chapter 3

Then she returned to her spiritual development circle, where, during her meditation, she met her guide again. This time they travelled beyond the garden, through a wooded area and into a crystal cave.
Afterwards, they made an attempt at automatic writing and psychic art. No one in the group was particularly good at it. Gail’s writing was only a scribble and her artwork looked like it had been made by a five year old child.
Nevertheless, she enjoyed the experience and she had been in the company of like minded people. As she left the building and crossed the road to the car, her stomach grumbled. She ignored it. As she climbed into the driver’s seat she remembered how hungry she had been the week before. Tonight she felt ravenous!
She had nothing to eat in the car. No ‘travel sweets’ that rattled in their little tin. No half forgotten cough sweets at the bottom of her bag, covered in bits of fluff and paper.
On her way home, all the shops were shut. The further she drove, the hungrier she became.
At last! She found somewhere that was open. A late night garage selling fuel, with a small convenience store attached. She stopped and ventured within. There was not a great deal of choice, plenty of snacks though. Normally she would be turned off by what was on offer, but today she wanted everything!
Exactly what went into her basket was all a bit of a blur. The next thing she remembered was crossing the forecourt with a carrier bag full.
She turned out her wares on her kitchen bench when she got home. At first she felt ashamed for buying the stuff. It was all rubbish with no nutritional value. Plenty of crisps, biscuits, chocolate bars and sweets. Then suddenly, an excitement grew within her, she smiled gruesomely and before she knew it, the first crisp packet was open and she was pushing the contents into her mouth.
The next morning, she came downstairs to see the results of her binge. There was nothing left inside the bag and the empty wrappers were strewn everywhere. She felt ashamed and quickly tidied up.
Then she made her breakfast. One single weetabix with milk and no sugar. She was still hungry! How could she be after everything she’d eaten last night? She ignored the feeling and got on with getting ready for work. By the time she parked the car, she could not think of anything else except her hunger. She called in to the shop over the road and bought four croissants. They did not come in anything smaller. She thought she could have one and give the rest away. She returned to her car to eat it, secretly. She did not want people to know she had strayed off her very strict diet.
By the time Gail reached her desk, all four croissants were gone. Her hunger had dissipated, but the effect was only temporary. By mid-morning she was hungry again. She sneaked a quick chocolate bar from the vending machine.
As last week, the small salad she had made for her lunch did not satisfy her. She was so hungry she could not sit at her desk all afternoon without something else to eat. She paid a visit to the canteen to see if there was anything healthy to tide her over. She’d had enough rubbish today, thank you very much!
But just like when she was at the garage last night, her mind clouded over when she was in the queue. The veil of mist cleared when she was seated with her tray in front of her. There were two plates in front of her. The largest with a mountain of mince pie, chips, peas and gravy, the smallest had a large serving of some kind of stodgy pudding smothered in yellow custard. She could not possibly eat all this! This was portions for a giant! Then she picked up her knife and fork and started to eat. At first, she ate daintily, aware of all the familiar faces around her who were bound to be watching. Then she heard a voice inside her head telling her to shovel it in. Her forkfuls became larger, she ate quicker. She stopped thinking about the people around her and continued eating until the whole lot, including the mystery pudding was gone.
Now she was stuffed full! She sat back in her chair and took a deep breath. Her waistband felt tight. That meal was surely see her through the rest of the day. It contained enough calories to keep her going for two days! Tonight, she’d just have a sandwich for her tea.
The satisfaction was only temporary. She sneaked half a dozen biscuits from the coffee room when she was making drinks for everyone. Then she stopped off at the drive in burger place on the way home. Something she had never ever done before. She thought the waitress might think her odd placing an order just for one person. She might think she was a sad and lonely spinster. She placed an order for two instead, just so that the waitress thought she had a husband waiting for her at home.
She should not have done that. She should have thrown the extra portion away when she got home, but she didn’t. She just sat down, put the telly on and started to eat. She didn’t bother with plates, she simply ate directly out of the packaging. After downing one cheeseburger, half a large portion of fries and half a large chocolate shake, she was feeling full, but she did not stop eating. She finished the fries and the shake, but started to struggle. She felt so stuffed! She leaned back on the sofa, gave a groan as she felt her belly. Her clothing was too tight and getting in the way, so she removed the offending articles, pulled the throw down from the back of the sofa and covered her legs, then picked up the second burger and started eating again.
She squeezed in the second burger and a few fries and even forced down a hot apple pie. Oh! That was enough! She had such a pain across her belly, she leaned even further back, clinging on to her belly as any movement made it even more painful. Her breathing came in short gasps, beads of sweat gathered on her forehead. She closed her eyes, zoning out for five minutes. As soon as she opened them again, her hand reached for more fries.