Chapter 2 - slight changes

The change in you was slow but evident. Little by little, you sense of worth melted away your anxieties. At first it was your positivity toward others that was evident. Your friends would call just to feel uplifted by your energy. You held your head high, and always had something relieving to say in even the most trying of situations.

But your new confidence also had other effects. Slow burning, lasting effects. I didn’t notice at first, but toward the end of your 3rd month I recall the freezer was empty. The cream, the berries that would usually be there for dessert on the last day before payday were not in their drawer. The profriterols were gone, when normally there would be 4 left. Your confidence had melted away your fears and with that, your appetite was slowly beginning to be unleashed.


The months rolled by and you got your first pay cheque. It was small, and not reflective of the hours you’d put in, but it was the first time in nearly a year you had an income. You were torn about keeping it. You wanted to donate it all back to your own organisation. I said you could do with it as you pleased, and besides, We’d just bought you some new clothes with my bonus. You smiled and hugged me and skipped off to get changed.

Watching you leave the room it caught my attention that you looked different from the picture of us on the table by the doorframe. Softer? Maybe. Plusher. That was it. You were more womanly. Maybe it was the new clothes. They were more formal as you may need them for public functions.

I took advantage of the time you were in the back to take stock of the fridge: were we really up to 6 pints of cream a month now? Also, where had those half finished donuts come from on the counter? I’d seen the logo before on a bag in the trash. We mostly did bulk shopping to watch the budget, but there was room for occasional treats I guess.

It was one year on from you starting your work and the snow had started to fall again. Piled high on the street corners and grey with the dirt from the traffic, it made walking to work hard I agree. Besides – the boss was always happy to lend their driver, our place, was after all on the way back from where he dropped her kids at school.

Hadn’t you also been driven during the autumn? October and November had been unseaonably warm and dry but I dont recall you putting on your walking shoes since we came back from Seneca after labor day.

Maybe I missed it? Maybe you were walking in your kitten heels? Who cared, I was happier than ever. We were closer than ever. Why did I care that you werent walking to work for a few weeks?
You were on a more regular pay now – again not a lot, but enough for us to eat out Sundays and for me not to have to keep count of the comings and goings in the fridge. It was a good job too as I’m sure that we were buying a box of half and half every 2 days.

Your boss was throwing out a blender, and smoothies were your favorite. Was it me or you who suggested to use the half and half, usually for your am coffee, to make them a bit tastier? We never bought milk these days so it just consolidated coffee baking and smoothies to less fridge space. NY kitchens are small so, saving space was good!