chapter 1

It couldn’t hurt, could it, to let go for a little while? That’s what you told yourself when you decided to start down this path. Maybe you wanted to gain a little weight to see how you liked it, or maybe you just wanted a break from counting calories, but it doesn’t matter- you’ve set yourself down a road you can’t escape.

You might wonder how anyone could say such a thing about you, after all, it’s only a few pounds. You haven’t gotten that much bigger, not yet. But it’s hard for you to stop, isn’t it? No one but you has even noticed that tiny layer of pudge yet, but before long, you won’t be able to hide it from anyone. Before long, the jeans that cut into your growing stomach won’t be able to get past your thighs.

Do you think you could lose the weight? Maybe you could. Surely, though, you’re aware of how gaining weight works- first, your fat cells swell to capacity, and then, they multiply. Once you have a fat cell, it never goes away, it can only deflate. In a way, what you’ve done to your body is permanent. Losing the weight you’ve gained so far is foolish, even if you could manage it. You’d be starving those new fat cells you’ve created, the ones that have forever changed your body’s natural weight, and until you filled them back up again, you’d suffer the effects of increased hunger, inability to satiate your increased appetite. Once you finally gave in, do you think you could stop here a second time? The weight would pile on much faster than it did the first time you gained it, you know, since you’d only be filling cells that already exist this time. Would regaining the lost pounds really satisfy your hunger? More likely, you’d end up with a few more pounds around your waist than before- the next step in a vicious, never ending cycle of yo-yo dieting that would always leave you fatter than before, with less muscle and a slower metabolism and less motivation to resist.

So maybe you’re thinking that you could just stop here, right? That you could accept your new weight and neither gain nor lose another pound? You might find that harder than expected, too. You’ve built new habits in your little experimental period, have you noticed? Yes, even just to maintain your weight, you’d have to cut back. You’d have to count calories, deny yourself dessert, live with the constant awareness of your self-denial for the rest of your life if you wanted to stop here. If you could do it, then yes, you could maintain your current weight... But have you really got that kind of willpower? I don’t think you do, or you wouldn’t be in this situation in the first place. You’ll give in eventually, and when you do, you’ll add more and more fat to your frame, digging your grave deeper and deeper. Each pound that you’ve gained already is proof that you lack the self control to fend off future gains.

Do you understand now how hopeless your situation is? Your fate is sealed, the only way for your weight to go is up. If you want any control over your future, any control over your body, that control can only be found in taking ownership of your inevitable gain and convincing yourself that it is a choice. There’s really no reason not to stuff yourself anymore. In fact, the only thing left for you to do is to work at increasing your capacity as quickly as you can, at least unless you want to be entirely subservient to your body’s own schedule. So go ahead, buy that box of donuts and wash it down with a few pints of cream- it’s all that there’s left for you to do now. You might as well embrace it.