chapter 4

Jenna began walking home, having made the decision that the day's activities had sufficed, and that she deserved a break at home. She caught the bus just as she rounded the corner, seeing the bus pulling up to the stop, she awkwardly jogged after it, stepping into the warm vehicle just a little out of breath. The bus dropped her off conveniently within the enticing yellow glow originating from the golden arches that matched the ones on her card. She stood there seemingly trying to absorb some sort of sustenance solely from the light that was being emitted by the restaurant's sign. Her stomach growled in anger as she began walking away from the tempting building, remembering that her budget left her with no money leftover for the day.

'God this is ridiculous, I'm sooo hungry' Jenna silently complained to herself as she walked toward her apartment, desperate to find anything to eat when she got home... the white rice and cheese that she had been spared the previous evening would likely have to suffice. 'Here I am, the American Dream, and you're screwing me!' Jenna thought in frustration as she reached her apartment. She was relieved to find her door frame free from unwelcome envelopes, desperate to avoid any sort of contact from the person who was trying to control her. She quickly fled into the warmth of her apartment, desperate for some relief from the cold.


"Wooo! Alright! Cheesy Rice!" Jenna exclaimed as she clapped her hands a bit, once again trying to make herself believe she was excited about the meal. Jenna opened her cupboard finding a single bag of rice along with some salt and pepper and an almost empty bag of flour. She then opened her fridge to find nothing but a few condiments and a pack of cheese. She opened the pack of cheese and removed one of the two remaining slices. She immediately reached her hand back in and grabbed the second one, her rational being that shed have nothing to eat it with anyway.

Jenna boiled the personal sized bag of rice and then topped it with the cheese using the heat of the rice to melt the cheese a bit. 'Yummy! A meal fit for a princess!' Jenna thought sarcastically, annoyed that she had to experience such unbearable want. She topped the cheesy rice with some salt and pepper and grabbed a glass of water, taking a seat on her couch across from her TV. She selected a show and began watching it as she took the first bite of her culinary creation that really belonged on some shitty "food porn" forum rather than actually being eaten. 'Eh, it's not half bad...' Jenna thought as she tasted the cheesy flavored rice. It definitely wasn't something she would eat given almost any other option, but it also wasn't gross.

After finishing the meager meal Jenna sat there trying to focus on the show she had picked. Instead stressed out thoughts of failure, of hunger, and of need bounced around her head. 'God I'm such a screw up, I couldn't even hold down a job for more than a year!' Jenna thought as she began to cry, her emotions getting the best of her. 'And I'm just so hungry!' She reclined her chair dramatically as she rolled over in it, literally wallowing around in self pity. Jenna continued to toss and turn as she tried to stave off the impending dread of being unemployed with no safety net. "Just because my parents SHOULD be able to pay for my college, doesn't mean they CAN!" Jenna screamed in anger, frustrated by the fact that she'd been denied any sort of aid for college, which was the reason she had needed to work so hard in the first place. Jenna sobbed occasionally as she lay in the fetal position on her couch, clutching at her stomach as it growled more and more as the hours went on. 'I swear to god normal people's stomachs just don't growl like this!' she thought as she heard the unbelievable force with which her small tummy demanded food. Jenna couldn't fall asleep, in part because of the stress and partially because of the hunger that had been gaining momentum. She lay there in the dark apartment staring blankly at the screen that read "Are you still watching?". The scene resembled one from a thriller movie just before the suburban housewife snaps and turns serial killer, the moment filled with enough stress to send most people over the edge, especially an inexperienced, overwhelmed, hungry, and desperate 19 year old.

"Screw it!" Jenna suddenly broke the silence as she quickly stood from the couch. "I have to get something to eat right now!" Jenna said to herself, trying to reinforce the short sighted choice to her more rational side. Jenna quickly grabbed her purse and put on her jacket and shoes and headed out the door, determined to satisfy her hunger. She walked at a decent pace toward the thankfully 24 hour McDonald's she had been frequenting. 'I'll just let this money last as long as possible, and then we'll go from there!' Jenna thought, having to toss the budget out the window in order to make the binge she was mentally gearing up for work. Jenna threw the door to the restaurant open as she walked inside, ready to eat to her heart's content.
As the counter came into view Jenna silently cursed in her mind upon seeing the same skinny girl from the day before.

