New to weight gain

chapter 1

As I sit here on my desk chair, I can't seem to ignore the roll I feel portruding out from on top of my jeans. These jeans use to fit loose. My ass wouldn't even pop out of them ans you definetly couldn't see any blubber pouring out. I hope I never forget to suck in when I'm sitting in public. Looking down at it, I feel aroused. I like running my hand over my new wheel of fat accumulating, but I also don't know how I could have gained this much. I mean- yeah I've been eating more sweets... but I've been exercising too! Twice a week sometimes! Sometimes none and sometimes I don't want to go for a run... I've been walking but i suck in when I walk. I get stared at but maybe because it looks like I'm thinner than i actually am and because my ass finally filled in my jeans. I checked myself out yesterday and it actually looked like I had a nice round ass. I just wish the stomach would be flat. I have a double chin when I tilt my head slightly down. Just slightly and it's there! I try not to look down when I talk to people. I hop now when I pull my jeans up. Little hops to get the jeans past mythighs and then another hop and I suck in my stomach so they button well. I want to lose the fat because of what my family and friends would say and think of me. But i also like seeing this roll of fat. And feeling it really turns me on. Especially when i see a chubby guy with big arms and a double chin forming. That really turns me on. And when he wears a tight button down and then eats, so the buttons are barely holding. I wish i had a boyfriend that wanted to get fat. I want to see his shirts get tighter. I want to see his belly rolls peeking through his use-to-be-favorite shirt. I want him to eventually have his stomach rub the steering wheel as he drives us to the buffett. And my ass will just be getting bigger even though I try to stay trim, all this delicious food temps me too. and we'll have the best, sweatiest, foreplay and sex. He'll be on top of me and before he lowers himself, I already feel his belly hanging over mine. And as he slowly lowers himself his moobs press up against my chest. It gets hard to breathe but I don't tap out because now we're making out and moving our pelvises together and all this suffocation means he gained.