Chapter 2 - road to 260

hitting 200lbs would’ve been a wake up call for anyone. anyone but me. i had completely abandoned any type of weight loss plan, but i didn’t expect myself to gain about 150lbs over the course of 2 years.

after a semester of online courses, i dropped out of college. i stayed at home for the first three months of the year, doing absolutely nothing. i continued to gain weight, even without heavy amounts of binge eating. i felt like i had no control over my weight, like i was just helplessly swelling up. however, my parents eventually forced me to get a job, so i did. i started working at my local mcdonalds, which only ended up in me fattening myself up even more.

i started eating monstrous portions of food at work and at home. i would lie to my parents about not eating anything at work, only so i could have a second dinner. the effects of my gluttony didn’t take long to manifest themselves. my ass was getting wider and heavier and so were my legs. i couldn’t walk without them rubbing on each other constantly. my work uniform was getting tighter and tighter. however, my body still had its hourglass shape, which is why i didn’t care too much about my gain. my waist was still small and my belly was easily concealable.

one day at work, as i bent down to pick something off the floor, my pants ripped. i was so embarrassed that i ended up quitting my job.

summer came and i was about 220lbs. i didn’t want to go outside or move out of bed. but one day, my friend invited me out, and i couldn’t say no. i’ll always remember the look on her face when she saw me. i was wearing jeans and a cropped sweater, which kept riding up and exposing a roll of fat. i was so jealous to see that she had actually gotten fitter during the pandemic while i had ballooned. we used to try diets and workout routines together which is crazy to think about now. we went out to eat that day and i had never felt so exposed.

college started again, and this time it was on campus. i definitely noticed how much heavier i was as i carried my body from class to class. the worst part about getting back to school was seeing some of my old classmates from high school. i felt very embarrassed.

but it wasn’t all bad: my roommate was actually just as big as me which made me feel good. we immediately clicked and we often went out to eat and hid a bunch of junk food in our room. my eating habits were horrendous and i inevitably swelled up even more.

by the time winter break came i was over 260lbs. my stomach was starting to expand a lot more. for a while i had tried convincing myself that i was just “thick” or “curvy”, but the more my belly grew, the harder it was to escape the reality that i was simply fat.