chapter 1

Chloe stared out of the train window, not really looking at anything as the countryside rushed past the misty window in a blur. She had butterflies in her stomach. Her mind felt like it was moving as fast as the train she was riding as she imagined how all the inevitable reunions with family and friends would pan out over the next few days – and even hours – in a few, very important cases. It's not that Chloe wasn't excited to be going home – this was her first time coming home after going away to Uni, and it was Christmas after all.

However, anxiety mixed with her excitement, hence the butterflies. Chloe felt silly for feeling this way. She knew she would would be coming home heavier than she'd left. Before she'd even finished her final year of school, the plan had been made to be coming home from Uni fatter, this Christmas and every other holiday in the next two and a half years or so until graduation. What wasn't part of the plan though, was just how much extra weight she'd be going home with on this very first visit home as a student.

As long as Chloe could remember, she had been obsessed with the idea of being fat. As a child she stuffed pillows up her pyjama tops and wondered why it made her feel the way that it did, and her imagination used to run riot with stories about getting fat. As she got older and hit puberty she tried to repress it, to be a normal girl like all the other girls in her class, but at the same time, whenever she was alone on her computer, late at night, she would be googling the phrases that would inevitably lead to her stumbling across feedist sites online. Through her teens she carried on pretending to be just like all the other girls, staying slim, dating boys and exploring young love, but almost every spare thought was taken up by thought about gaining weight and getting a body she was terrified to have for real. As she got older and started looking at Universities, the prospective fresh new start and freedom to live the way she wanted awoke something within Chloe that most soon-to-be students didn't experience. Her obsession with fat became even more all-consuming than it already had been. It became so bad that Chloe almost felt an ache in her slender belly sometimes when thinking about how much she wanted to be fat. She knew choosing to be fat was choosing a life harder than the one laid out for her as a conventionally attractive middle-class girl, but that didn't matter. With nothing to base it on, she knew that if she went through life without at least trying to find out the answer to that question she had asked herself as long as she could remember, she would regret it. She would always look back and wonder, her entire life... 'what does it feel like to be fat?'

So Chloe decided that when she went to Uni, she would do it. She would grasp the chance for a new start and finally go through with something she had imagined doing thousands of times. She would get fat. Chloe did her research – she was well prepared. She worked out if she could consistently overate, she could hopefully gain a pound a week, which would see her gain over thirty pounds throughout the term-time of her first year, hopefully even two and a half stone. If she could pull it off, she could be over 11 stone – 158 lbs – by the start of the summer holidays, up from her healthy 126 lbs when she left for Uni. However, for all her planning and research, there was one thing Chloe really didn't expect about gaining weight, and that's just how easy it can actually be if you work at it...

And Chloe had really worked at it, which is why she now found herself heading home at a generous 159 lbs, almost seven months ahead of her schedule! At 5'5, she wasn't fat by any means, she wasn't even what you would call chubby these days, but she was definitely pudgy, with her thickened thighs and small, plump belly among her more noticeably fattened features. Her baggy jumper hid the newly grown softness that adorned her lower belly, but her jeans weren't doing as good a job at hiding her widening bottom half. And even so, there's little hiding the physical presence that comes with increasing your bodyweight by a quarter – especially in just over three months.

She really shouldn't have been surprised – she had done everything she could think of to eat or drink whenever she could. She made lots of little changes, like buying something sweet to eat whenever she got a coffee at one of the Uni's many cafe's, to using a vending machine every time she walked past one on campus. She snacked through her lectures, and grazed while studying in the library. After a long day on campus she'd often grab some food at the Union or some other junk before heading back to her catered Halls for a second dinner, and she'd even snack on the bus on her way home. Every night out was a few more sugary boozy drinks than she needed, ending in a kebab shop where she always had a greasy treat and usually stole some of her friends' chips, everything with mayonnaise on it. Every night in was a night of getting high with Toni and the boys, getting the munchies and ordering food in to pig out on. Every morning after was an excuse to be lazy all day or start the day with a McDonald's or a fry up. The biggest culprit was probably her few nights alone a week though. Chloe had managed to use the threat of housemates stealing food from the communal kitchen to convince her Mum to buy a mini-fridge for her room, and she had taken full advantage of it and embraced that secret weapon of the feedee – heavy cream. Swallowing generous portions of heavy cream mixed with chocolate milk multiple times a week, on top of all the other snacks and fattening treats she kept in her room to gorge on whenever she wasn't already stuffed, meant she had been blowing up faster than she ever dreamed possible. She could see and feel new fat after just 2 weeks of her new gluttonous diet, and she was noticeably bigger by her 19th birthday, just 6 weeks into term.

