I wrote an important short answer to the last thread I opened, but when I wanted to post it, I saw the thread had just been locked. Here is what I wrote (that’s my last contribution on this subject on this forum, if I have to write something else, I’ll do in on my website anti-religion.net/ ).

@Malvineous:

To the video about the “4chan cult”: This is a very disturbing video (even if I don’t understand the totality, is there a written version?), I didn’t know this happened. It’s horrible if in 2018 people were forced to take HRT, if people have been driven to transition by a hidden agenda (fetish of the initiator? Eugenics?) and if posts in favor of transmaxxing were seen by their authors as “traps” to deceive as many people as possible. And the result is that now each time somebody will suggest that transmaxxing would be a good idea for some people, references will be made to these events.

I came to the conclusion that MtF transition (even only socially) would be a good idea for some male fat fetishists on an independent way (at that time I didn’t know the “incel” concept yet), I first wrote about it in May 2023 in a French forum. My experience with living as a fat woman is very positive and I wanted to share it with the fat fetish community, hoping that it would help some people who would benefit it but never considered it.

@LydiaFatOtter (“if your account wasnt 7 years old ill be calling you troll.”):

In fact, even much more than 7 years. In 2011 I deleted my account (I think I was “meteo”, or maybe “meteofa”) because a girlfriend wanted me to. We separated in 2015 and I came back as “Marquis de Sate”. Early 2020 I changed my name to “Aphrodita”.

@Malvineous:

About autogynephila: I myself was not particularly autogynephilic at the beginning, I never crossdressed before January 2020 and never thought I would do it ever before October 2019. But purposely gaining weight while being FA may be a kind of fetishistic transvestism. Anyway, today I don’t know if I ever met a woman as beautiful as the one I see in the mirror, and my image with revealing clothes is one of the sexiest content I know.

About “transitioning to get laid”: no, not to get laid. I think that fat fetishists have no interest to get laid, even if they first think they have. They are in love with obesity. Indulging this fetish has nothing to do with being in a relationship, founding a family, having children. Living as a fat woman themselves may be the best life for which fat fetishists are made, at least some of them. These people don’t have to transition medically (I didn’t myself and will not), in addition, the sex drive of gainers is often already really low.

Forcing myself of being bisexual instead (having sex with men as a man): I see no interest to do it since I don’t like sex, even less with men. What I love is all about having the role of the woman.

About “Stop trying to gaslight cis people into thinking they're trans”: I don’t know if there are cis and trans people after the definition of transgender ideology. All adult people can transition if they wish. There are for example success stories from incels, they never had gender disphoria but they love their lives now, contrarily to many people who had gender disphoria prior to transitioning (because the real cause of their gender disphoria has not been identified and treated).

About dating in the feedist community: I don’t know personally because I never tried it, but in France the community is like a family, many complaint that there are nearly only men. For global networks like Fantasyfeeder, I watch the statistics.

About what people write in the manosphere: I think that it shouldn’t all be understood in the 1st degree meaning, for example the theory that “all men find only slim and under 35 women attractive” and all the content about it seems to be motivated by sadism, it is in fact sexual SM content (do you really think that there can be another motivation for example for this: heartiste.org/2009/09/29/which-is-harder-on-a-womans-looks-fat-or-aging/ ). I am 41 years old, generally about 125 kg and I live what they call “the carousel”.

[Part 2/2]

By living as a woman you have the possibility (that’s not an obligation) to reduce a natural imbalance: even outside of the fat fetish community, many men don’t have access to anything which has to do with love/sex, because in mammals, females are much more selective than males (see forbetterscience.com/2021/03/18/female-choice-by-meike-stoverock-book-review/ ). Some of these men are very happy to find people like me (non-selective Ersatz-women). If you’re not at all into men, the idea of doing things with men may disgust you. It disgusted me at the beginning, but I got used to it.

I believe that MtF transitioning (some call it in this case “transmaxxing”, which is acceptable in my view if you respect basic rules like “Don’t enter women-only areas”, “Don’t benefit from measures designed to promote women”, etc.) is THE solution for some/many incels, but also for some/many male fat fetishists. In my case, I blossom, I love my current life.

[Part 1/2]

I guess that very few male fat fetishists who don’t lie to fat women about their fetish in real life are (and will ever be) in a relationship, am I wrong? The situation for male FAs is all but enviable.

Outside of the fat fetish community, male fat admirers are considered as “perverts”, especially by fat women. Most fat women are just horrified when they meet a male fat fetishist, many of them then lose a lot of weight, they find the motivation they never had before, even when they were mocked at. In 2005, the thriller “Feed” portrayed male fat fetishists as monsters, with a comparison to pedophilia. Anyway, male fat fetishists and non fetishist fat women have too divergent interests (non fetishist fat women only dream of losing weight and they could succeed). In fact, male fat fetishists can have relationships only with female fat fetishists. What is the sex ratio in the fat fetish community? For example a few days ago on Fantasyfeeder: 8 men for 2 women. In addition, as I experience it since I live as a woman, fat women are in fact very successful with men, so the rare female members in the fat fetish community don’t need to wait for a male fat admirer who lives 300 km away, they already have too many partners in their neighborhood. The fat fetish community is an ocean of heterosexual men who will never find a partner (exception: dishonest FAs who tell in real life that they are just interested in “internal beauty”, but they live with risks).

