Want to enjoy fat sex but not sure how to please your bigger partner, or feeling too fat to enjoy physical intimacy?
Fat people are gorgeous. The size, the warmth, the curve and drape of their voluptuous flesh, the eye-catching jiggles, and the yielding softness of their bodies are irresistible. Many of us come from cultures where we don’t hear that message, but at Fantasy Feeder, we’re here to celebrate the beauty, grace and sensuality of the fat form – without limits on size or shape.
For feedists – a term that includes feeders, feedees, mutual gainers, encouragers, and people who find fat and eating erotic – the pleasure of feedism isn’t just the act of stuffing, but the sheer joy of worshipping fat bodies in all their glory. One term for someone who prefers a fat partner is an FA, or fat admirer, but adorer might be closer to the mark. FAs and feedists know that fat people are beautiful and desirable, no matter what a fatphobic culture might say.
Fat bodies pose some challenges when it comes to sex, but they can be overcome with a know-how and communication. People of any size can have hot, fulfilling, loving sex lives!
Common Concerns for Super Fat Sex:
If you’re a reader who has never had the pleasure of being intimate with a supersized person, or a fat person adjusting to a new size, you might have a lot of questions, or even feel nervous about having an intimate encounter. That’s perfectly normal. People can feel very vulnerable about their body and their sexuality. We’ll explore some tips to help you communicate, stay confident, and approach your encounter with curiosity.
Top Tips: Why Does Curiosity Help?
Curiosity opens the door to a lot of positive outcomes. Think of it this way: if someone approaches sex with a rigid plan and a specific set of expectations, they may be disappointed when the plan and reality aren’t able to mesh. Using curiosity opens up opportunities to try new things and enjoy new pleasures. An anecdote from the Fantasy Feeder forums illustrates this:
DrHarleenQ “I was a virgin when my partner and I first dated. He's larger than I am, so I was so afraid. Honestly, experiment. Be prepared to laugh and be completely stumped by physics. I will say this: we never thought we could do missionary. But after time together, well…”
Curiosity opens the door to a lot of positive outcomes. Think of it this way: if someone approaches sex with a rigid plan and a specific set of expectations, they may be disappointed when the plan and reality aren’t able to mesh. Using curiosity opens up opportunities to try new things and enjoy new pleasures. An anecdote from the Fantasy Feeder forums illustrates this:
DrHarleenQ “I was a virgin when my partner and I first dated. He's larger than I am, so I was so afraid. Honestly, experiment. Be prepared to laugh and be completely stumped by physics. I will say this: we never thought we could do missionary. But after time together, well…”
Some concerns about fat sex center around the basic mechanics, or a lack of stamina. These limitations don’t mean that sex and pleasure are impossible. They just require adaptation.
Other concerns are more personal. Fat people are flooded with negative messages, saying that they are unattractive or even unlovable. We know that’s not true, but in intimate moments old fears can rise up. It’s important to communicate those fears with your partner(s) beforehand – even if it’s intimidating – and it’s equally important for FA and feedist partners to listen to those fears. A compassionate response goes a long way, and trust can make hot sex even hotter.
Communication for Super Fat Lovers
Sex is a collaborative activity where the goal is mutual pleasure (even if the pleasure is sometimes in pain). Talking about what you’d like to do, what your fantasies are, or what your boundaries are is a crucial part of the collaborative process – especially if you’re playing with kink. There are different approaches to communication in BDSM and kink. The only way to find out what approach works best for you and your partner(s) is to talk about it first.Communication will also help you lessen the risk of harm, even when you’re not playing with pain or power. Supersized people range from being able to do just about anything to experiencing significant limitations in their lives. They may not be able to physically do everything they or their partners fantasize about, but with open and honest communication, you can bring fantasy as close as possible to reality.
What Makes Penetrative Sex Difficult?
The very thing that FAs love is the very thing that makes super fat sex challenging. It’s one of life’s little jokes.Let’s start with anatomical challenges. FUPAs or fat pads are slang terms for a well-fattened mons pubis. It’s the mound of soft flesh that sits above the genitals, and when a person gains weight, it can go from a small mound, to a plump hill, to a mountain of fat flesh. To many, especially here at FF, it’s a sensual treasure, but it adds complications for sexual activity.
When large enough, the mons can hang over the genitals, hiding them. For people with external genitals, it can lead to a condition called “buried penis”. This adds another level of complication, but for fat lovers it also adds another layer of excitement.
Top Tips: Digging for Buried Treasure
There’s a popular idea that for every thirty pounds a man gains, he loses a half inch from his penis length. Here on FF, we can do some community research and see that this may not always be true! Some people report losing quite a bit of length and being unable to have penetrative sex. Others say: nope, didn’t happen for me, even after becoming super sized. Everyone puts on fat in a different way.
This condition doesn’t mean that sex is off the menu. Oral sex, frottage, or hand jobs can still make pleasure possible. Some folks use it to fuel domination/submission kinks or use it in genderplay. With a little planning and an openness to experimentation, you and your partner(s) can have hot, fulfilling sex at any size.
