Chapter 1 - THE WORLD'S MOST POORLY THOUGHT OUT PREMISE!

If it weren't for the miles of police tape and the numerous cops and Sherlock Holmes impersonators, a casual observer would never know that they were looking at the scene of the most daring act of larceny Omnomopolis had ever witnessed. Nonetheless, it is here at the vault of the freshly robbed Omnomopolis Federal Brownie Depository where we join our heroine, Taco Girl, the Digestive Defender.

"This better be important," said Taco Girl to the Chief Inspector. "I was in the middle of a two person party in a hot tub full of Jello."

"I apologise for the inconvenience, ma'am. If you don't mind me asking, who was the other person?" asked the Chief.

Taco Girl pulled out an oversized spoon. "His name is Spoony," she said with a smile.

"Well, I'm sorry to call you down here in the middle of your busy day," replied the Chief Inspector, "but some facts have come to light concerning this case that we thought you should be aware of. Sometime between midnight and 6am last night an unknown burglar apparently just walked into the vault of the Omnomopolis Federal Brownie Depository and stole two hundred pounds of brownies."

"What do you mean, they just walked in?" asked Taco Girl.

"We're still trying to figure that out," answered the Chief. "There's no evidence of forced intrusion, so whoever it was must have had a keycard."

"Isn't there any kind of a log we can check," said Taco Girl, "to see which keycard they used and when?"

"Actually, no," said the Chief with an embarrassed look, "this system was designed a long time ago. It's not exactly bulletproof."

"Well," said Taco Girl, "there must be something. What about the security cameras?"

"The security camera tape corresponding to that timeframe is missing from the security office, and so far our detectives haven't found any clues."

"Did you ever think of hiring some actual detectives, instead of Sherlock Holmes impersonators?" asked Taco Girl.

"Well, it seems like a good idea now, but in the past we've never really had any reason to," replied the Chief. "The only crime in this town comes from supervillains, and they generally aren't subtle enough to merit any kind of real forensics work."

"I see," said Taco Girl. "But what I don't see is why you called me down here. I don't have any more forensics knowledge than these theater school dropouts you've already got here."

The Chief's expression was grim. "Well, the reason we've called you down here is because according to this manifest, the stolen brownies were reserved for your use." The Chief handed Taco Girl the document. "We think the criminal may be targeting you personally."

Taco Girl looked at the manifest. It had all the official stamps and seals of the Mayor's office, so as to make these particular brownies seem more important than those belonging to the average citizen. "What makes you think that the thief was targeting me and not just stealing brownies at random?"

"Well," said the Chief, "there's an awful lot of brownies in here, so it would be a pretty big coincidence."

Taco Girl thought for a moment. "All right," she said, "I'll take the case!"

"That's good, we were getting nowhere with it," said the Chief. "All right, everyone! You can go home now! Taco Girl is gonna take care of this one!"

Taco Girl was hesitant. "Actually I--" she began to say, but before she could finish her sentence, everyone was gone.

"Well," Taco Girl thought to herself, "I guess I'd better round up the usual suspects, or... something..."

Will Taco Girl find the culprit? Will the corruption and incompetence in the Omnomopolis government be dealt with? Will I manage to get this story off the ground, and get it to go anywhere interesting? Stay tuned for the next episode: THE USUAL SUSPECTS... OF DOOM!