The one time I went looking, the best info I could find on max absorption of calories per day was around twice your baseline needs. I'm sure there is a lot of error bar around that, but it seems like a reasonable rule of thumb.

You can pack a lot of extra food into your digestive system and even bloat up some with water retention, but it isn't long term fat. I've been up 10 pounds after a three day stuffing, but a few days later all but two of that had gone away again as my system cleared itself back out.

20 pounds will likely be noticeable to you, it may or may not be as noticeable to others, depending on how you carry it, how big you are now, etc. But other than a change to how clothes fit and so on, you may not notice any real change in your life unless you typically do pretty high-demand sports.

Few people manage long term weight loss of more than about 10% of their weight. However I suspect that gaining and losing quickly after the gain may be a bit easier (your body may still be fighting the gain and not have re-adjusted its set point). But if you gain and stay there for a while it may get harder to lose all of it.

I forgot about that one! Yah, I won't use a tight parking spot any more, my days of slipping out through a half opened door seem to be in the rear view mirror now.

I'm only a small-fat, but a few things:

- when doing much walking, wearing bike-short style boxer-briefs to reduce thigh chafing

- loosening my belt a notch or two when sitting down for any length of time

- leaving my shoes on when I come inside if they are reasonably clean and I'll be going back out later, so that I don't have to take them off and put them back on. Or wearing flip-flops for quick trips into the yard.

- before I sit down (to read, play on the computer, watch TV, etc) I make sure I have everything I may want for the next while (water, phone, maybe a mug of tea or whatever)

- I'm better at heading out for the bus earlier, or waiting for the next one if the time is tight, rather than risking having to run for the bus (not that I've had to take the bus to work for months, I'm not sure I could run for more than a short block even if I tried now)

- Occasionally stepping aside on a sidewalk to let faster walkers pass me (especially now with Covid distancing)

- sometimes resting my belly on the counter while washing dishes, to reduce back fatigue

- When getting up from seated, I pretty much always swivel to be facing the direction I'll be standing up (like twisting sideways in the car seat, or turning my chair away from my desk). (Getting my gut centered over my feet can be a bit chancy if I'm getting up in weird ways)

Looking at my socks and thinking "ugh, I don't want to have to put those on yet" due to the awkwardness.

Washing in the shower and finding it harder to reach parts of my back.

Finishing my traditional bowl of cereal, and finding that I'm still very hungry.

35 currently, which in some schemes moves me to Obese II from Obese I, so that was something I enjoyed hitting.

I agree that it can add to the loneliness in life.

Obviously there is the issues of finding a partner or not and whether they share your kink.

But also it can kind of alienate you from those around you. It can be a big part of who we are, but not something we can usually talk about much with friends or family, and some of what interests them or which they consider important is less apt to resonate with us. So that creates some distance from people we are supposed to be close with. And people you can talk about it with are often long distance to you, so those friendships don't offer quite all that an in-person one does.

And that was just based on feelings. If your kink is part of why you are fat, or have a fat partner, there is the social fatphobia and just day to day obstacles that can keep you from being as involved in a lot of activities.

Some years ago we took our cat in for her annual appointment, and had a new, youngish vet (probably recently out of vet school, so likely mid-late 20s?). She was on the tall side (maybe 5'7 or 5'8" and under her scrubs and 'doctor jacket' (I don't know the proper word) she looks fairly curvy. Probably overweight by medical standards or high fashion standards, but most people would have more likely said curvy or statuesque.

A year later we were back for our cat's appointment and her jacket was tight and pulling at the buttons, and her face had rounded out quite a bit, and certainly she was looking on the fat side.

Another year and she had given up on the jacket, her face was wreathed in fat, her hips had really become quite broad and she had a very definite belly jiggling under the scrubs.

We haven't had her for the past couple of years and I thought she might have moved on to a different clinic, but it turns out she is back. We just recently we had our cat in -- but under covid you pass in the carrier at the front door, the technician takes it to the back, and you talk to the vet by phone. She did mention being away for a while, so I don't know if she was working elsewhere, took maternity leave, had weight loss surgery, or who knows what. Anyway, I'm obviously curious to see what she is looking like now, but I doubt she has gotten bigger (most people hit some size and decide that is enough for them, and she had already grown a lot)

Thinks have worked out well for me, but absolutely I'd suggest finding someone who at least accepts your kinks and kind of passively enables them, even if they don't actively support them. Like, if you want to be fat and like contrast, someone who accepts you as fat and who likes to work out. Or if you are a feedee, they love to cook and have people enjoy their food.

Finding someone who actively matches up with your kinks is obviously the ideal! But you a) have to have a good understanding of what those are (and for many people that evolves some as they get to know their initial kinks better), have to find that person who matches up, and c) have to be fortunate not to have your kinks grow apart over time.

My wife knows that I appreciate her being fat and that I have no objections to her being fatter, but I've never gone into any more detail than that on my feedism kinks.

We were married before I had more than a vague idea of what these desires were all about. I communicated just enough to find out that despite her appetite she doesn't share these kinks. So it didn't seem fair to put those on her once I did understand it all, when I understood that it wasn't her thing.

I try to channel my feedist energy to sites like this, where I can vent my feelings without impacting our relationship, and I do my best to support her on her periodic health kicks.