Chapter 1 - My Introduction

“So, Jim tells me you used to be really fat.”

That was my introduction to Cal, the new husband of my old fraternity brother Jim, who’d recently come out of the closet after leaving his wife of twenty-some years. Tactful guy I thought, but Jim was an old friend so I figured I’d humor his new hubby.

“Yeah, my doctor put me on Mounjaro, and I’ve dropped like 70 pounds.”

“You look great, Jim chimed in, “so skinny!”

“But you’re still a big boy,” Cal said in a kinda playful way, “what are ya, maybe 250? I only ask because that’s what my ex before Jim weighed and you look a lot like him — you’re both big handsome guys.”

Jim was glaring at him by then but I was more amused than insulted, and admitted, “you got a good eye Cal, I weighed in at 251 before I left home.”

“Wow, so you were around 320 before? You must’ve looked phenomenal at that size! We’ve got friends who’d definitely hit on you now, but they’d go absolutely crazy over you plus an extra 70 pounds, I mean you’d have ‘em lined up around the block, wouldn’t he Jim?”

Jim had a look of utter embarrassment on his face, but still managed a smile and I couldn’t resist goading my old friend a bit.

“So Jim, would your gay friends really be attracted to me if I packed those 70 pounds back on? Or maybe added fifty or a hundred more on top?”

As soon as I said it, I’d have sworn I spotted an erection under Cal’s skinny jeans! And Jim burst out laughing, before answering in a semi-serious tone, “well we do have a lot of friends who are chubby chasers …”

“Are you kidding Jim, I know at least a hundred guys who’d propose to Ted right on the spot if he went off the Mounjaro and porked up to over 400 pounds! Just imagine how sexy you’d be Ted, with a massive hanging belly and boobs as big as Jim’s ex-wife

Truly amused by then, I patted what was left of my once massive belly and replied “well boys, that would definitely be something to think about if (1) I wasn’t straight and (2) lived down here in Savannah, but I’ll pass on the temptation, at least for now.”

“What a shame” Cal exclaimed, “it would be so much fun fattening you back up and turning you loose at one of our extravaganza summer pool parties — guys would be pawing all over you …”

“Forgive my husband,” Jim interjected, “he wants to turn every even slightly chubby guy into a quarter ton mountain of lard! That used to be his ‘thing’ before he met me.”

And it was with that statement that I felt a slight twinge in my 46 waist slacks, which intensified a bit when Cal said “oh I almost forgot, I’ve got two dozen KrispyKreme donuts in the kitchen — Jim told me they were your weakness back in college —want some?”

“Chocolate custard filled?”

“Of course!”

To hell with Mounjaro, bring ‘em in!”

Cal just grinned and said to Jim, “told you no fat man can refuse a dozen or two KrispyKreme’s!” Then he turned to me and said “we’ll have you back over 300 in no time!”