The Repressed Feedee

Chapter 1

I was inspired to write this based on the post @thehandthatfeeders (tumblr) made about your path to becoming a feedee. This is loosely based on the repressed feedee section - however the feedee in question of course…gets fat.

I hope that what my little deviant mind came up with is at least a palatable read haha. Here goes nothing!

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The bus engine roared as it began the laborious climb up the hill. You sat wondering if the new driver has been warned about the bumps and potholes the city has yet to fill. You hope so. For the sake of the rather plump woman loosely holding her coffee cup, scrolling on her phone. Her blouse was snug, very snug, you could see her soft gut poking over her belt. If she kept drinking those fancy coffee’s she might need a new wardrobe. Bahhduhm the bus lurched up and down as it cleared a pothole. You looked over preparing to duck for cover from scalding coffee, but no. A Thoooomp! and a clatter could be heard over the roar of the engine as the woman’s belt buckle snapped against her girth. The woman went red and began to furiously readjust all while trying to pretend nothing had happened. You felt your face grow red. You felt a warmth and a throb between your thighs. Nipples puckered in their cups. “Look away, no, bad! push it down!” you tell yourself. The bus pulls over and you realize its your stop. Saved by the bell.

You walked inside your apartment and changed into your pajamas. Sitting on the couch you slowly and begin to feast into your sad neatly little meal-prepped dinner. Carefully counting calories with these bland little meals had allowed you to indulge when you had your…moments of weakness. Your mind drifted as you ate and the thought of the woman on the bus, how her belt burst, how her belly jiggled and plopped onto her lap. It just wouldn’t leave your mind’s eye. You set your dinner aside. Grabbed your laptop and your emergency oreos and logged in. 5 windows open all of them containing bellies. Male, female, the athletes who had turned to fat, the stuffings, the mutuals pushing each other to new jiggling heights …your fingers slipped between your thighs….you feel sweat trickle down your forehead as you begin to heave as wave after wave cascades throughout your body. You catch your breath and sit in relaxed bliss and shame at yet another moment of weakness. How many days in a row had it been now? it was was becoming easy.

Half of your treat stash had been emptied on that binge. You felt the shame of it as you put the rest back in your hiding place. Laying in bed you thought “if it’s out of site it’ll be out of mind”. Warmth sets in and you feel your body grow heavy. Your bed is soft…pillows soft…blanket soft…in the halfway point between consciousness and dream state you reach to your midriff “Soft”.

A table of cakes, cookies, ice cream, and all the deserts sits before you. A smiling man with a large soft belly holds out a cupcake. His smile makes you feel weak and sight of his softness makes you want to jiggle every inch of him. A woman holds out another cupcake you look to see that its you, fat you, “give in” you say in a dreamy voice “give in, this is what you want truly” you look at this new version of you. Clad in a sky blue bra and panties, bosoms bulged hardly containable. A roll of fat jiggled just underneath. Arms displayed nothing but pillowy softness. A double chin accented your jawline. With trepidus anticipation you look down to see a bulging belly spilling over the lace panties rippling with decadent softness like the frosting of a cupcake. The high cut in the thighs accented the soft width of expansive dimpled flesh. You took the cupcake and began to eat with an indiscriminate gusto. You finished and looked back up but fat you was gone. The fat man was still smiling as you looked down. Shock took as your line of site was filled by two massive breasts, a round gut extended out, your feet were gone.

You gasped and jolted awake. You looked down and saw your normal frame. Thin but slightly flabby, your waist was back to its normal size and undefined appearance. The sun was up and you made coffee while trying to shake off your dream. “It didn’t mean anything” you repeated on your way to the gym. “It didn’t mean anything” as you laced your shoes. You walked to the ellipticals “It didn’t mean any—” your thought was cutoff at the sight of two men side by side, each bouncing on every step as they gently pushed their ellipticals. Barely exerting. They were so caught up in what they were talking about to care about the lack of exercise on their soft bodies. The larger of the two had soft chubby cheeks you hoped went well appreciated. You climbed on your elliptical and started to huff and puff. 30 minutes later, sweating and miserable, you decided you had inflicted enough torture on yourself. Stretching your hamstrings at the nearby railing you looked over and caught the two men leaving happily, smoothies in hand. Likely undoing any exercise they had actually had. Yet they looked happy. So happy.

