chapter 7

Naomi had eaten more than Becca normally made her, but this time she was completely alone. She would compulsively eat for almost any reason, but the combination of loneliness and frustration wouldn’t let her stop. She hadn’t gone long without eating since she’d woken up, but now that Becca has gone without any kind of explanation, she was eating like she couldn’t get it in her mouth fast enough. She’d always had self image issues. She did have partners leave her because of her weight and now she had a girl who was beautiful and adored her body and she was afraid she’d done something to ruin it.

It was almost midnight and she had held out hope that maybe Becca would come back. Naomi felt awful. She felt like her stomach was about to explode and somehow she still felt like there was this hole that needed filled and she kept eating. She didn’t know what else to do.

Eventually, she fell asleep as flashes from the tv illuminated the room. Her dreams were never particularly strange. Usually she just dreamed about eating. She was sitting on a park bench, playing an acoustic guitar. She missed being able to play. She hadn’t been able to in a few years, because of her weight. She was singing to, something she couldn’t do without getting out of breath. She felt like something was missing. It took her a moment to realize what it was. She was thin. As thin as Becca. She set the guitar aside and began frantically touching over every inch of her body. There weren’t even any stretch marks. She could actually feel her ribs, which was something she could never remember being able to do. She sat back on the bench and laughed. Then she heard Becca speak.

“C’mon, play me another song.”

Naomi missed her so much, she didn’t hesitate to grab her and kiss her. She was different, though. Becca was fat. As fat Naomi was. Her clothes didn’t fit and soft fat bulged out of everywhere. She was sweating and looked like just the act of sitting there was too exerting. Her face had changed so much, Naomi only recognized her by her voice and eyes. Naomi examined Becca’s body and didn’t say anything. She had one thought in her head,”Am I really that fat?”

“Is something wrong?” Becca asked.

Naomi blinked, hoping she’d go back to normal, but it seemed like every time she did, Becca looked even fatter.”Nothing, I just...”

Becca smiled and leaned into Naomi with all her weight. Naomi couldn’t breath and she said,”Do you mind if we leave, baby? It’s getting so hot out here.”

Becca got up and let her breath. Naomi felt hot all over. She’d never felt better in her whole life. Naomi has never been attracted to fat women, but the way Becca was pressing down on her. She didn’t even wait for an answer, Becca just grabbed her by her shirt and pulled her up.

As they walked, Becca wrapped her strong, heavy arm around Naomi and pulled her up. Every once in a while, Naomi would spank her or insult her about how weak and skinny she was. Naomi already liked being teased, but this version of Becca was taking it to the extreme. When they got to Naomi’s apartment, Becca picked her up and kissed her. Then she threw her onto the couch and lied on top her. Naomi couldn’t breath again. She tried to talk but she couldn’t. Becca kissed her and squeezed Naomi’s wrists. The feeling of being helpless, being crushed and the fact that it was Becca doing it to her. Then, she felt nothing. She heard a small, high pitched noise. She could feel it coming from within herself as it got louder. She tried to hold onto the fading world around her, but the noise was pulling her out of it. She violently woke up. She heard the noise one last time as she lied on the couch. Her heart was racing and she was completely soaked in her own sweat. She realized what had happened. That noise was herself moaning and she realized why the dream felt so euphoric.

She checked the time. It was 3:00 P.M., but she still tried to fall asleep again. She wanted to experience all that again, but she couldn’t force herself to sleep. She got up and thought about that dream. She needed to experience that again. She thought about how she could realistically do that. The first step was to lose about two-hundred and fifty pounds. The next step was to try to make Becca fat. She didn’t even know how she was going to accomplish it.

Just the thought of it started to bring her back to that place. She decided she wasn’t going to wait. She was going to start eating less and she was going to try and exercise. She’d figure out the part with Becca later. She skipped breakfast, which wasn’t hard since she didn’t have a single thing in her refrigerator, and walked down to the park.

She immediately remembered how much she hated being fat, since she was already out of breath and her shirt and shorts didn’t fit at all. She had only walked two blocks and she was thinking about jogging a mile. Then, thinking about exercise and getting thin stopped making her feel good. In fact she felt worse than ever. She sat down on a bench and tried to catch her breath. She sighed and placed her head hands.

Somebody sat next to her and she felt like that was her cue to leave, but before she did, she heard them say,”What are you doing here all alone?”

It was Becca. Naomi hugged her tightly and started kissing her and saying,”I’m sorry.”

Naomi was completely ignorant to the fact that Tommy was behind them, but Becca was and pushed her off and shouted,”Dammit, stop!”

Naomi apologized again and walked away. Becca wanted to say something to her, but at this point she wasn’t sure what she could say. She really didn’t know how to make any of this work. She still wanted her classmates to think she was “normal”

Tommy put his hand on Becca’s shoulder and asked,”Is there something you wanna tell me?”