the situation though.
I guessed that by saying always yes to a second helping I was still showing Eva my appreciation. And I was doing a lot of it. I definitely don't remember going to bed hungry in those two months. Still, once in bed, I was invariably having my "little sweetie thing" nonetheless. Also that was smaller than before. I mean, it could have been a regular slice of cake instead of a big one, or two cookies instead of 3. Again, I was often given the option of a top up. One night she took my plate away after I had my two biscuits and she said shyly "they were not my best, isn't it?" I reassured her they were just fantastic to me. "Oh really you think they were good? Well, there is more in case you'd like another one.." I really wanted to end that awkward "cold" period, I wanted her to know I was not upset or anything, I was missing my playful girlfriend. "Of course I'd like another one honey, you're definitely my favourite chef". I was happy to see her leaving with a smile. And coming back with the same smile as she handled me a dish with two more cookies "I was going to give you only one, but just because you said they are fantastic..".
That night was followed by a nice, intense, quick "activity" session. It felt great, quite liberating, after nearly a month without sex. Definitely a sign we were relaxing again.

One day I came back from work and she asked if my colleague Jim liked her muffin. Sometimes she would have given me something extra to share with my colleagues. And she was happy to hear they were appreciating her treats too. That time I had to tell her that Jim was actually on leave. "Where is the second muffin I gave you then?" She asked while putting my lunch box in the dish washer. "Well, I had one in the morning and.. made my way through the second one in the afternoon.." She put both her hands on her sides and let a big sigh out "but honey.. You are supposed to fit into your suit in two weeks!" She said with a scolding tone. I was taken aback but then I realised she was probably joking so I felt relieved and joked back "Well sweetie, I don't think one muffin will make a big difference" I said while approaching her to give her a hug. She was still in that akimbo position pretending to be annoyed at me and resisting my hug "well, to start with you had two muffins, and.." "and?" Asked I a bit concerned. "And there is more in the oven for tonight.. You will not have any space left for them!" She said with a pout. "Oh I see, well I'll do my best to make some space then". "Yes, you better do" She said, finally giving in to my hug and letting me kiss her on her lips. Those muffins followed a nice dinner, and sex followed those delicious muffins. I really needed the activity, I had a lot to digest that night. She still had a smile on her lips when she was nearly asleep "Honey, I hate to say this but you should really try your suit again one of this days.." I sighed "Yes, I'll do it.. night night sweetie" I kissed her on that smile.

The following Sunday morning we were laughing so much, it was even hard to speak. "Oh, I'm so sorry hon.. I really shouldn't laugh, I'm sorry.. it's just.. It's just a bit funny.." she managed to say. It was indeed. Very funny for her. More embarrassing for me but I could see the funny side. I was in front of a mirror anyhow, I could definitely see it. I was trying my suit again and I asked Eva to look somewhere else while I was buttoning the trousers. She asked a couple of times "are you not done yet?" But I told her to wait.. I was struggling. More than two months before. It was a bit depressing.. I had to suck it in. Suck it in! I never had anything to suck in before. And I had to do it quite hard to get the button done. I managed, I was still holding the breath, I turned to the mirror to see how much the damaged was, then I turned to Eva and told her I was ready. I felt a dull noise, and Eva looked at me surprised and said "it's not done". "Yes it is" I replied unsure, why was she saying that "oh no, shit.. it flew!". "What flew" asked Eva even more perplexed. "The button". Then she burst into laughter as she understood what had happened, and I followed, mainly out of embarrassment. "I think we go shopping today" I said coyly. "Yeah, I'd say we do!" replied her with the tone of somebody who just showed she was right since the beginning.