chapter 1

I can’t believe what I’m seeing as I look in the mirror. What happened that I became SO flabby and wide? The changes in my body due to my horrible habits happened gradually but hit me like a ton of bricks right now.

You see, I used to be a bikini fitness competitor.

( not really me, this story is not autobiographical like “quarantine fix”is it’s just a deliciously humiliating fantasy that I have)

In order to compete like that, the level of diet restriction and the grueling workout schedule could drive anyone insane. It is impossible to maintain and even the girls who don’t gain weight like I did still need a little bit of a break after a while. I think all of that restriction wound up really slowing my metabolism. As soon as I stopped that routine the first 10lbs seemed to Come on as if I was instantly inflated with fat! And worse , the scale says 10 lbs but most, if not all of the muscle tone I worked so hard for just turned to mushy sloppy fat. Fat weighs less than muscle so it looks as if I gained much more. And everyday I laze around and eat and drink and don’t lift a finger to exercise (unless the TV remote or walking to the kitchen counts) I get softer and softer, flabbier and flabbier. I really shouldn’t be shocked at the fat porker I see staring back at me in the mirror.

I was just SO exhausted and overworked and then not winning the last competition, I just broke! I immediately stopped at the beer distributor and got three 4 packs of Mikes Harder lemonade, which has significantly more calories than Mikes regular hard lemonade due to the alcohol content. They tasted like candy! Actually did I even know what candy tasted like at that point? When was the last time I had even tasted anything with sugar all? The last few weeks before the competition I couldn’t even eat bananas! No. Carbs. At. All! Still it had to be subconsciously self destructive, at least a little bit? It was just so hard to care anymore after that loss, and to my bitterly hated rival nonetheless!

After drinking a few Mikes Lemonades I was feeling naughty so I ordered a large Hawaiian pizza! I was literally giggling while ordering it, I was just giddy at the idea of being so bad! Ugh the freedom!!! I really didn’t expect to polish the whole thing off that night. Alcohol really simulates my appetite, I guess even more than I realize. After the pizza was devoured along with 6 of the Mikes, I laid back on my couch and rub my overstuffed belly. It was such a wonderful pain, not like the pain from working out at all! I could swear even from that very first night I could feel the fat crawling out under my skin, spreading layer after thickening layer all over my previously rock hard body.

So that is how it went, night after night, gorging myself silly, rubbing my belly feeling the layer of fat get softer and softer each time, and each time it took more and more rich heavy food to really feel full. So yeah, I know exactly how it happened but still! About 2 and a half weeks ago I made a half hearted attempt to get back to the gym, I went, I hired you as my trainer, and you prescribed me a exercise routine and strict diet. I knew that I was in trouble when you looked shocked when I showed you a photo of me on stage in a competition in peak shape. Could I really be that far from being there?! Obviously your reaction wasn’t helping my self esteem or motivation at all. So I just carried on with my laziness and gluttony. And it wasn’t like some men weren’t interested in me, I had a few guys I could call when I need them and they didn’t seem to mind my jet puffing figure at all. If fact one guy (my favorite) started feeding me in bed! Breakfast in bed when he spent the night, and it was always pancakes piled high with plenty of bacon and a extra cheezy omelet with catsup. My mouth waters just thinking about it. And then in the evening he hand feeds me desserts, really good expensive decadent ones, he loves to spoil me! I really need to let the other ones go and just like marry him or something!

But as far as getting back in shape he has not helped the cause. So the reason today such a big deal is because I’m meeting with you for the second time, and I led you to believe I’ve been following my diet and exercise routine to the letter. Why am I so stupid! Of course you'll clock in 2 seconds that all I’ve been doing is stuffing my greedy growing puffed out round belly and laying around on the couch! You obviously won’t know about me getting f***ed and fed all the time but I had to think about it because that’s been the most fun!

Step one- trying to stuff/ squeeze/wriggle my new bulk into my old work out gear. In the last 2 and a half weeks I gain ANOTHER 10 lbs! So that is a total of 25 lbs! I don’t even know when the other 5 came on, they just snuck in there somewhere. Twenty five lbs plus all my muscle turning to fat. I was way bigger than the last time I wore these! At 5’1 when I was competing I was barely 100 lbs, all muscle. Now I’m 125 lbs of pale ( I haven’t bothered to get a spray tan) flabby jiggling fat. It took me a good half hour to struggle into those clothes. Then, once in them I looked like a stuffed pig. Everything looked huge, especially my round doughy belly. My work out outfit was basically booty shorts and a sport bra. Every new pound was on display. My belly was rolling over the top of the shorts, my thighs were bulging out of the leg openings, the bra was pressing out my back fat, even my cleavage looked sloppy and overblown. My belly actually started to arc out right under my breasts so the bottom of the sport bra cut into that fat and everything just emphasized my porked out belly. I walked closer, then father away from the mirror, hopefully to get a different perspective. It certainly didn’t help, from doing that small movement I actually jiggled!!! What the hell!!?? I jiggle when I walk now??? I really had no larger gym clothes and I was already late. I had to go like this. Plus you said that you wanted me to wear the same clothes I did last time so I could “feel my progress” but I have been progressing in the opposite direction.

Ugh you are so muscular and fit too! You will be so disgusted when you see me! I’m so embarrassed already and I’m not even in the car on my way there yet! Once I get in the car and sit down I really see how badly these shorts are fitting me, if I look straight down my belly actually blocks any view of the shorts! They are swallowed up by my huge belly and thunder thighs! A strange sensation takes place between my legs. Did I just pee!? No.... I’m THAT wet, all of a sudden it just came on from no where! How odd? I start rubbing and bouncing my porky gut. I’m so horrified and so turned on at the same time. Well I need to get there so I start driving, every bump in the road sends my belly jiggling like a bowl of jello!!! I just know that I’m going to die of embarrassment, just from really anyone seeing me, but I had no idea how much you really would THOROUGHLY humiliate me!