Luckily, I do not depend of FF or Feabie for my life's entertainment and enjoyment. I realize that being 70 years old and married does not make me very desirable. But I remain a member, and am glad to share my 50 years experience as an FA and a member of the size acceptance community to anyone who wants advice, or just wants to chat about it. I wish people happy birthday on Feabie.

But what really bugs me is that the definition of feeder seems to be changing from someone who encourages someone to eat and gain weight, to someone who sends money to someone claiming to be a feedee. On both website's profiles, I have made it as clear as day that I do not send money or food to anyone for any reason. This is to avoid the half hour chats back and forth which culminates in a request for money. It's a waste of time for both of us, because no matter how special someone thinks they are, sending money just isn't going to happen. So, like someone pointed out, profiles need to be read before chatting.

Before the Internet, and when I was single, I would use the print dating ads, and just say that I was looking for someone overweight. Later, BBW magazine had a "Friendship Express," where fat people and admirers could hook up.

Well, as far as I know, NAAFA was the first organization for large people and their admirers. This started in 1969. They have never condoned gaining on purpose however. There was a song about Feederism by Allan Sherman called "Grow Mrs. Goldfarb." I believe this was from the early 1960's. But I guess people just had to seek out larger people, and see if they were interested in gaining. Or perhaps just being with a BBW/BHM was enough without the gain.

Most weight gained is permanent. Fat cells don't disappear, they just shrink. It is the tendency for the cells to return to normal size. I know a lot of 400 pound people who started out planning to stop gaining, and they never could.

When you are 20, and having a life expectancy until 60 is no big deal. However, when you are 59, and having a life expectancy to 60, is a big deal.

Report it to the admins.

This is not real life, this is the Internet. You might find someone you hit it off with, or you may not. I've never really made friends here, but I do not expect to find friends when I am 70 years old and married. The best thing is to join as many things as you can, in real life, and the Internet, and hope you find people you hit it off with. No one single place is guaranteed to work.

It must be hard with the foaming of the mouth.

You just joke and kid around. While eating in a restaurant, you say something like, "if I have dessert, I'll look like her." (point out a very fat woman.) See what he says. It sounds like he is a feeder, and you are a feedee, but you are both afraid to admit it. But some joking around before having a serous conversation will give you both a good idea where you each stand.