Chapter 1 - Day 000

today's current stats
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┊ ₊˚๑ weight: 114 lbs / 51.7 kg
┊ ₊˚๑ height: 5'8
┊ ₊˚๑ bmi: 17.3
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todays little lapse
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┊ ₊˚๑ today I had only a full tupperware bowl of lasagna but I'm about to eat the rest of the pan "( – ⌓ – ) because I've started to eat more my body has been getting hungrier in major quantities but minor time frames which might be a good sign! so far I'm just very excited at the thought my body really wants me to be hungry because I can eat whatever I want (and people have to suffer my hangry wrath which means being fed more >:) ). Ive been sleeping all day and only got up to eat but once I do that I'm going back to sleep again!! I cant be too active since I have work tomorrow,,,,but I'll eat there too and up my caffeine crazy!!
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current goals/objectives
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┊ ₊˚๑ weight goal: 200 lbs at LEAST
┊ ₊˚๑ mental goal: gain more self confidence
┊ ₊˚๑ friend goal: make at least 5 irl friends to
┊ ₊˚๑ play games/smoke/eat with once a week
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current goals/objectives expanded
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┊ ₊˚๑ weight goal: 200 lbs at LEAST
┊ ₊˚๑ I want to have gained at least half of 200 by the end of this year-or even a third if I'm lucky and eat enough... I have really high goals for myself and want to commit to them even if its a little delusional..
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current goals/objectives expanded
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┊ ₊˚๑ mental goal: gain more self confidence
┊ ₊˚๑ because I feel a deep calling to be bigger and I mentally feel bigger, being in such a small body actually drives my self esteem into the ground (¬_¬") and honestly it really sucks because I KNOW I should be bigger, everyone in my family is bigger too!! its like I'm being tested and I'm losing the less and less I eat yk??? but I wanna change that and have my outside match my inside! (ง'̀-'́)ง
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current goals/objectives expanded
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┊ ₊˚๑ friend goal: make at least 5 irl friends to
┊ ₊˚๑ play games/smoke/eat with once a week
┊ ₊˚๑ because I live in ny and where I am its pretty much a 30 minute ride to the city, I wanna meet people my age and actually talk, be friends, and play games together because its hard to make friends due to me being childish ( ;´ - `;) I wanna dabble in knowing other people and hanging out and going to hotpot and stuff!! ig this is more of a 'if you're reading' and you happen to be a girl/enby who's 19-23 in NY by all means text me i need more doll friends...if you're a dude also feel free but I have less inclination to respond lolol!!
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end of day 000
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