Feedmas

Chapter 1

Once upon a time, in a land far up north, where ice was icing, and snowflakes were sugar, there lived a young elf named Purplekirby. Everyday she worked her poor little fingers to the bone to make plenty of sweet treats for all the fat women that were good that year. Feedmas was soon around the corner and her workload had tripled this past month. Everyday she worked and worked with not even a thanks from Feeder Clause for all of her effort. Well, no more, she thought to herself. She had been forced to stare at the huge stockpile of candy all year and she knew just how to get her revenge.

Late that night she snuck back into the locked up warehouse where she had slaved away almost the whole year. Her eyes were wide and shining as all of the delicious sweets glimmered in the moonlight. Her mouth drooled as she hurried over to the corner where they stored the cotton candy. The cotton candy had been rolled into large hay bundles and tied with licorice. Purplekirby devoured them one by one, she slurped the tart licorice ropes like a spaghetti noodle, and then would proceed to shove handful after handful of sweet, sticky cotton candy into her mouth where it melted. Surprisingly, even after ingesting all of the cotton candy (ALL OF IT!) she wasn't full. Patting the small bulge of her tummy she moved onto her next target.

Next to the cotton candy were large containers of chocolate syrup and in the center a grand fountain spraying syrupy goodness in every direction. She grabbed one of the gallon jugs and leaned back with it in her mouth chugging away at the sweet nectar. Jug after jug were downed and eventually all that was left to tackle was the fountain. Her stomach was as large and as round as a beachball, for some reason her small elven body could consume mass quantities of food (it's magic, I ain't gotta explain shit). She rubbed it gently, it would be much bigger before the night was over. Waddling over to the fountain she jumped in creating a tidal wave like splash. She began swimming circles around the fountain spout with her mouth open. Letting it flow in her mouth and over her tongue. Purplekirby had never thought that revenge would taste so good.

When she was done she heaved herself out of the fountain dripping with chocolate. She took a finger and ran it across her belly and then licked the syrup off of it. Delicious but there was still half of a whole warehouse of candies to indulge herself in.

Purplekirby shuffled her small feet over to the other side of the warehouse where marvelous fruit chews hung from gingerbread trees. She couldn't quite reach the fruit so she pulled a taffy trampoline under the branches and began jumping to reach them. It was an incredible sight to see, the young, round elf hurtling through the air, swallowing the fruit whole, and then falling back down only to bounce and repeat the process. Once there was no fruit left she began working on the sweet mint leaves, and then a few gingerbread twigs and branches before her great weight was too much for the trampoline, which she ate as well.

The night went on, the only sounds were those of munching and snacking. In the morning, the other elves walked into the warehouse to see all of the sweets gone and in the middle sweet little purplekirby, not quite so little anymore. She might not be remembered as the elf that saved Feedmas, she thought to herself as she rubbed her belly (which was as big as the rest of her by this point), but at the same time, she couldn't give a ****!

----------------THE END-----------------

Merry Feedmas everyone!