Chapter 1 - cruel calories

(Location: CANDI’S room. Candi is sitting on six futons stacked double-wide and three deep. She has a dirty towel over her face and is too fat to remove it. Every so often she sobs softly, as though she’s been doing it for a long time and is tired.)

(The door opens and BRANDI enters. She has a huge pot in her hands, the kind you use to make stock or pasta for company. She carries it as if it is full and when she sets it down on the table, a white dribble of pasty, lumpy gravy slops over the lip. Brandi made it with flour, which is cheap, sugar, which is cheap, and lard, because she likes feeding Candi lard.)

BRANDI: (glares at Candi) I’m mad at you today.

CANDI: (sobs out loud)

(Brandi leaves the room. Candi continues to cry helplessly.)

(Brandi returns with a funnel, a ladle, and two family-sized packages of Oreos. She sets everything down on the table but one package of Oreos, then goes over to Candi and snatches the towel off her face.)

Brandi: LOOK AT ME! (She rips open the cellophane package and a handful of Oreos drop to the floor. Brandi crouches awkwardly and picks two off the floor and crams them directly into her mouth.)

Brandi: (spitting crumbs) YOU DID THIS TO ME YOU DID THIS TO ME LOOK AT ME! (she eats the rest of the cookies off the floor as fast as she can while staring venomously at Candi)

Candi: (still sobbing) I’m sorry, I’m sorry.

Brandi: (stands and goes to sit on a sturdy bench facing Candi and pushes two more cookies in her mouth) LIAR. You fucking LIAR. You hurt me on purpose and you know it.

Candi: I’m sorry, I swear, I never meant to —

Brandi: (swallows and stuffs more cookies into her mouth) I WEIGHED FOUR HUNDRED AND SEVEN POUNDS TODAY. (swallows and stuffs more cookies into her mouth)

(Candi begins hysterical, full-on ugly sobbing)

Brandi: (swallows and stuffs more cookies into her mouth, shouts over Candi) SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP OR I’LL MAKE YOU CRY FOR REAL YOU MADE ME WEIGH FOUR HUNDRED POUNDS I HATE YOU. (swallows and stuffs more cookies into her mouth)

(Candi tries to control her sobbing out of obvious fear)

Brandi: (swallows and stuffs more cookies into her mouth) You remember how you used to think it was cute to introduce me to everyone as ‘my big sister who’s two years younger than I am?’ When I told my people at Overeaters Anonymous how you used to apologize for fucking ABUSING me by giving me food and how you used to post pictures of me eating what you gave me on Facebook and Mom and Dad let you get away with it because they didn’t even know what Facebook was, they hated you. (swallows and stuffs more cookies into her mouth) I mean they HATED you. They know what you did to me. They can see it... (swallows and stuffs more cookies into her mouth) I wish I could tell them I got even. I wish I could show them what a REAL fatty looks like. Everybody’s skinny next to you. (swallows and stuffs more cookies into her mouth and throws the Cellophane wrapper at Candi; it clings to the sweaty slope of her body) Are you hungry?

Candi: (nods)

Brandi: Good. I put in an extra block of lard today because I’m mad at you and you BETTER not throw it up. (picks up funnel and holds it to Candi’s lips) Kiss the funnel. (Presses it hard to Candi’s pursed lips) Go on, kiss it!

Candi: (face twists in anger, fear, resentment, hopelessness… she kisses the funnel)

Brandi: And what do you say?

Candi: (has to force herself) Thank you, funnel.

Brandi: Say it all.

Candi: Thank you, funnel, for feeding me slop. Thank you, slop, for making me fat. I love my funnel and I love my slop.

Brandi: That’s a good girl. Now, here comes the airplane… (she moves the funnel toward Candi’s mouth in a mocking little circles, finally planting it in place. She turns to get a ladle-full of slop and, holding the funnel steady with her free hand, pours the slop into the funnel)

(Candi noisily and desperately gulps until she’s able to gasp for breath)

Brandi: You wouldn’t believe the things the people at OA said about you. They really hate you. Dolores said I should sit on you and smother you and I said I had better ideas. (puts her mouth to Candi’s ear and screams) BECAUSE I MAY WEIGH FOUR HUNDRED AND SEVEN POUNDS BUT YOU’RE THE FUCKING FAT ONE YOU FUCKING FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT

(Candi sobs, funnel still in her mouth, trickles of slop slowly dribbling from one chin down to the next)

(Brandi fills the ladle)

Brandi: I fucking HATE you. You’re the fat one. You’re the fat one.

(Brandi holds the funnel steady with her free hand, pours the slop into the funnel…)