chapter 2

2.
From the passenger's seat of Baker’s car I read a sign saying, ‘Pride X Epsilon Alpha Tau!” drawn in neon paint nailed to the balcony of the party house I was driven up to. Holding my shirt down, and doing my best to ignore the jiggles each step sent through my gut and ass, we stepped inside. I shuffled through the doors, grabbed a drink, and found the least embarrassing position possible. Baker, the only connection between the rowing team, Epsilon Alpha Tau, and myself, told me he was going to mingle before finding me again. I desperately wanted to ask him to find Noka but I cringed as the words reached my tongue. Waving Baker off, I sank into the corner, quickly drinking to try and get past the awkwardness.

It was a fun party all things considered. I kept low-key where I was, playing cards against humanity and drinking like a fish, not daring to look at Noka whenever he did walk by. I must have gone a little too hard on the jello shots, because the next thing I knew it was almost two in the morning. My roommate had never come back, that jerk, and I soon realized I’d need to either find a ride home or a spot to pass out on the couch. With bodies already piled up and the air stained with vomit I took a seat on the porch and held my spinning head, grateful for the bite of the January cold.

“I could walk…” I mumbled to myself, looking out to the shifting haze of flurries in the streetlights. I felt hot after leaving the party, even hotter with the weight I was coming to terms with. But the dorms were only a few miles away and I needed to cool off, so off into the blizzard I went.

What a stupid idea that was.

In my drunkenness I thought two miles would be nothing. Not only was it actually five miles, but even getting to two proved too tall a task for a recently chubbed up freshman. The roads were icy, the snow was heavy, requiring far more effort to stay upright with each step in zero-traction sneakers. To make it worse, I was really struggling with my weight. I just hadn’t done anything but sit the last few months. My ankles and knees ached. I was sweating through the cold. With every step I could feel my center of gravity shift alongside my paunch. One mile took twice as long as it used to, and after the second I felt alarmingly tired. I didn’t have money to call a ride, and everyone else was probably asleep. I was getting worried about passing out and freezing to death when I saw headlights behind me. I got to the side of the road and kept my head down.

‘Hopefully this guy doesn’t shower me with slush…’ I thought, but behind that I pleaded they would help. I expected the car to rush past, but instead I heard the engine idling next to me.

“Tolsty? Is that you under all that snow?”

I recognized the voice immediately. Noka Buta. Here. Next to me. Holy crap. And as my neurons snapped this information along my synapses, another realization sparked. All the walking alone made me careless with my clothes. For the first few blocks I steadfastly pulled my pants up and my shirt down, but I had stopped caring when worry had set in. My bulbous ass inevitably forced down my yoga pants and underwear, displaying my crack for all who drove past. Hand slapping the cold flesh behind me, I knew there was no way Noka hadn’t seen. To make things worse my belly was hanging out past the shirt that had ridden up, a roll of icy flab circling my middle like a skin-colored hula hoop. I gave a half hearted tug to both, but being encased in ice and snow the clothes were drenched, sticking to my soft flesh like glue. Noka only laughed.

“I cannot believe you tried walking silly boy, you are mad. Get in, I will drive you.”

His voice, like smooth velvet, entranced me. I would have gone into just about anyone's car at that point, but it felt like a dream sliding into Noka’s pickup. The amount I had drank, nevermind the exertion of the last two miles, hit me all at once. I felt myself fading into the heat that cascaded over me like a down comforter.

“Do you want to get any food?” was the last thing I heard Noka say before I drifted into sleep.