: training for the ultimate swallowing challenge:

Chapter 1 - the ultimate challenge

After giving birth to our vast numbers of babies, our African friends, celebrated with us, and made us a lot of gifts, including from time to time a few hippos and rhinoceros, when the population tended to outgrow their maximum numbers. In another event, my mistress maid, whom was also pregnant by me, gave birth to her 40 babies, all of them healthy and in good shape.. She was learning how to swallow big things, and she managed to swallow a few very huge turkeys and huge pumpkins, she reached 1000 pounds but unfortunately, her heart went kaput and she died in her sleep. Distressed by her loss we didn't knew what to do with her, and the babies, mistress said she would care of them as she was her mother; and with her body, we decided that mistress would swallow her, so that she would be always in company of her friend and boss, and so she did, she cried whilst engulfing her, so did I, but I was confident, that she was to be an essential part of her mistress body, and so I wont forget about her ever.
After the grieving period was over, we received from our African friends, an interesting article, in which said that in certain times of year, there were some whales dead stranded in beaches, and the disposing of the bodies and meat and bones, was a very tedious and costly procedure. They asked us, if we could possibly be of assistance in such a very big and messy operations. I asked me mistress about her opinion, and her loudly rumbling belly noises, were all the answer I needed. I called me friends the next morning, and told them, that they got a deal, and we packed again, for a new gastronomical feat.
When we arrived at the designated area, we were met by our friend and by many curious folks, which wanted to see and talk in person with the hippo-elephant lady, capable of swallowing an hippo or an elephant. Her fame spreaded for miles, and when people heard that she was coming again, they ran to meet and greet her.. People were awed and afraid of her gigantic belly and her notorious and loud belly rumbles, which many people even mistaken as the noise of thunders and lightning.
People were staring at her massive body, her white pale and delicate skin, her mischievous green magnetic eyes, and her uber gigantic belly.. People asked me if she was indeed capable of swallowing an entire cow, or even 2 at the same time; I told them if they wanted a demonstration, they said yes, and I asked them to bring the 4 biggest and heaviest cows they found; and as quick as lightning they brought 5 of the biggest I have seen around. When me lady saw the cows, her eyes went wide open, she smiled wickedly, her rumbles began and people mistook them for a distant thunderstorm.
A soon as they brought them, she said that everybody moved, gave her some space and shouted that the show was to start. She barely finished the sentence, when she literally jumped on the nearest cow, pinned it down with her weight, grabbed it by its ears, bit its head, and suddenly engulfed it in seconds, and with a big gulp, swallowed it as quick as lightning. Without giving the local folks a chance to recover, she jumped on second cow, and engulfed it faster than cow 1; and to even more astonishing and surprise of the folks, she opened her mouth so wide open, that she swallowed the other 3 cows, and a couple of passing by chickens, in a matter of few mins. Her belly made such a rumble and growl, that folks believed a pack of lions were approaching to the village, and ran for shelter...............
When the folks realized that there weren't lions close, and that the skies were clear, that no rain was close to see; they come to the evident conclusion that the rumbles came out of the gigantic belly of me wife, (we got married after the birth of the second wave of babies) and they turned out to be a very curious and surprisable bunch of nice folks. They still couldn't believe that the gigantic wife of the foreign "M'Bwana", which meant "Master" in African language, could be so agile, and how she could move so quick with 2 cows already in her even rumbling and growling belly, and how was it possible that she could open her mouth so wide as to swallow 3 cows, and a couple of chickens at once; little they knew that my wife was capable of swallowing bigger things, which they soon witnessed.