The new weight was enough that it had already affected every part of Chloe's body, even if just a little bit. Her legs had thickened all over, with her thighs looking especially thick and feeling flabby. Her bum was ever so slightly more substantial, with a slightly greater curve and juiciness to her behind than she used to have. She couldn't see a difference in her forearms, but she could swear they had a slight softness to them when she touched them now – though she could definitely see a difference in her upper arms which had a slight, but undeniable, plumpness to them, especially right above her elbow where any faint definition in her arms was being rapidly covered by a smooth layer of fat. Her boobs had taken their share too, a bit less than Chloe had hoped, but she could absolutely feel the difference, in her back and in her hands. It wasn't just her boobs though, her chest itself was softer and smoother, with her collarbones sticking out quite a bit less than they used to. If you compared her to pictures from freshers week you could tell that she had definitely started to round out a little in her face too, with a touch of plumpness to her cheeks, and when she looked down, a softening jawline. The biggest difference, and Chloe's absolute favourite, was that she had gone from having a completely flat stomach to having a soft, round curve of paunch on her belly that made her stomach stick out forward a few inches, and could be easily seen through all her clothes, including the thicker clothes she'd been wearing as the year crept towards winter.

When she realised that she was gaining weight over twice as fast as she had planned, the thought that she could slow down – probably even should slow down – never even crossed her mind. All that did cross her mind was just how hot it was that she was gaining so fast, and how fat she could be, and soon. And that's why, at a moment even like now, with her stomach opening into a pit of nervousness at the thought of her new life crashing into her old one, it took one simple action to calm her mind, to make her realise it will be fine, because this is what she wants. Or at least, this is what comes with what she really wants so she's going to have to confront it, not just now but probably many times in the future. As her hand unravels from a fist shape in her baggy hoody pocket and settles on the curve of her new pudgy belly, a gentle squeeze reaffirming just how real the small handful of flab she has grown on her belly is, all her negative thoughts slip away, replaced by thoughts of how happy she is with her newly grown belly fat, and how much she can't wait for it to grow even more, and how much she can't wait to stuff her face with Christmas treats as soon as she gets back to her childhood home.

Chloe's time for introspection came to an end as the scenery flashing past the windows started to feel more familiar, signifying the train's approach to her home station. Even having chased off most of her negative thoughts with a dose of self-love, knowing she was about to see her parents made her heart beat fast as she got herself ready to get off the train. She grabbed her handbag from under her seat and threw it over her shoulder, then reached up to get her other bag from the baggage shelf. She blushed as she felt a snatch of cold air on the skin of her lower belly as her jumper rode up along with her arms, exposing her soft pudge for the briefest of moments before she pulled her bag down and then immediately pulled her jumper back down to cover the glimpse of her soft, pale flesh. Of course life decided to throw her that final little reminder of her weight gain before she got off the train and made her way through the station to the car park.

She scanned the car park looking for her parent's car. She expected them to be late, as usual, but then she saw them not too far off, standing next to their car waving at her, the tall, skinny, figure of her father counterbalanced by the short, wide figure of her mother. Despite the distance she could see they were excited to see her, and Chloe felt her face lighting up in a huge grin as she made her way over to the car to hug her parents for the first time in months. As she walked over, seeing them now, she wondered what she'd been so worried about on the train. As soon as she got to them, she dropped her bags and threw her arms around her mother, a loud and happy “Mum!” springing from her lips as she did, whilst her Mum called out “Chloe” in return and embraced her daughter in a huge hug. Chloe's father joined the hug from the side and gently patted Chloe's head as he held his wife and daughter. After a good few seconds the group hug broke up, and Chloe's mother took a step back, her hands still on her daughter's shoulders and a smile on her face as she looked her daughter up and down. She cocked her head slightly, and opened her mouth as if to say something but paused for a moment.

“You look... well” she said.