Chapter 1 - holiday time again

Feast and fast, feast and fast. That's how our lives go.

I’ve been with you for ten years and watched you blossom.

It’s feast time again, every year the chair arms get closer: aren’t I the one who’s supposed to lean?

For me today is a feast , for you it’s every day. My queen, sitting and feasting. Indulging: enough? It’s never enough.

Heavier, softer, sedentary and happier. I know you feel it.

We’ve never spoken of it, but you are three times the woman I first met. Through ups and downs everything about you has been up.

Softer, greedier. Month by month your capacity increases. You sit, you lean, you ask for more. It’s now never enough.

These are my thoughts today as we prepare for the holidays.

When we first met, you were young, active, always watching what passed your lips. Not at all my usual type, but something about you was irresistible. I remember the first time we were in bed together, you pale skin in the moonlight from the open window, you concaved stomach and small breasts. Barely 100lbs, light in my arms, fragile in my grip. But yet, you were irresistible.

I never mentioned my preferences, you never mentioned your past.
The class cow? Was that what they called you?

I struggled to find you in your class picture hung in your family living room.

You’d taken me to meet the parents. You hadn’t lived there since graduating high school.

Over lemonade I perused the walls, imagining a younger you to be visible somewhere. But you were nowhere to be found.

If it weren’t for your stunning lagoon coloured eyes I would never have noticed.

You were big! Where had it all gone?

Diets, college, denial of pleasure.

3 months later, you were being fitted for your wedding dress. 51kg on the gym scale – you didn't seem to mind 4 extra lbs.

The wedding day: the glass smashed, people danced and for the first time in our live I saw you enjoy eating.

The honey moon, you were a woman unleashed. You ate and loved without reservation.

Growing: you were growing! I suppressed the joy when your blossoming began.

You did it all to yourself. It started with desert, then elevensies, then afternoon tea.

Your gym emailed our joint account: Rejoining Special! - when did you stop going?

And so you grew. Heavy, soft, round. Your whole body filling with glorious feminine fat.

You let yourself go? No, you brought yourself back.

Now here you are, 330lbs of glorious, demanding, strong, confident woman.

Enough?

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