Get Blorped

Chapter 1 - Dude Got Blorped

I was watching my favorite livestreamer last night play Cookie Crawler and he got OKed by a Rice Crispy Raptor build and they just kept using him for exp grinding. The chat that once idolized him, turned on him. The spammed him with "get blorped" in all caps, they even turned it into an emote.

For every "get blorped" the dude got he would put on a kilo of weight and it kept throwing him off his game. The "get blorped" campaign ran for weeks, the once fit and attractive livestreamer was just another doughy Cookie Crawler blob like the rest of them.

He put out several public statements begging his fans to stop sending him cookie deliveries in the mail but they kept responding with "get blorped" and he would continue to put on kilo after kilo of weight. The dude had no way to really stop his weight gain and the tier list went from who had the most wins under their belt into what belt size he needed to keep his 12XL Cookie Crawler pants on. The dude tried his hardest to cook and clean up after himself but found that all he could do was bake more cookies and clean up the mess.

Cookie Crawler added more gameplay mechanics and tried to shift the meta but the dude was too blorped to keep up with the game play, the dude kept on losing his grip on the controller and more "get blorped" emotes would appear. The dude's latest stream just showed his fat ass pointed to the camera, he was laying down on his belly and using the motion controller, each cookie was more exp for his Buff Biscotti Build. Master Macaroon came and completely decimated his team though and more "get blorped" trolls popped up in the chat. They were clearly using botted accounts or something, I tried to report as many as I could but eventually I started just spamming "get blorped" too and everyone joined in.

The dude's merch store got taken over by Cookie Crawler's PR team, what was once his gym line became another cookie cutter storefront, literally. I got a "get blorped" shirt and the molasses cookie mug to support his endeavors towards moving into a mansion that could house his 190,000 kilo body. Dude's still getting blorped to this day.