Taco girl and moon stache save omnomopolis

Chapter 2 - THE RETURN OF THE MOON MAN FROM SPACE

When we last joined Taco Girl, the Digestive Defender, she had just defeated (with emphasis on the "eated") Sandwich McGee, the legendary gunslinger, and prevented him from killing a sack of adorable puppies he had stolen from a bank. All that remained on her plate was the notorious bad check cashers known as the Cookie Decuplets. Though there were ten of them, they were not tough cookies, and the difficult part of this battle had ended when she finished off Sandwich McGee earlier. All she had to do was waste them (in the process adding them to HER waist) and when she does that we can all finally get to the good part of this fetish-y story where everyone fucks.

"Not so tough without the big guy, are ya, suckers?" Taco Girl taunted.

The Cookie Decuplets were shaking in their tiny boots, but stood their ground. Taco Girl decided to make the first move. She charged towards them and let loose her war cry (part berzerker-style shout, part seismic belch). Crumbs started flying and within seconds they had filled the air until it was too thick too see through. For a few minutes onlookers hiding in nearby buildings listened to the sounds of battle going on outside, then suddenly everything was still. Everyone watched with great anticipation as the dust settled, finally revealing an exhausted Taco Girl sitting on the ground, trying to catch her breath.

Standing over her were eight angry Cookie siblings, their weapons drawn and their eyes crazy.

At this point, it became clear that she had underestimated the Cookie Decuplets. Adding to her difficulty was the fact that villains had attacked the town by an unevenly distributed schedule, leading to sections of her gastrointestinal tract being comparatively empty while other sections (notably her stomach) being much more full. She realised that she needed help, so as she ran from the Cookie Octuplets that were now barreling towards her, she sent out a telepathic message to the first superhero she could think of, and indeed the first person anyone would think of when asked to name a superhero: the incomparable Moon Stache, the Moon Man from Space.

(Moon Stache, if you can hear me, I need your help!) she thought.

Her telepsychic brain rays traveled faster than light through the luminescent aether across hundreds of thousands of miles to Moon Stache's Moon base on the Moon, where he heard it as clearly as if she was standing in the room with him.

(I'm retired.) came his reply.

(Moon Stache, quit dicking around!) she pleaded. (This is Taco Girl, Omnomopolis's only superhero, and I'm up against an enemy I can't defeat by myself! You're the only hero I can ask for help at the moment, and I need help now!)

Moon Stache was quiet for a moment. (All right,) he said, (I guess my Space PS3 can wait while I help you. I'll be there as soon as I can. In the meantime I can only offer moral support and sage advice. Who are you fighting?)

(I'm up against eight insane Cookie siblings!) said Taco Girl.

(Some of the Cookie Decuplets, eh?) said Moon Stache. (In that case, don't worry, you aren't fighting eight baddies.)

(What kind of bullshit riddle is that?) asked Taco Girl as the eight baddies she was fighting slowly gained on her.

(The Cookie Decuplets have little loyalty to one another and no ability to work as a single entity with a single purpose.) noted Moon Stache. (Right now you are fighting just one enemy, and seven more are waiting on the sidelines for their turn. Remember this and you can defeat a group of any number.)

Moon Stache is right, thought Taco Girl. She couldn't fight the Cookie Octuplets, but she could fight a single Cookie... um... mono-uplet? She found a crack in the asphalt and jammed her feet against it to stop herself while she dropped down as low as she could. One Cookie Monouplet tripped over her and skidded on his face, while the rest ran past and screeched to a halt. She stood up, grabbed the fallen Cookie sibling, knocked him out with a haymaker and began to eat him.

It was no easy task to finish him. Her stomach was so full her superhuman esophagal muscles were barely strong enough to force any more into it. She began to chew the last bite as the remaining Septuplets returned to continue the fight.

(Your advice worked, Moon Stache!) she thought into the aether. (When you get here, be ready with some milk to wash these Cookie fools down with!)

(Huh? What was that? Oh, milk, sure.) replied Moon Stache. (I should warn you that I might be a little late getting there. I missed my exit and I've gotta do another orbit around the planet. Don't worry though, I've got a jug of space milk in the space mini fridge on my space utility belt. Space.)

Taco Girl dropped another Cookie with a kick to the groin, then rendered him unconscious with a kick to the head. As she raised him to her gaping maw, however, she felt a twinge of pain in her guts. She simply couldn't eat another bite. She needed time to think of a solution. She distracted the other Cookies by kicking a pile of unpopped popcorn from her battle with Son of Orville Redenbacher into a nearby burning car, creating a screen of popcorn that she used to run undetected down a nearby alley.

In her hiding spot she rubbed her aching belly. She tried to take a bite or two of the Cookie, but each bite only made it hurt worse. She tried to find something nearby to help her situation, but the only things in the alley were an empty dumpster (or, for British readers, "Tip") and a masturbating hobo under a damp sheet of cardboard. In the street, she heard the Cookies agree to split up to search for her, and this news made her thoughts more frantic and less helpful. Her heart was racing and so was her mind, and as she heard a Cookie walk past the end of the alley she became more nervous still. Moments later, another Cookie began to search down the alley toward where she was hiding, causing her to go all the way from worry to hysterical panic. She heard him inch closer and closer until he was at the opposite end of dumpster she was hiding behind, and then suddenly--

GRRRRAAARRGGGGHHHHHHLLLLLLOOOOWW WWWLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!

A deafening roar filled the air as Taco Girl's gut moved its contents around, shifting the remains of The Spaghetti-O Kid from her stomach to her colon and freeing up enough space for an army of Cookies. The Cookie that had been coming towards her turned from Chocolate Chip to Chicken and ran for his miserable life out of the alley. She wolfed down the unconscious sibling in her hands without a problem and set out to deal with the rest.

Will Taco Girl defeat the remaining Cookie Sextuplets? Will Moon Stache ever show the hell up? Will I be able to keep from getting swept up in the moment and stretching this story out way too long? Will everyone fuck? Tune in for what's hopefully the spine tingling conclusion (unless the answer to my third question turns out to be yes): THE MUSTACHED TACO OF JUSTICE!