Happy New Year

Chapter 1

I was thin once...no really...and it wasn't that long ago. I know, I know, we were all thin when we were young, but I was thin like 3 weeks ago! Stop laughing, I know it's hard to believe when you look at me now, my massive gut, the rolls and multiple chins, how my flab jiggles when I laugh. It's an extraordinary story really...and it's true! Stop laughing and I'll tell you...are you finished yet? I know you think I'm delusional, nobody and can gain over 300 pounds in only three weeks, but 10-15 pounds a day will do that to you. Yes, that's what I said, 10-15 pounds a day...stop laughing...I'm not crazy even though everyone around me tells me I've always looked like this, it isn't true. The first week of December, just three weeks ago, for a Christmas party I wore a size 4 slinky dress that wouldn't even fit over one of my enormous calves today. I looked amazing, but truth be told, I wasn't happy. Looking back I believe it started when my sister and I went to that Christmas market over on 5th, you know the one that only comes around for a few weeks once a year. I think the Gypsies run it...and that would make sense wouldn't it? I love those markets, wandering among the little shacks tasting and smelling various things. I have no idea what it was that I tasted or inhaled, but it changed my life. Two days after I visited that market, I stepped on the scale and looked down at the number...20 pounds?! I couldn't have gained 20 pounds in two days! I distinctly remembered weighing myself the morning we visited the Christmas market and I was definitely 20 pounds lighter than this broken scale was telling me. It had to be broken, nobody can gain 20 pounds in two days. I stepped off the scale and walked over to my full length mirror to take a good look at my body. I had gained weight, it was obvious...but 20 pounds?...that just couldn't be possible. I turned slowly and noticed a new softness covering my torso and the slightest bulge of a belly that had never been there before, but I now had hips! Wait a minute, I liked that, I looked just a little sexier than I had before...maybe these extra few pounds (no way it could be 20) were a good thing. I put the number on my scale out of my head and resolved to buy a new scale on my way home from work. I got dressed and noticed that my clothes fit just fine...if I'd gained 20 pounds everything I own would be too tight, so I knew that the scale must have been broken. I finished getting ready for work and headed out. I decided to stop at Starbucks on the way in, something I never did, and ordered a Venti White Chocolate Mocha with whole milk, I just had a craving that I needed to satisfy and I wanted that creamy goodness. One couldn't hurt and besides, turns out I like a little meat on my bones. When I got to work I asked my friend Holley if she noticed anything different about me. She looked me up and down and said "No, why do you ask?" "Well, I think I've gained a little weight." "That's ridiculous!" Holley said, "You look exactly like you did the last time I saw you." "Okay, good, and thanks!" I went about my day and decided to indulge in some of the treats my coworkers had brought in. Donuts, fudge, peanut brittle, cinnamon rolls, chocolates, cookies, candies. I grazed all day and forgot to stop for lunch, so on my way home I decided to swing by McDonalds so I didn't have to wait for dinner, even though it was totally out of character for me. I usually was very conscious of what I put in my body wanting to eat as healthy as possible, but I decided it was the holidays and what better time to give in to temptation right? I couldn't decide what I wanted so I ordered two different meals with large fries and sodas (not diet). I only intended to eat one but I was so hungry I ended up eating both. Wow, I can't believe I did that. I'll be seeing that on the scale tomorrow, but like I said before, if not now, when could I indulge? Besides, I could always start fresh in the New Year.