Chapter 1

There has always been a fine line for me, so fine I choose to smash it and walk all over it. I guess I never really pay attention to the little things, like a promise I have made to someone...

I should start at...well the start. I know a basic story has a start, middle and climatic (or anti climatic, if you are a sadist!) ending, with everyone riding off into the sunset. Normally my stories I write I never post here, or anywhere. No one sees them, because more then half the time they are unbelievable.

As unbelievable as they sound, most are based in reality of something. It might be a sound, or a scent of lilies... it might be the whirl of a leaf in my courtyard... but this one is an almost truth.

I remember his smile, it was like lemonade. So bright and sweet I thought I had never sipped something so lovely, or cool on such a warm summer night. His teeth, large pieces of white chick-let bubble gum, barely held back by his plucky mouth. The lame green, blue, mustard yellow stripe t-shirt he wore- that sort of shirt was all the rage these days. You know... puka shells, stripey shirt, spike hair, Doc Martins. All the rage for the "Bros."

Anyways... that shirt. I will never forget how soft it looked, and how it scratched into my soft wrists.

I am getting ahead of myself again, aren't I?

His voice was soft, his hands clutched a beer tighter then my bra. I could not help it, I had been slightly sad and felt sorry enough for myself lately.

So to comfort myself, and hold back not only the tears but the words I wanted to scream at the world- I took solace in food. I came out of my "cave," which is the nickname my friends gave to my room at our house. I live with 4 other females, we all work and go to school in the same area. They are all going to be nurses, and I am going to be a starving artist. Luckily my cave helped me find some sort of inspiration, the lonely nights I sat quietly- only to hear my housemates humping the brains out of some new found love- well I am a work in progress. I mean have you ever heard other people having sex? It is kinda wild, but then you feel guilty and slightly nervous...

So I paint, I draw... and I sell art. I have been doing some really cool pieces on- oh wait. You asked me what I did to support myself.

I do portraits of people, for the right price I will make your daughter look like a princess. She doesn't have to hold still, or sit for hours. I need one photo of her. A lady who is wealthy recently asked me to paint a portrait of her whole family, it kept me in paint for my other projects.

Feeling down and the burning sensation of the cash in my wallet- I fill a void with food.

If I have to listen to the girls in my house have a hole filled... it is my turn to fill a hole as well.

Anyways... him.

He was tall, with light brown hair and green eyes. I remember his teeth so clearly. His skin was warmer then mine, obviously he is not allergic to social activities or sunburns.

It was here at this art festival, the sun beating down on me. I see drunk frat guys drooling and laughing like hyenas circling a kill. I just want to see some of this motel art, make some more money for rent. I have enough to pay my bills of course, but I tend to be greedy and want more. Plus a few food binges into my finances says we need more.

Of course I am wearing all dark clothing, and watching as hippie like thin women in jade and pearls chirp to each other in a sing song voice about the complexities of modern art. I see rich people, who have to much time and money. In my honest opinion I see the ugly inside of each person. I can tell when you come up alone, wearing strappy heels and a low cut blouse, you more then likely want me to paint you naked as a revenge to your last lover for letting you leave. I can tell if you are holding the leash to your triplets, while texting on your blackberry, you probably want your little monsters to look like angels. I see how you want to lie, and be lied to. I am willing to do this for a price.