After the demonstration, the Chief of the Village, a very respectable elder called Simon Augustus UzzaBuzza, came to me side, and asked me to accompany him to the beach, where the stranded whales were left. When I saw them, I asked how many days were they stranded, and he told me less than 24 hours. There was a little bit of stench, which was carried away by the sea's winds and breeze, and there were some vultures and other huge birds, flying above them whales, some even dived landed on one of them, and managed to get a few bites before they were scared away, by the local folks. Chief UzzaBuzza asked me what was to be done with them, and I said that they were to be chopped in very huge chunks, and that they were to be roasted on stakes and put over huge bon fires. Chief UzzaBuzza asked if we could give the village some of the whales meat the blubber and fat, they could use as oil for their lamps and for other purposes, as well as the whales bones; to which I said yes, and the local folks, started the massive work of chopping them whales into pieces, with great gusto and in a cheerful mood, because they were eager to see some more of the "M'Bwana's" massive white wife swallowing capacity.
Soon the villagers made some bonfires, so as to boil the fat and blubber of the whales, and turn them into oil, to use in their lamps and as for ignite the wood to use in bonfires as well; and in the meantime they made the bonfires ready for roasting the meat in huge stakes, and in a matter of minutes, a very good smell of roasting meat, blossomed and rose from the bonfires, its powerful accent drifting through out the whole village, and the local folks gathered around the several fires, cutting the roasted meat, splitting it equally amongst them, drinking barrels of their native wine, and swapping jokes and laughing lots; whilst a selected group of helpers, brought pieces and pieces of meat to the fires, and when they were ready brought them to me unsatiable gorging wife. For delicacy and diplomacy, in respect of Chief UzzaBuzza and his elder advisers, I told me wife, to not to swallow them pieces of roasted meat, entirely; but rather to eat them in a civilized manner, slowly but surely, to which she obeyed without hesitation; in the meantime I assured that once the chief and the elders are gone, and the village, is asleep, I would ask for a very select group of villagers, to bring the rest of the meat to our hut, where she could swallow it, at her own leisure, and as many chunks together as she wished so. Meekly she obeyed, and when the village finally fell into a well-deserved sleep, I asked to the few extremely hand picked folks, that they bring the remaining of the roasted huge chunks of meat, to our cabin, where she swallowed them with great gusto and pleasure, causing her already swollen belly to growl, belch and make grumbling loud noises, like if it were a noisy train or airplane.
The hard work continued for the next couple of days, until the two whales were dispatched and got ridden of, without leaving much detritus and rubbish, which was equally split between some vulture packs, and the locals cats and dogs, whom enjoyed such a feast, with gusto and delight. Everybody was happy, the villagers profited by having a good job, whale produces like meat, oil, blubber and bones, that once they were pounded and ground as fine dust, was to be used as natural fertilizer for the villages crops. Chief UzzaBuzza was absolutely delighted and pleased with our partnership, that he made my wife and me "honorary members of the village" and gave the order to the craftsmen, carpenters and other workers, to build for my wife and me, a very big house, in a small plateau, a few mins walking outside the village, inside the perimeter of Chief UzzaBuzza personal lot of lands, which he inherited from his father and grandfather. WOW!! I was so baffled and pleased with the honor, that I offered to pay an extra bonification for all the villagers that helped in the building of my house. As a further compensation I offered to provide the village with a school, a medical facility, and an hydro-pneumatic pump, that was to be used to get water from the water reservoir in the tvillage, so as to assure constant and clean fresh water for the village. The chief and his elders advisers, bowed in gratitude to me, and I bowed back to them, as in homage to my grateful hosts
As days passed away, we got used to the village, and the villagers got used to my gigantic sized bellied wife rumbles and gurgles; and whenever the little kids ran afraid to shelter at home, scared by my wife's rumbles; the mothers so as to soothe the scared kids told them, that the rumbles weren't from menacing lions or thunderstorms; they came from the "M'Bwana's" white giant wife, they remained a little bit easier, but baffled at the intensity of her gurgling and growling sounds.
A very big surprise came a few weeks later, when a couple of whales, each of 50 tons, give or take, appeared dead on the beaches. .Chief Simon ran to me house with the news, and asked if we would do the same arrangement as the other day, and I said yes, but with a small difference. In whale one it would be split in 4 huge parts, each of 12,5 tons, of which one was absolutely and totally undisputed for the village, and the other 3 parts to be left at the beach, where me wife will dispatch them. The chief said ok, and he gave the pertinent orders, and my wife was helped to reach the beach, and when she saw the two huge whales, her eyes popped out of her sockets, her mouth began watering and drooling at once, and her mighty belly began making huge weird noises, growling and gurgling and bu
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