Denial

Chapter 2

What I didn’t know was the Gary was on to me. I found out much later that he had seen me going into the gym – quite by accident. Gary was so suave and smooth that he never let on. He must have perceived this – me as a unique challenge. So, he must have decided to step up his plans to have me fattened.

Suddenly, Gary was showing up at my job and offering to take me to lunch during the week. What started out as an occasional occurrence, turned into an everyday affair. Just as before, it all happened gradually. I barely noticed the changes at first. My waist became more substantial as my belly became plump. My waistband dug painfully into my flesh as I grew more corpulent. I huffed and puffed as I attempted to fasten my skirt, my flesh being squeezed out of the top of the business attire.

I was becoming desperate. One evening we went to a late movie, I decided to fake Gary out. I remembered that taking a little psyllium fiber with lots of water on top of a meal would make my belly swell a bit. This way I could tell Gary I was full and I’d look it . He wouldn’t try to entice me to eat. It wasn’t that Gary ever forced me, he just was a damn good encourager and I was just so weak when it came to him and food.

Earlier that afternoon, Gary, as usual, took me out to lunch to a nice Italian place. I ate more than I should have and then rushed back to Gary’s apartment shortly after and sucked down 2 liters of water with the psyllium fiber powder.

I was busy bathing and trying to get changed to go out when I began to feel a lot of pressure in my stomach. I leaned back and rubbed the sides of my belly. I was feeling very full. As the feeling of fullness increased, I could feel my belly swell and become ever so firm. I must have miscalculated either the dosage or how full I already was from lunch. The firmness rapidly changed to hardness…tightness.

“Ooooo….oh…oh…oh” I gasped. My midsection slowly swelled up like an overripe melon. I felt as though someone was squeezing my sides together.

I heard a key in the door. It was Gary! I closed the bedroom door.

“Honey, where are you?” Gary called from the livingroom.

“In, in here,” I yelled out. Oh, no this is not happening, I thought to myself.

“Gary, would you mind if we stayed home? I’m a little under the weather,” I called out to him from his bedroom.

This was definitely a mistake, I thought cursing myself as I pressed my arms to my sides, my hands holding my bulging belly.

“Oh, my goodness,” Gary exclaimed, entering the room. “Let me get you some water.”

“Ah, no let me just lay down for awhile I’ll be alright,” I said, breathing hard.

But it was too late. Gary went into the bathroom and saw what I had taken. I had to confess everything to him. He sat and listened silently. He said nothing as he got up and disappeared into the other room.

I knew I had messed things up with him being so dishonest. I was surprised when he came back in carrying a basin with water, towels, and a jar of something. Gary made me stand and lashed a tape measurer around my waist. My stomach was so bloated and heavy. I could feel gas building up and swelling up inside me with every step I took. I was shocked to see I had inflated to 43 inches around – a three-inch expansion.

Gary spread out towels over the bed and lay me down on his king-sized bed. He then proceeded to bath my belly in warm water. If only the tight feeling in my midsection did not occupy all of my attention. I made a small, pained sound, stomach swelling slowly as Gary paused and resumed, but this time taking a sweet smelling salt rub out of the container on the bed.

His hand softly moved over the swell, Gary leaned in and whispered, "You look like you're with child. You might be having a reaction to that stuff.”

Oh, the pressure inside, I felt weighted down and so full and heavy. Gary gingerly rubbed my belly in long circular movements, working his way from the top to the sides. My belly was panging painfully. I felt stuffed. I felt panicked that the tightness wouldn’t cease. I was breathing harder…fuller and fuller...finally, I felt the pressure began to lessen slightly under Gary’s careful ministrations.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t honest with you, Gary,“ I began and told him everything.

He listened and told me that I had to stop feeling guilty with every meal I ate. It was all up to me. If I wanted to be slim, stay the same, or get fatter. Whatever my decision, he would support me.

So we spent the rest of the night quietly and I did come to a decision. It was ready to gain for myself or bust trying.