That's great, It sounds like you're doing your best and I'm sure they appreciate it. As for their weight fluctuation it's kinda on them at this point. I suppose you could ask them if they want you to intervene in anyway and support their diet at all or just kinda continue on as normal.

Ultimately it's something they kinda need to figure out for themselves. The best way to go about it is to continue giving them support and hope that maybe the fact that they have someone who loves and supports them unconditionally aids them in finding comfort in their own skin.

Support them and appreciate them no matter their weight. If they want to lose weight so be it. If they aren't really into it but aren't doing anything to lose weight appreciate what you have now, not as a focus but just in general. With love and support they may eventually find comfort in their own body but that's something they need to find for themselves.

Eh you shouldn't feel guilty honestly.

You don't need to do it for a partner but if you do go through with it anyway for their sake, it's still your choice. Your decision to change YOUR body. There's no reason to feel guilty when you're putting in effort for your partners pleasure. It's the same either gaining or losing.

What you do with your body is your choice and nobody elses. You may change it for them if you wish but you should also want it for yourself too. If you're doing it for cosmetic reasons and not under the pressure of health there's no reason to beat yourself up over it. Just take it at your own pace if that's what you wish to do.

I think you're missing the part that rub people the wrong way. Near the end they say "There's no female members nearby to discreetly meet and start exploring."

As in behind there partners back.

While I understand being nervous about wanting to share, simply covering your ears going "lalalalala." And putting both himself and her through this is irresponsible.

Rather than taking the initiative and breaking things off when they are both dissatisfied op is choosing to let it boil and get worse and hope it just "happens." and that their partner will leave for them rather than doing the deed themselves.

There's nothing wrong with wanting to explore a fetish even on your own if it involves your body. It's your own body afteral, but when others get involved and it isn't communicated between both parties it starts getting shady.

And while op hasn't done such a thing, the fact that they desire thus and wont just let their partner go and be free or even fully express their desires is the part that others are condemning them for.

I mean there's not really much you can do except give it time and see how he reacts in the future. I mean I suppose you could make some passing comment on your weight to prompt a certain response and gauge their reaction.

But ultimately being open and honest with one another is probably for the best. But apprehension when it comes to this fetish is understandable.

Hey no worries! This stuff is difficult to overcome and it doesn't happen overnight. It's just a small amount of weight after all. Stay strong and good luck!

Maybe you can talk about introducing roleplay into your lives and see if that helps satiate your needs? Or find other ways to vent your needs? Of course you should be open and honest with them about how you feel.

As for your situation though I'm not sure how to fully help out. You need reciprocation in the fetish in some manner. Or some way to kinda release your needs.

Moving out's probably you're only option. That or just being honest. You're under her roof and if she flat out rummages through the food to check up on your diet and berates you for your weight, it seems fairly clear gaining isn't the best decision right now.

And while being honest will atleast making your standing clear and that it is your choice, She doesn't sound particularly like the understanding type. And she isn't obligated to keep you in her home either so she may threaten you with that standpoint.

If you want to gain it sounds like you're going to have to stand on your own two feet in this case. As gaining under her roof is going to be downright impossible.

More calories in than calories out really. Could focus on foods/ drinks with higher calorie counts like Ensure plus. Maybe loook into one of those fitness apps and see how many calories you burn in a day, and then adjust your activities/ diet accordingly.

Holy shit... You guys got one hell of an amazing relationship hah!

I have a friend that's also veeeeeeeeeeeeery into numbers. She's also very nervous about going to big though. She usually sets her max at around 160 but her mental barricades have kinda been waning in that regard.

First thing she does when she get's hyped for the adventure is make a spreadsheet of her daily calorie count and her weight. She get's her weight first thing the next morning to make sure it's not just food.

Albiet it sounds like you're going way harder on this than she usually does. She normally drinks Ensure plus to get the job done. But she still manages to pack on the pounds quickly.

She also measures her proportions and looks to see which grew more that day. She's generally super enthusiastic about her lower half growing.

Generally when she is gaining I kinda talk to her about all the small changes and how they keep adding up. "Why not give your thighs a squeeze, my aren't they getting soft? Filling out your pants more and more by the day. Careful now you're getting dangerously curvy! One more bite and your curves might start growing to the point past containment." And stuff like that.

Or sometimes I tell her how much a person normally eats, and compare it to her end of day results. Or when she has a particularly big enough meal... One time she woke up and I managed to get her to consume about a thousand calories before she even got in the shower in the morning.

"Wow... You managed to consume what most would have in an entire day, in thirty minutes. Talk about ballooning hm... Someones gonna be wearing their fat pants today that's for sure. I wonder how long those will last if this becomes a habit."

Just filling her head with the "what if's" of her achievements becoming the norm.