Full of Love

Chapter 1

After fleeing his hometown because of some rather unfriendly entities, working for three years at a tiny candyfloss stall that hardly anyone ever visited, and falling in love with the entity that had tried to kill him, one might think Ashton would be positively chuffed to be on the verge of fulfilling his dream. But no.

They had moved into flat 3B, just a few blocks from the university with the marine biology programme he'd wanted so much, only two weeks ago, and he hadn't been able to sleep properly a single night. The first term was due to start in less than a month and, somehow, he couldn't settle down.

Ashton told himself he just had to get used to the new flat, or that once he was in that blessed lecture theatre he'd relax. But the truth was, he wasn't so sure.

Perhaps that was one of the reasons he spent his time cooking. Ever since he was a child, his mother had taught him that food was a way of showing love, attention and care. And so as not to dwell too much on his own problems, he cooked for his boyfriend: Felice.

"Ash~" the voice came from behind him, though the hall mirror reflected no one but Ash himself.

Felice's voice snapped Ash out of his reverie. It was the third time that day he'd been staring out of the living room's not-very-large window, which looked out onto a relatively busy street in this neighbourhood so different from the one they used to live in. Felice hated the vacant look his boyfriend wore at times like this. He hated even more not knowing what caused it.

The other's arms wrapped around Ash from behind, barely cool. The blond leaned into the contact slightly, with a sigh of pleasure. From this position, he could feel Felice's soft, rounded tummy brushing against his lower back.

"Yes?"

"You were lost in thought..." Felice murmured back, tucking a strand of his hair behind his ear. He adored how fair his hair was, and how every strand glistened when the sun shone directly on it. "Don't you dare fade away, OK?"

"Fade away?"

"Yes," replied Felice, pressing a short, soft kiss to his neck, on the right side. "You've been shining less these last few weeks... Aren't you going to tell me why? Don't you like this flat?"

"It's not the flat. Actually, I do like it, and in truth, I couldn't possibly dislike any place where you are," replied Ash, turning in her arms to face her.

In the afternoon light, Felice looked radiant. He always looked radiant, but now even more so. His skin had that subtle luminosity that wasn't quite human, despite being in his corporeal form, and his eyes shone with an intensity that always managed to calm Ash's mental noise. Which was ironic, because they were completely black. Although Felice retained his essence as an entity-for that is what he was-the time they'd spent living together and, above all, the voracious appetite he'd developed now that they were far from the Tree-his creator and jailer-had given him a much softer appearance. His cheeks were rounder, giving him a more youthful and healthier air, and her jawline was no longer as sharp as it had been the day they met. Besides, he still had a rather sizeable tummy.

Ash slid his hands down to Felice's waist, letting his fingers sink into the excess flesh that jutted out above the elastic waistband of his comfortable trousers. He liked that sensation; it was physical proof that Felice was there, that he was real and that he was well fed. Sometimes, he remembered when Felice hadn't yet come into his life, and he found it harder to sleep.

'It's just nerves about university. I don't want to ruin it,' Ash admitted in a whisper, burying his face in his boyfriend's shoulder. 'I've spent the last few years longing for this, and now...'

Felice let out a soft chuckle, a sound that vibrated against Ash's chest.

"You're not going to ruin anything. You're the best human I know, and you already know a lot about those scaly critters. Besides..." Felice pulled back slightly, winking at him, "I'm here to make sure you don't forget to be happy. It's a good deal, isn't it? You look after my stomach and make me happy, and I'll look after your heart in return~."

Ash smiled, subtly, and pressed a slow kiss to Felice's lips. They tasted sweet, as always, but without the artificiality of the amusement park-his previous job in the old city where he used to live. They were warm and real.

"I'm hungry, Ash~." Felice announced after breaking the kiss, rubbing his stomach with both hands. The gesture caused his T-shirt to ride up slightly, revealing the pale, generous curve of his abdomen. "I had to use a lot of energy to move those boxes from the entrance whilst you were away..."

Ash burst out laughing. He knew full well that Felice had probably only moved the boxes a few centimetres, and being an entity, it wasn't difficult for him to move them. Not at all.

"Come on, dinner's almost ready. I made lasagne. Lots of it. Enough to fill you up," said Ash, though not quite sure, guiding him towards the small kitchen table.

He'd prepared a huge dish, enough to feed three normal people, but on closer inspection, for Felice it might barely be a start. They sat opposite each other, though it didn't take Ash long to pull his chair closer to the entity's. He liked to watch up close how Felice savoured every bite. How her lips eagerly devoured every piece or portion.

Watching Felice eat was almost hypnotic. He didn't do it out of desperation, but with pure delight, as if every flavour were a new discovery that took him a kilometre further away from the rigidity of the Tree. Ash cut generous pieces and offered them to him directly with his fork, a gesture that had become second nature between them, not so long ago.

Felice opened his mouth eagerly, accepting each portion, closing his eyes as she chewed. With every bite, Ash felt his own anxiety dissolve. It was a strange but functional symbiosis: Ash nourished Felice's body, and Felice's physical well-being nourished Ash's mental stability.

"It's... amazing. And it's got good energy too~," said Felice with his mouth half full, letting a bit of sauce smear the corner of his lips.

Ash reached out with his thumb to wipe it away, but instead of using a napkin, he licked the rest of his own fingers as he watched Felice's T-shirt begin to stretch over his stomach as the lasagne dish disappeared. The entity's body was fascinating; it absorbed the energy from the food almost immediately, expanding to accommodate the pleasure it felt.

"Do you want some more?" asked Ash, though he already knew the answer.

"Always," replied Felice, giving him a look full of devotion. "And afterwards I want you to read me that chapter about jellyfish. I like the way your voice sounds when you get serious~."

Ash nodded, feeling for the first time in days that the weight on his chest was lifting. He got up to fetch dessert-a fruit tart he'd bought that morning-knowing that the night would be long, peaceful and filled with that happiness which, at last, he himself had chosen to build.

As Felice devoured the first slice of tart, Ash allowed himself to look at him closely. His boyfriend-it still felt special to say it-was getting bigger and bigger, and his stomach heavier. In that small flat, far from the traumas and forced smiles of his childhood and adolescence, when he'd had to pretend he didn't feel alone, Felice's weight gain wasn't just a matter of appearance; it was having someone who was choosing him, and whom he could choose in return.

Ash moved closer and planted a sticky kiss on his cheek.

"I love you, Feli~."

"And I love you too..." replied the entity, leaning in to kiss his cheek, slowly.