chapter 1

*The Old Witch is in the cafeteria of a large commercial building with 3 trays of food in front of her*

Witch: Hello there kiddies, your fat girl is just having a little snack before the grand finale later heeheehee. Have I got a tale full of fat for you today.

*Witch leans down and pulls an old story book from under the creaking bench*

W: Office life can be boring for many. For a man such as Hugh Sommers, it can be downright detestable. However when a new secretary catches his eye, he suddenly has a reason to come to work....and at work for that matter heeheehee. I call this delectable feast, BAD GIRL, FAT GIRL.



*Hugh Sommers looks up at the Johannes Vagner Skyscraper that was almost as tall as the Empire State Building. He worked on the 40th floor which was one hell of a trek up the stairs if the elevator was out. He was 35 years old, 5'8 and 140 pounds and was Vice President of Hiring because his college buddy Peter Giacardi just happened to be president. Back in college Hugh tutored and mentored Peter and Peter felt he owed him one when his natural charm and charisma took him to the top of Vagner Incorporated in less than 15 years. Not that Peter wasn't intelligent, he just had a very dry sense of humor and deadpan delivery that people couldn't tell when he was joking or not. On the surface he was an ordinary Joe and he prided himself on staying out of the spotlight. He also had a taste in women only Peter and his parents knew about, fat women. Ever since he was a child he always liked big, voluptuous women. Because he worked all the time, finding time to go out with women over the years was a chore and more often than not, things wouldn't work out.

Hugh: Another day of hell.

*Hugh walked into the building and said hi to Willie the security guard before crowding into the elevator. He got off on the 40th floor and the office was bustling with activity*

Hugh: Now what?

*Hugh into the office and the first person to greet him was David, the portly Sales chairman*

David: Hugh, didja hear the news?

Hugh: Obviously not, I just got here, you buffoon.

David: Stocks went up 20%. Mr. Giacardi pulled off purchasing the Paco Account.

Hugh: That's just absolutely wonderful.

*Because of the deadpan delivery, David had no idea if he was being sarcastic or not*

David: Right...anyway the boss wants to see you.

*Hugh walked to the end of the office and noticed the empty secretary chair outside Peter's office*

Hugh: The hell?

*Hugh knocked on the door when Peter let him in while on the phone. Hugh sat in a nearby chair as Peter continued his call. Peter was 5'8 and 200 pounds with balding hair*

Peter: Yes, Mr. Brady....everything is going according to plan. Don't worry about it, the purchase went through. For the eighth time, we have it under control. Goodbye!

*Peter hung up the phone and sighed*

Peter: Even when things go right everyone's always worried around here. They think I'm Jordan Belfort or something. If I wasn't already losing my hair, this Paco purchase would have done it.

Hugh: You wanted to see me Peter?

Peter: Yes, yes. Grace retired and we need a new secretary.

Hugh: Well it was about time, if someone told her to act her age she would have turned to dust.

*Because of his deadpan delivery, Peter had no idea of he was joking or insulting*

Peter: Yes well, you're the VP of hiring so head down to the 30th floor to pick a new one.

Hugh: Anyone in particular I should be on the lookout for?

Peter: I don't know! That's YOUR job to find someone, pick anyone, I don't care.

Hugh: I'm going to pick the fattest fat girl I can find.

*Peter had a confused look on his face because he wasn't sure if Hugh was serious*

Peter: Whatever, just make sure she can type.

*Hugh walked out the door smiling*

Peter: He's not serious is he? Oh god he is.....