You showered off, left the gym and started your drive home, smoothie in hand. Just a small indulgence to reward a workout….you earned it. You remembered that you needed a new sports bra and diverted to the mall. The smoothie had been a nice treat and the crisp air on your face felt like another reward as you walked into your least favorite place, the mall. As you walked the display in Lane Bryant caught your eye. You felt your jaw drop as you saw a plus size mannequin displaying the same sky blue bra and panty set from your dream. It was surreal. You walked in and found the set in your size. “This doesn’t mean anything, its just a cute set” you said as you closed the dressing room door. You put in on, in disbelief with what you were actually doing, heart pounding you looked in the mirror and felt a bolt of lightning hit. It seemed to lovingly accentuate your figure, somehow making you look fuller than you were. Visions of last night crept back into your mind and you began to feel the same throbbing.

The checker handed you your bag and quickly left the store. You raced home, it felt like the short drive took ages. Upon arrival you rushed inside and changed. The same feeling struck you as you looked in your mirror now safely at home and fully free to be as self indulgent as you wanted. You loved how good you felt and looked. How the fabric seemed to accentuate every curve you had. Something deep seeded seemed to gush and your cheeks ran red as stare at yourself. You pictured your fat self before quickly pushing her away. “It doesn’t mean anything, just a dream” you took a breath and closed your eyes. Your thoughts drifted to the ice cream in fridge and your willpower began to drown with urges for self indulgence. You opened the carton still in your brand new underwear and began eating spoonful after spoonful as you lurked the corners of the web. Only this time was different. It had to be. You felt compelled and walked back to the mirror and took a picture of yourself, a little bloated, cropped out your face and uploaded. You began to scroll through belly after belly, swallowing spoonful after spoonful. When you heard a DING. Someone had commented on your photo “nice starter belly ;)”. Your thighs trembled as the throbbing began. You swallowed the ice cream and began to stroke. You were right on the precipous when another commented “oooh squishy!” nirvana hit you as you moaned.

Each day was the same now. You woke up and tried to suppress the feelings of the prior night but the sight of the blue lingerie set in a heap triggered something in you. Your emergency treat stash was ravenously emptied. Refilled. Emptied again. Refilled only doubled and subsequently emptied. You had had enough and decided that you simply had to buy in bulk and went to Costco. Your emergency snack stash took over the pantry. It was just your daily treats. You needed them. Guilty pleasures that became guiltier and guiltier as your gym outfits got pushed further to the back of the closet. A treat was a good reward for the gym after all but then it simply became a reward for whatever you wanted. “It doesn’t mean anything, its just a treat”.

You slipped on your freshly washed lingerie set and walked to the mirror to check yourself out once more. You felt frisky again, perhaps another photo upload. Your breasts popped and bounced in their cups straining the fabric as you bounced from heel to toe. They we’re the only thing bouncing. You saw as a quick ripple make its way around your belly button and began to note just how tight the panties felt. Your belly button had a new narrower squashed look to it. Your waist band dug in all around. “Did they shrink?” you wondered. You snapped a picture anyway and posted as you enjoyed a chocolate chip cookie ice cream sandwich. The likes began to pour in “Nice gain!!” “Someone’s been eating….” “getting soft!” …..you paused “gain? soft?…no they just shrunk!”. You looked down and felt struck by lightning as the sight of soft flesh spilling over your waist band filled your vision. You tried hiking the waistband but to no avail. Soft flesh poked over the blue fabric and jiggled with your every move. The vision of Fat You was in the forefront of your mind. You could see her clear as day in your minds eye. Fat You in the blue lingerie. She reached out a cupcake and said “give in”.