chapter 7

Kenneth had been hanging around more and more. Everyone knew Kenneth and Bianca were dating. I hated it. Bianca was staying out later and doing less work around the house. Then all she had to do was get Kenneth to talk to my dad and she'd be off the hook. 'We were just studying,' he'd say. I hope they used a condom.

But, in all honesty, I wasn't 100 percent sure Bianca was giving up her purity. However, I kind of wanted to get rid of mine. I wanted to tell Caz the way I felt about his body. It felt weird, but I wanted him to know.

"Bianca, have you been deflowered?" I had to know. It was driving me crazy. She sat up in her bed and looked at me. She looked at me like I had asked her something I shouldn't have. I guess I shouldn't have been so forward...

"None of your business Wade." She stood up, strutted over to me by the door, and slammed it right in my face. ***! I didn't want a Kenneth Myers' nephew! I didn't want Bianca to make a decision she was going to regret.

I could ask Kenneth, but I just didn't want to talk to him if I don't have to. He'd be even worse than Bianca. In AP English I asked Cazimir what I should do. He told me I had to trust Bianca's decision and that she could handle herself. What did he know? He had two older brothers, not a little sister.

About a month after that Sunday dinner I told Caz what I had been thinking about his body. It was awful, not his reaction, but how difficult it was to actually say. He sat there for a bit, thinking about it. Thinking. Thinking. Thinking. "Oh, well, that's cool I guess," he responded after three lifetimes.

That was embarrassing. He thought it was cool? I pushed a bit further. "Is that, like, a problem?" I asked. He shook his head and smiled.

"I thought I had to lose a few, but I see you like it..." I smiled awkwardly and he kissed me. I kissed him.

Caz took off his shirt and hopped in the bed with me. I was spending the night at his house and we slept in the same bed whenever we had sleepovers. It wasn't the roomiest of arrangements, but I loved feeling his body next to mine.

He kissed me again and I ended up on top of him. I straddled his waist and I had a hand on each side of his belly.

"What do you like about this?" he asked. "I wanna know." I could sense he was turned on by this and that made me feel less like a freak. I could feel he had a boner as it pressed into my butt.

"You're so big and adorable." He laughed. "I...I don't know if you know this or not, but you look really happy when you eat. And that makes me happy too."

"Eating is something we all do well in this house." He moved his hips a little bit more. My boner was clearly outlined in my shorts. It was obscene. I could see him looking at it. I got the feeling he was gauging my reactions by how stiff I was getting. "I don't plan to stop eating, Wade. I like food, always have, always will." My penis pulsated and then we heard someone walk past his room. I hopped off of him and hit the floor.

"Maybe that's enough for tonight," I said breathlessly. I stood up.

"Yeah," he agreed, pulling me back into the bed. He was the big spoon. And even though we agreed it'd be for the best to stop, I could feel he was still incredibly hard. He kissed my neck and we talked for what felt like hours. And I was almost...almost...deflowered.

I was hoping that one night we could be alone to do something I wouldn't want anyone overhearing. I turned to face him, my hand rested on his belly and I felt it rise and fall as he inhaled and exhaled. I could tell he was smiling. His skin felt nice and he was warm. "Do you really like this?" he asked again.

"Yeah, I do," I responded. I did, and I didn't exactly think it was normal, but hell, liking guys wasn't considered "normal." If I wanted Caz to get a bit larger it was just like a girl wanted her boyfriend to be super ripped.

"Cool," he said. He loved the word cool. "I've never felt the best looking before I met you. I was always really big compared to other guys my age and it was really awful." I couldn't believe he felt not ***ing incredible looking.

"You being bigger is like...it's like this awesome thing that makes me horny as ***, but makes me think other people notice you, notice how strong you look. And it's weird, but it makes me feel good that people notice you when you step into a room."

"What if I get bigger?" I could still feel his breathing. "Is that something that would still be attractive? If I got bigger would I be too big?" I hadn't suggested that, feeling my first confession was too much for one night.

"I...I don't know," I lied, almost completely sure I'd like it.

"Would you like that, seriously...me getting bigger?" He pulled me tighter into his body. I could feel his warm body. I could hear him breathing even more clearly. I loved being close to someone. It was a wonderful feeling.

The butterflies had returned and I had to breathe more slowly. "I would like that. I would like to see you get even larger...and, uh,...sexier."

"I love you," he said with a slight chuckle.

"I love you too," I replied. I meant it. I was in love with Cazimir and I wanted him to get larger. I didn't know how we were going to go about the whole thing, but we were young, and we had time to learn about one another and to...grow.