"Hi there, what can I get for you?" Jenna winced at the word's, and the familiarity that she could detect in the girl's tone.
'Of course she remembers me, the girl who had stuffed her face and then took extra home, presumably to stuff it some more!' Jenna thought, assuming the worst. She tried to brush the thought aside and focus on the order that she had prepared in her head on the way over.

"Hi! Yea, I'll take 6 cheese burgers, 2 McChickens, 2 Large Fries, a Chicken Salad with extra ranch, a Large drink, an apple pie, and if I pay for an ice cream now, can I pick it up when I'm done eating?" Jenna relayed the order and asked the question with such ease she surprised even herself. 'Good lord Jenna, what the hell was that?!' She thought to herself as she watched the girl furiously tapping the screen, trying to catch up to the enormous order that had just been talked at her.

"Okay.. let me repeat that back so we're sure we have everything..." the girl said, trying to control the sarcastic tone she wanted to place on a few of the words to let the plump girl across from her know that in no way shape or form was it okay for her to be eating all of that food. "We have 6 double cheese burgers, 2 McChickens, 2 Large Fries, a Chicken Salad - with extra ranch" The girl added with attitude "... a large drink, an apple pie, and you want to come pick up your ice cream cone when you finish your food, is that right?"

Jenna should have corrected the girl on the mistake she made switching the cheeseburgers she had ordered for double cheese burgers, instead she let it go, sensing the attitude the girl was giving her, and not wanting to trouble her any more.

"Yep. Perfect!" Jenna said faking a smile, secretly wanting to punch the girl in the face for being so rude.

"Sounds good, all that will come out to... $27.64 please!" The girl said quickly.

Jenna slid her the gift card without acknowledging the girl, just wanting to get out of the situation and eat her food.

After almost 10 minutes Jenna's number was called, the kitchen apparently needed a minute or two to prepare her feast. She eyed the heavily loaded tray with fear as she felt it's weight, knowing that all of the weight would be in her stomach by the time she stood again. She caught a glimpse of her plump form in the window, noticing the lack of the bulge in her tummy that had sparked the crazed fantasy she had had on the bus.

Jenna ate quickly at first, desperate to satisfy the hunger that had mounted within her. She ate most of the double cheeseburgers before she even touched anything else. The consistent pace had allowed her to avoid feeling any fullness as she finished her 5th burger. 'Gosh, my tummy's still got it!' Jenna thought, remembering the occasional mind boggling binge she had stuffed past her mouth in high school, during particularly stressful times. It was no wonder she was turning back to the binging now, the most stressed she had ever been. It was her respite, her escape. Whilst binging she thought about nothing but the taste of the food, and the feeling in her stomach, which allowed her to let go and simply enjoy the pleasure that she had associated with the activity through countless binge-induced masturbation frenzies. Truthfully, she had always been quite the hedonist. She dreaded work and loved to lounge around and enjoy the simpler things in life. Which is why college had been so hard for her, it had been nothing but work.

Jenna left one cheeseburger standing as she tackled the McChickens, the new flavor and texture exciting her as she chewed. She finished the sandwiches just as her stomach began to ache. The aching prompted her to sit there and slowly snack on fries, which had long since become cold, the incredible surface area of the thin salty fries causing them to lose heat quickly. She chewed on the mushy salty potatoes as she absentmindedly rubbed her full stomach, trying to digest some of the sandwiches she had just devoured. After around 20 minutes of slow snacking she was able to again pick up pace slightly, as she began eating the salad, covering it with the extra dressing she had ordered. The salad disappeared rather quickly as Jenna was able to stomach the light lettuce rather easily compared to the heavy bread that sat in her belly. She finished her salad and turned back to the fries, polishing off the remainder of the 2nd fry as she sat back in the booth, her stomach poking out in front of her, stretching the waist band of the pencil skirt that she was still wearing.