Generously sized FUPAs don’t only affect men or AMAB people, however. Women/AFAB people can have a similar issue with their fat pads hanging over their vulvas. Very fat thighs or buttocks can also be obstacles to penetration. In addition to these physical challenges, many super fat people don’t have a lot of stamina. When trying out positions, a feeder should be sensitive to the limits of their partner, and – you guessed it – communicate.
There’s a popular idea that for every thirty pounds a man gains, he loses a half inch from his penis length. Here on FF, we can do some community research and see that this may not always be true! Some people report losing quite a bit of length and being unable to have penetrative sex. Others say: nope, didn’t happen for me, even after becoming super sized. Everyone puts on fat in a different way.
This condition doesn’t mean that sex is off the menu. Oral sex, frottage, or hand jobs can still make pleasure possible. Some folks use it to fuel domination/submission kinks or use it in genderplay. With a little planning and an openness to experimentation, you and your partner(s) can have hot, fulfilling sex at any size.
Generously sized FUPAs don’t only affect men or AMAB people, however. Women/AFAB people can have a similar issue with their fat pads hanging over their vulvas. Very fat thighs or buttocks can also be obstacles to penetration. In addition to these physical challenges, many super fat people don’t have a lot of stamina. When trying out positions, a feeder should be sensitive to the limits of their partner, and – you guessed it – communicate.
Common Questions
Q. I’m a feeder and my partner is a supersized woman. What should I do in the bedroom?A. Keep in mind that mobility, stamina, and flexibility can vary quite a bit, even between people the same size. The best thing you can do is to communicate both before and during your encounter. Other things you can do include having extra pillows to use during sex, or having a few props (discussed in the next section) to make penetration and pleasure easier.
Q. What if I’m not able to penetrate my partner due to their FUPA, thighs, or the length of my penis?
A. Don’t give up right away! Try a few different positions and add in supportive pillows. You could also add in toys. If you still can’t find something that works for penetrative sex, don't despair. Pleasure isn’t limited to one position and sex doesn’t stop with penetration.
Q. I have difficulty staying hard (or getting wet). What should we do?
A. Many people turn to medication to stay hard, but if that isn't right for you, try a cock ring. Start with an adjustable or silicone ring first. Some have vibrators attached which is even more fun for you and your partner! As far as getting or staying wet, lube is always helpful, especially if your partner is on medication or has any health conditions. Try a glycerin-free lube to avoid risking yeast infections.
Sexual Positions and Overcoming Challenges
In Super Fat Sex Positions, pillows, and props are all incredibly helpful tools. Positions are the easiest to start with as all you need is your own body. Many super fat people find it easier to access their genitals when they tilt their torso to the side and help their belly and fat pad slope away from their hips. Lying all the way on one’s side is another tip that works for some. Those positions are helpful for masturbation or oral sex, but may not work for penetrative sex.Doggy style - Is one solution for supersized penetrative sex. Receiving partners of supersized people report loving the way fat bellies feel on their back. Penetrating partners talk about how nice it is to hold and caress back and side rolls, or to grip their partners hips to thrust more deeply. Even in that pose, however, thick thighs, bloated butt cheeks, or hanging FUPAS can be an obstacle. It’s always good to try out a few positions.
Cowgirl (reverse or regular) -Can be great, whether the fatter partner is riding or lying down. If getting enough momentum when riding is an issue, try having sex on the floor or another sturdy, flat surface. Add pillows under knees to get more lift (if the penetrating partner is super fat, this might be an issue). Yoga blocks work well for this too. Another option would be to use a chair – after you check the weight limit. Some people find it easier to balance and bounce when their feet are able to brace on the floor.
The butterfly position - This is less well known, but not too difficult to do. The penetrating partner stands at the edge of a bed (or countertop, or spanking bench…) while the receiving partner spreads their legs and rests them on the shoulders of the standing partner. This is a great position for anal or vaginal sex. It is particularly helpful for clitoral stimulation. Additionally, if the standing partner has a foot fetish, this is a fabulous position to combine toe-worship with sex.
Q. My partner’s fat lower lips make it hard to touch her clit. How do I pleasure her?
A. Make like Spock and do a Vulcan salute using your fingers to spread the labia open. Center the clit in the V between the fingers to reveal it, and enjoy! Live long and Orgasm!
Did you know...
Sometimes we all need extra support. Wedge pillows are a blessing for anyone’s sex life, but they’re especially helpful for super fat sex. The Liberator is the best known brand for sex pillows, but any memory foam or polyfill wedge pillow can help. Even they have limits though. Supersized folks like QueenGoddess45 notes, “Elevating hips doesn't help much anymore...gotta get that belly out the way.”
Fat admirers express real joy in rising to meet these challenges, as Littlejohnboy makes clear in his reply to her: “ I have been with women in the 470-480 pound range with huge thighs… Having the sides of my head squeezed by thighs and a huge belly resting on my head while eating a SSBBW pussy is amazing!”
