Or let your actions speak for you.

In a situation like that get up and wrap your arms around her, maybe running them up and down her figure, possibly making appreciative noises. That says totally clearly that you liked what you saw and wanted to enjoy being turned on by it.

If you want to take it a bit farther, maybe murmur "I love this outfit" (clearly joking because she isn't all dressed, but emphasizing how you like to see her not all dressed, but also implicitly saying that you like how her jeans look on her). But the key there is combining the words with the touch and hug because your actions are screaming how turned on by her you are

You can have fitness with fatness. I mean, eventually even if you are quite fit you'll breath heavily in a lot of situations due to how much weight you are moving around, but for sure you can push that to future weights some.

Walking, or really any other activity, done at a rate that makes you breath a bit harder and get a bit warm, is really all it takes to start improving your fitness (as you get fitter, the pace you have to go at to reach that state will increase).

Also, umm, at your height and weight I think most people would think that you are already fat .... but of course around here 'fat' is just a starting point

Diabetes really does a number on the body, and it is sort of a wear-out mechanism, those rising A1C numbers are sort of like brakes that aren't stopping your car as quickly as they used to, a sign that a system is wearing out (in this case her insulin sensitivity and ability of her pancreas to pump out ever higher levels of insulin). Not exactly alike, because over a lot of years bodies can recover some, while your car won't, but any recovery of those features in your body tend to be slow.

So she probably really does need to change up her diet to protect her health (including her eye sight, liver health, sensitivity to touch, immune system, brain age, and more). You can find lots of guidance online, but the big first steps are really cutting down on sugar and simple carbs (white flour, potatoes, white rice), and super-especially not having a lot of them at once (spiking her blood sugar).

It can be really hard to replace those calories, but with work she can likely do it. She might lose a bit of weight for a while she and her body adjust to the new diet, and it can take some discipline to eat as much when more of it is sunflower seeds and less is brownies, when more is cream and less is soda, etc. But imagine her still being plump and curvy and wrapping your arms around her without feeling any concern or guilt about her health? Worth maybe the loss of a few pounds for now?

I've been around various online discussions where people have tried to find some common cause, and really nobody had much luck, there were a lot variables.

I've seen a few people attempt academic papers around FAs or feedism, but none really seemed to get too deep into causes.

I know that I've not seen everything out there, but just saying that some people have given the topic a real try without finding any one thing that is the common cause.

Fat women are not all the same, so obviously it will depend on the woman.

I've always been torn between wanting to be fat and wanting to fit in unnoticed, not to look out of control, etc. For better or worse what I did was give in for a bit, gain ten pounds or whatever, then get disciplined for a while, maybe lose a bit, until the desire to gain got too strong or life got so busy that I lost my discipline, and I'd gain some more. Rinse, repeat.

I'm not necessarily suggesting it, but based on my experience I can say there are some pluses to it. Each gain is not enough to draw a lot of attention, there are plenty of times when you seem disciplined to build that image of caring about mainstream views of health, and because each gaining episode is discrete and unique each one is a treasured memory.

But it is slow, and you can't ever commit all the way, always looking for that moment to say 'enough' and change your habits again.

Taking a quick look at your profile, at your age and size it would likely not shock anyone if you gained fifteen pounds. It would sort of be noticeable but not attention grabbing to anyone other than you and your husband. So you could plan something like that, gain then maintain and see how it goes?

Tight muscles can also be a factor in knee pain (muscles don't have enough flex to make good shock absorbers). So don't neglect stretching and maybe consider some massage.

This issue is why I always find it odd that stores seem to put the biggest jeans on the lowest shelves. Turn it around, let the thinner folks do the bending down!

One thing to consider is that having a fat wife will make it no surprise if you gain weight -- it is a pretty common thing after marriage (or living together for long enough) for lifestyles to converge. You may get some teasing from friends, but nobody is apt to be shocked, and you can just shrug and say "I don't know, I guess it just happens, you know?"

But I agree, what your fiancee thinks matters. And while maybe she'd feel better if she wasn't so much bigger than you (because you got bigger), there is also the possibility that you being thinner helps her feel not so bad (like "I'm not fugly or my thin fiancee wouldn't be with me, and anyone looking at us will understand this, but if he gets fat they might feel that we both just settled for another fatty because we had no choice"

And if she didn't mean to gain weight, and regrets it, you deliberately gaining weight may not feel good to her.

So just saying: tred carefully, and I'd explore the topic a little bit at a time before you tell her everything. But also, what happens over a span of years may be easier to forgive than is granting permission for something sudden and abrupt. And one more factor may be how she wants to see you are your wedding/in wedding pics? Definitely lots of topics for discussion.

That level of mobility is a great theory, but in practice I think it is not a very stable point. One bad step that twists an ankle, a prolonged illness leaving you in bed for a while, fat related health issues, or just getting a bit older and a bit weaker, basically when you are so close to the edge, it may not take much to push you to a degree of immobility that you may not like and that is hard to come back from.

But yah, just barely hanging on is hot af!