chapter 1

Spring had sprung and so had the top button on Jeanette’s short shorts. She hadn’t tried these on since last fall when they fit her just right. Comfortably layered under winter clothes for the past several months, Jeanette had been able to ignore the generous layer of winter weight that was now reflecting itself back at her in the mirror. She knew she had put on a few pounds but had been able to convince herself that she had nothing really to worry about. Now, turning slowly to see the full extent of damage, she was shocked by how chunky she looked.

She was surprised by the pronounced roundness of her belly and ass. She couldn’t figure out how she had been able to overlook the love handles that now bulged over the waist band of her too tight shorts. She felt like she was seeing herself for the first time in a long time and wondered when she had gotten so fat.

She shimmied the shorts down over her hips and decided to pick out an oversized blouse and a pair of super baggy jeans synched with a wide belt that had been her style for months and had successfully concealed the extent of her plumpness from everyone, including herself. She finished getting ready for work and made a commitment to herself that it was time to get back into shape. She had always enjoyed being able to wear the type of bathing suits and skimpy clothes that turned men’s heads and drew looks of resentment from their girlfriends.

Now the thought of her bloated, chubby body in a bikini made her shudder. She decided it was time for a serious diet and exercise routine. This would be a first for her, since she had always been able to maintain her slim figure without effort: Without effort that is, until she graduated from school and took a job working for a film production company where the hours could be demanding and she had little time for anything else. Jeanette wasn’t even sure she knew the kind of changes that dieting was going to demand.

Walking into work, she was confronted by one of the causes for her weight gain. The office always maintained a full table of pastries, coffee cakes, and doughnuts to keep everyone’s energy on a sugar high. Surveying the offering, Jeanette figured that at least 10 of her newly acquired pounds had been found at this table which, conveniently or inconveniently as the case may be, was only a few steps from her desk. Knowing that these piles of sweetness were no longer for her, made them all the more difficult for her to ignore. She was not accustomed to having to deny herself.

Jeanette was able to make it through the day without a nibble. She skipped lunch and refused to succumb to the lure of the sweet snacks just a few feet beyond her reach. While she expected to feel proud of her discipline, the main feeling she was experiencing was that she was starving. After work, she stopped into the gym that she passed on her way home and signed up for a six month membership. Since it was already April, she decided that she would have to be back in shape by July when her group share at the house in the Hamptons began. This was the shortest plan available.

After a loop in the cardio circuit and a 40 minute step class, Jeanette was dripping with sweat and ready to head for home. Waiting until no one was within easy view, she stepped up on the scale in the locker room. She quickly realized why she had popped the button on her shorts and looked so chubby that morning. She weighed 160 lbs, which wasn’t totally ridiculous for someone 5'-6" but was almost 20 lbs. heavier than the last time she had been on a scale six months earlier. It was certainly enough of a weight gain to reinforce her commitment to her new regime. She quickly got off the scale before anyone else in the locker room could notice where the needle was pointing. Somehow, knowing how much she actually weighed made Jeanette feel much fatter.

Walking home from the gym, she stopped into the market near her apartment and picked up a case of Slim Fast and several Lean Cuisine ready meals. Riding up in the elevator, Jeanette didn’t appreciate the cynical smile from the slinky girl who could see what was in her shopping bag.

After taking a shower and changing into a giant t-shirt, Jeanette prepared her first diet meal: Lean Cuisine’s Chicken Tetrazinni. Sitting in front of the T.V., Jeanette was surprised by how quickly her dinner disappeared. It didn’t make much of a dent in the hunger that she had been working on all day. She went searching through her cupboard and refrigerator for something appropriate to help curb her appetite but was confronted by an assortment of treats that could easily take claim for at least another 10 lbs.: three different flavors of ice cream and none of them low calorie or even low fat; a selection of cookies that accommodated the mood swings from chocolate to nuts; and a choice of different flavored chips. It began to get easier for her to understand how she had gained a pound a week since she had started living on her own. Realizing how little attention she had been paying to what she had been eating and how cooperative she had been in succumbing to her appetites, Jeanette started to feel lucky that she didn’t weigh more than 200 lbs.

In four years of college, Jeanette had witnessed the “freshman fifteen” and other weight gains that most of the other girls had experienced from the combination of cafeteria food, “kegger” parties, and late night dorm binges. Somehow, she had never been affected by these transgressions and, due in part to her participation in athletics, had graduated just a few pounds heavier than the first day that she had arrived on campus. She had seen other girls pig out and transform from cute little freshman into sullen seniors who were quick to point out the superficiality of judging people by their looks.

Jeanette had just assumed that her metabolism and natural figure type gave her an immunity to weight problems. Now, standing in front of her refrigerator with a real belly that was grumbling with hunger after consuming a “healthy balanced meal,” Jeanette started to feel grumpy. She was “hangry.” She grabbed a pint of mint chocolate chip that was three quarters full and sat down in front of the television with a spoon, eating directly from the container belligerently. After all, she rationalized, she would have to get rid of these non-diet delights if she was going to have any success with weight loss. Jeanette began to feel more comfortable and realized that her hunger had subsided. She hadn’t really been watching the television and, laying back on the couch, started to pay attention to a program about how the manatee is threatened in Florida. Scraping the bottom of the pint, she began to identify her appearance with that of the manatee. Maybe it wouldn’t be so threatened if it wasn’t so damned fat, she thought as she jiggled her plump belly.

The next morning, Jeanette woke to renewed enthusiasm and did some stretching before drinking her Slim Fast “breakfast.” She dressed in a pants suit with a comfortable cut that concealed her real shape and headed off to the office. It was a busy day and she was able to avoid the table of pastries, although at times she had to remind herself not to just grab a doughnut or muffin. Her lunch was her second Slim Fast. Her friend Carrie called in the afternoon and they made plans to meet at a local pub after work for a drink.