Clearly, for feedists, there is no such thing as ‘too fat’ to give and receive pleasure. If fate and fat will not permit old-fashioned penetrative sex, it’s time to get creative.
Sometimes we all need extra support. Wedge pillows are a blessing for anyone’s sex life, but they’re especially helpful for super fat sex. The Liberator is the best known brand for sex pillows, but any memory foam or polyfill wedge pillow can help. Even they have limits though. Supersized folks like QueenGoddess45 notes, “Elevating hips doesn't help much anymore...gotta get that belly out the way.”
Fat admirers express real joy in rising to meet these challenges, as Littlejohnboy makes clear in his reply to her: “ I have been with women in the 470-480 pound range with huge thighs… Having the sides of my head squeezed by thighs and a huge belly resting on my head while eating a SSBBW pussy is amazing!”
Clearly, for feedists, there is no such thing as ‘too fat’ to give and receive pleasure. If fate and fat will not permit old-fashioned penetrative sex, it’s time to get creative.
Creativity
Having fantasies that are flat-out impossible to do is pretty common in the feedist community. That doesn’t mean that you or your partner will never be fulfilled sexually, it just means that it’s time to use your brain. After all, in Dr. Ruth’s words, “When it comes to sex, the most important six inches are the ones between the ears.”This is another part of any relationship where communication is helpful. Try sharing your favorite images or stories with your partner. Incorporate your wild fantasy in your dirty talk (“Ooh, I’m getting fatter right now, I’ll be the size of a planet soon!”) and tell your partner what you find sexy. Sometimes a specific word or phrase casts a magic spell and turns an ordinary bedroom into a hedonistic palace.
If positions and pillows aren’t working, try using props. While it can be hard to find things made specifically for fat or super fat bodies, there are brilliant fat admirers and feedists ready to compile their research for the rest of us.
Props for super fat sex include things like dildo/vibrator holders (sometimes called a “wand harness”) to extend someone’s reach to get around a big belly or hanging fat pad. Penis sheaths can add a few inches for deeper penetration, and come in some fun shapes for furry or monster sex. At the pricier end of the prop spectrum, there are pannus apron slings, hip harnesses, or tantra chairs (weight limit 1500 pounds!) to hold people or just part of their bodies in place. Imagine the medical play you could enjoy with a sling and a speculum!
Beyond Penetrative Sex:
Using one’s own body creatively can be a sort of prop as well. Frottage, tit-fucking, or scissoring are all acts well known outside of the feedist community, but fat bodies can take these to another level. Unlike thin bodies, we have rolls on our sides, under our belly, or even on our thighs and arms and all can be used for sex. Fat bodies are practically designed for pleasure.Part of having great sex is letting go of the idea of “perfect” sex. Porn can be fun, but it shows a crafted fantasy with a lot of work that goes behind the scenes. Real sex is messy, sometimes funny, sometimes awkward, but a lot more passionate than what you might see on the screen.
If you or your partner aren’t able to have penetrative sex, explore other alternatives. Mutual masturbation, handjobs, and fingering are ways to be intimate that may not have as many challenges. Try incorporating role play, fantasy, and dirty talk into your intimate moments. Food and feedism are other great additions to super fat sex. Teasing about appetite or size is a big turn-on for many feedists. The bottom line is this: being supersized doesn’t rule out a fantastic sex life.
There’s more about super fat sex than could be covered in one essay or even one book. Each of us will approach it differently with our own unique body, our desires, our fantasies and the way we connect with partners. There’s no singular path to bliss. We are all on our own roads to ecstasy.
The Erotic Power of Feeding and Fantasy
While physical sex is important to many of us, sexual fulfillment doesn’t always come from penetration or orgasm. For feedists and fat admirers, the journey into pleasure often starts long before anyone’s clothes come off. The act of feeding, being fed, and indulging in fantasies can be just as...if not more intimate, arousing, and satisfying.Being stuffed, feeling full, or simply enjoying the sensuality of food can lead to intense gratification. The sensations of fullness, belly pressure, and even the sounds of digestion are turn-ons for many feedees. That heady mix of comfort, submission, and indulgence blurs the line between appetite and arousal.
On the other side, feeders and FAs find excitement in the ritual of providing food, watching someone eat, or seeing the effects of that indulgence take shape. There’s immense erotic power in seeing a belly swell after a big meal, in watching someone lovingly jiggle or play with their rolls, or in exploring the smooth, soft, yielding parts of a growing body.
Sometimes, the biggest thrill is watching a partner explore themselves. Stroking their own belly, squeezing their thighs, showing off what’s grown or changed. This visual and tactile celebration of fat becomes a full-body experience of desire.
For many in the feedist community, fantasy is part of the sex. Dirty talk about how much someone has eaten, or how big they’re getting, or imagining future gains can be a huge source of arousal. These shared fantasies create emotional intimacy, build trust, and deepen erotic connection.
Whether it's food, fullness, fantasy, or flesh, super fat sex is about savoring every layer of pleasure and letting your desires expand and become fulfilled.
