Feabie is a much better integrated site. ff is more a bunch of sub-sites awkwardly pasted together.

Best example is Feabie's near-line chat, which segues organically between messaging and on-line chat. On ff it's quite a few clicks and page transitions to go from one to the other.

For me, ff is about the forum, which Feabie doesn't even have. Feabie is more about the main feed, which ff doesn't have. The main feed does have a lot of whiners and creeps...but you can minimize that by blocking people you're not interested in and by setting the filter, which is very powerful.

ff also has chat rooms, which Feabie doesn't, but I'm not a big fan of chat rooms.

Feabie is better for connecting with individuals--flip side of that is it's easier for individuals you might not care for to connect with you.

ff, because of its forum, is better for general discussions about feedism and related issues.

There is probably more SJW-slanted stuff on Feabie, but no more than, say, facebook, and most of it isn't over the top. (For the record, I'm all for social justice but the extremists do alarm me sometimes.) And I'd rather see SJWs than say, alt-right crap! I generally ignore it.

Feabie also has a great search facility, which, as a numbers guy I really like, since it tells you how many people it finds. If you're curious about how many women over 30 are feedees compared to average-weight gay men under 40 (or whatever!) you can do it really easily.

I suggest you cherry-pick and use whatever you like about each site and ignore the rest. That's what I do anyway!

I admit that as an old straight white guy my experience on both sites is probably a lot different than, say, an attractive young woman. People don't usually bother harassing me! But we all have our crosses to bear.

I guess I'm assuming some sense of responsibility on the part of the feedee. If they want to get too fat to take care of themself and that's impractical obviously it's a bad idea to help them get as fat as they want.

I was thinking real but fantasy is cool too.

The primary rule would have to be you help your feedee get as fat as they want, even if it's more than was initially planned.

What else?

I think the first bit was accidental, then she started liking it.

Wow, I'm amazed that I continue to learn new things about this fetish after all this time.

A woman just told me she went from the 130s to her goal weight of 170. She was conflicted about whether to gain more, diet, or maintain. Finally she decided to gain more just so dieting wouldn't be an option! She immediately felt much better about it. Has anyone ever heard of such a thing?

See "Deciding to Get Fat" on my site: askdrfeeder.dyndns.org/dtgf.html

A couple of English feedees were visiting the US some years ago. I helped them arrange a meet-up in San Francisco. Lots of fun!

I've actually been burned on both sites and don't see much difference except:

Feabie has a public feed, so you see whatever people care to post on there, including complaints and accusations. And of course this causes counter-complaints and counter-accusations. You're much more conscious of issues that may have nothing to do with you.

Feabie has near-line chat, which neatly combines chat and messaging...ff has on-line chat plus messaging and it's not very easy to transition from one to another. So communication between individuals is much easier on Feabie. This facilitates good interactions, but also facilitates bad interactions. So Feabie will tend to be better or worse than ff depending on what you're about and who you're interacting with.

Start with #4. If that goes well, #5. If that goes well #6. If that goes well you discuss acceptable modes of encouragement and safe words or whatever. I doubt signed waivers will be needed!