"Dang it! I bet if you would've stopped even 5 pounds ago, you could've probably still gotten into the sleeves!"

The mail lady just smiled at me and said "God it's a bitch getting pregnant when you're already fat! I was a good two bills when I got pregnant the first time." At first I was confused, but then I looked down and understood

I didn't know it was possible to rip a bra in the front, but it looks like I'm going to burst through this thing any minute!

It took a bit longer to wiggle myself into, but my Halloween dress still fits, so I must not have gotten that much bigger, right?

I bought a belly-slimming jump suit because I thought it was mostly my tummy and thighs that were getting a little chubby. But it won't stretch far enough to snap... guess I didn't notice how much extra butt I seem to have gotten

Oh. That weird sensation is hip fat touching thigh fat and bouncing into belly fat. I stopped paying attention for a couple days, I blame the restaurant that accidentally gave me two full cheesecakes