For me it came in stages: I’ve fantasised about growing a huge spare tyre of a belly since I was a child, but suffered with disordered eating/bulimia when I was 16-17. I was a chubby kid and never got below 150lbs though. By the time I was out of high school I had developed a “chubby girl with brains, wit, and a great personality” attitude about myself, which is now deeply entrenched in me and gives me a fuckton of confidence. I also practiced and eventually stopped any body shaming self-talk, and I try to live by the rule of never being meaner to myself than my most honest best friend would be. It’s worked out well too!

The coping strategies I use now are all based on two things I remind myself of if a nasty comment comes my way: 1. I chose to be this fat, and 2. I worked hard to grow this fat because of how much I really, truly I love it!

At the end of the day, I’m the only one who gets to live my life, and I’ve made a conscious and irreversible decision to live it exactly as I want to, and that continues to be in a fat/growing body 🙂

I hope this helps! Best of luck with your research - I’m glad academics are asking good questions of us 😋

*Grabs the popcorn* Don’t mind me! 🍿😅👍🏼

I’ll second that! I’ve never considered it this way before, but I 100% didn’t start intentionally fattening myself until my pre- and post-orgasm feelings towards getting fatter we’re the same.

Thanks for the random burst of personal insight, Dolkite!

Don’t rush! You have nothing but time on your side. Think about it when you’re in the mood to think about it; don’t when you’re don’t want to. I found reading the stories on here really helped me see what got me going, and what wasn’t for me. Maybe give them a try?

You will get wherever you’re going, despite the pressure we might feel from having to always define what/who we are in online spaces. Go easy on yourself and only do what feels good for you!

(Sorry, elder feedee millennial pep talk is over 🤣)

I couldn’t agree with this more! I struggled with accepting my gainer/feedee fetish throughout my 20’s (shout out to all you lurkers who are working your way out of the fridge! 😊👍🏼). I stopped lurking and started participating when I decided to give gaining a go at 29. I’m 36 now, and nearly double my starting weight. Best decision I’ve ever made! I’m still figuring out where and how I want to wind up, and I’ll be doing that fir the rest of my life, because finding balance for me means actively chasing a moving target to keep a grip on my health and my desires - but I’m okay with that! It’s never boring, and I’ve incorporated my sexuality into my life in a way that really works for me.

I think you can do this on your own more easily than with a partner, sometimes, but only if they’re at least supportive of what you’re into, if not into it themselves. I couldn’t be arsed with finding FA’s on the mainstream dating sites, so I used FF and Feabie (and was explicit about what I was looking for in my profiles!). I based who I went out with on how we got along, feedism aside, and that’s how I wound up meeting my fella/encourager. I’m with him because of his mind, personality, and character, and how fuckable I find him - the fact we both find me getting fatter to be seriously hot was a given from the start, and that’s given me the freedom to actively explore how I feel about everything along the way. His role is that he supports me 100%, no questions asked, and will egg me on when I let him know I’m craving some inches and want his encouragement. This isn’t necessarily the way things would look if I’d led with finding matching fantasies though, (if I had I’d be bound and funnel fed, and who knows how huge 😅😂), but this is better than any fantasy because mutual respect and support is a million times more intoxicating to a feedee like me than anything else.

I love how smart FF is nowadays 😊

Personally, I’m a big fan of numbers when it comes to how I keep track of my gains! Little weight and belly measurement goals were a much bigger deal to me during my first 100lbs - to the point where I had to take a step back from weighing myself too often because anything other than an increase would bum me out more than I wanted it to.

Nowadays I still keep track of my weight and body measurements because I love that I have years of records tracking my growth. I may weigh myself a coupe times a week or more if I’m making an effort to fatten up, but I reserve taking my measurements for times when I think they will have changed/gone up.

The only real goal I got crazy about was my first goal to get from 200 to 265. Since then it’s been more like chasing the cravings I keep getting to gain another 10-20 lbs. at a time. I’ve achieved my goal of getting seriously fat so I don’t feel much need to use benchmarks anymore - I suppose I’ll just keep getting bigger for as long as I want to, or until some outside reason forces me to stop.

Yep, this happens to me every time I gain weight to at least some extent: First my inner thighs feel like they're being pushed apart, and my butt feels heavier to carry around; walking or standing, for what used to be an okay amount of time, will suddenly make my lower back muscles start burning from the effort.

If I've been eating a lot lately, my belly will begin feeling like it never fully deflates in the mornings after I've gone to sleep stuffed.

The strongest "feel it before you see it" effect happens when I've been drinking heavy/double cream, (usually 300-600ml around 3-4 times a week, for 1-2 weeks). Heavy cream is famous for causing delayed scale gains that tend be seen/felt first.

It's easy to imagine gains are showing up if you're eager to see them, but that doesn't necessarily mean what you feel is all in your head

I’ll second everything that’s already been said, and just add that I started off with an experimental 10 day binge when I was at my lowest adult weight ever, and I managed to re-gain 18lbs. and the confidence to continue knowing that I was truly enjoying it.

I’ve never attempted to gain more than 10-20lbs at a time because that’s where I’m happy and self assured every time I’ve decided to gain more.

My point is: make a habit of checking in and listening to yourself, and letting that guide everything you do or don’t do. Thats how I’ve approached my gaining from day 1 and it’s 100% the reason my gaining experience has been so overwhelmingly positive for me.

Beyond nice to read that Curveman!