If you’re a male fat fetishist, you probably don’t only have a passion for fat women, maybe you’re also a gainer (by the way, I think that it’s already a kind of “fetishist transvestism”, see below “autogynephilia”, you try to transform your body according to the fat women you admire). But fat men have a high estrogen level, are feminized, less potent with women. On the other hand, they would pass very well as women (even without HRT, see my pictures ;-) ).

In January/February 2020, life conduced me to transition socially to a woman (only make-up, clothes, etc., no HRT and no operation). What I explained above wasn’t the reason, I didn’t consciously follow a strategy, but afterward, I realized that it was the best that could happen to me. I must say here that I’m not typical at all: I’m asexual (I don’t like real sex with another person), nearly impotent (because of medicament Zoloft and fatness), I don’t like being in a relationship, for me love is only friendship (I really enjoy friendship with women). In my head I live in a world without men (for example I hear nearly only female singers). Historically I admired women so much that I imitated them. I don’t know how MtF transitioning makes sense for a man who differs significantly from this scheme.

If you’re a man who used to have no access to anything which has to do with love or sex, what you will see as a woman very will impress you. You go out and see men turning their head, complimenting you, chasing you, cars driving slower at you, you hitch and the 1st car stops (a man alone), you receive a lot of messages on social media (even too many). As men are not selective and have a strong propensity for fetishism, all women (this also includes transgenders/transvestites) are attractive for at least some men. You look in the mirror and you love what you see: I’d have a lot to tell about it, this is called “autogynephilia”. I don’t want to enter the debate about transidentity, but autogynephilia is also an (acceptable) reason why some (heterosexual) men transition to women. I think that each heterosexual man has an autogynephilic side and can use it if needed. Advantage: “Your body your choice”, you can do all you want only with your own body (being as fat as you want, having long hair, etc.) You decide how you look, you’re yourself your ideal girlfriend.

When you live as a woman, you have many female friends, you’re very close to women, most of them even pamper you.

As a woman you get fetishized for your weight. As a man, you will be vilified if you do that with women, you can barely be fetishized yourself even if it is your dream and puritanical feminists call it “male privilege”. As a woman you now have the right to do wonderful things like wearing make-up, dressing sexy, wearing crop-tops, high heels, mini-skirts, etc. As a man it is forbidden (only sad clothes are allowed, I call it “half-Kabul”), and again, puritanical feminists call it “male privilege”. When you dress sexy as a fat woman, people react very strongly in both directions. Some people “hate” it, make fun at you, show how “disgusted” they are (if you’re into fat humiliation it will be a great feeling, and I think many men who do it are in fact sadists, it’s a sexual SM game, I’d have a lot to tell about it), while other people love it and get crazy about you.

Thank you Just_Jess_81 for your respectful intervention. Fortunately, in my town, the steps to become a gender you were not born as are not very difficult. The acceptance level is very high, cisgender women even spoil transgender ones. It happens very often that a woman wants to offer me a cigarette or a drink “because it’s wonderful so see somebody who stands by what he/she is.” They want to make my make-up, they go with me for shopping, they defend me in night-clubs for example when a man touches my breast or forcibly kisses me (something like that happens on average every 15 min). Most people who know me call me “madam” and use the feminine form for me (in the French language, even adjectives often change in the feminine form), people who don’t know me do it at least as long as they haven’t heard my voice, most of them continue after.

I am stunned how being a fat woman is accepted. I am sometimes laugh at for that, but much more chatted up and complimented, even by native French. Maybe it’s because my face is very beautiful, but I also get compliments for my curves.

Transgender men are less visible in society, but I went to a discussion group of a transgender organization and I would say that there were about as many transmen as transwomen (normally, it’s not a matter of “it’s easier / more difficult to live as one gender rather than the other”). Unfortunately, pre-HRT transmen can’t do the same as we do with make-up.

It is very important for me to tell that I “love being fetishized”, “looked at”, “used for the sexual gratification of men” and women, “degraded with sexy pictures/vids of me”, etc., because it is a response to puritanical feminists (that’s why I use their own vocabulary) who assume that libertine things are bad. Conservatives believe these things are immoral and when puritanical feminists speak this way, conservatives then say: “Look how these ungodly things harm women!” I grew up in a very conservative evangelical family (where even make-up was considered as immoral), but I doubted it, researched for several years after which I became an unbeliever. On the contrary, I love these libertine things and I think it’s very important that people know there are also people like me, that people also hear a different opinion to the issue than the puritanical feminist / conservative one.

@chubby1258, qqkilos: It is important to read what I wrote before you answer and not to deform it if possible. I never meant that “women dress a certain way in order to please others”, but that the purpose of dressing sexy is to be looked at (to be seen as sexy by the people.) I have plenty female clothes that are not sexy, but when I dress sexy, I don’t expect men not to look at me, rather I watch how men react to me and it makes me euphoric. Sexy clothes are not comfortable. High heels for example are painful. If I just wanted to wear clothes that make me look good and I’m comfortable with I would never wear sexy clothes like high heels. But that’s not the case, and in addition, I have the corresponding masochism. If I wore sexy clothes and I said that I just want to wear comfortable clothes it would be a lie.

@MackTheFork: I suggest you go out into the real world, outside of the political correctness of puritanical feminism (which denigrates all what women can do as women and is in fact on the same side as patriarchal religions and their conservativeness, see for example what evangelist Franklin Graham told about the Superbowl half time with J-Lo and Shakira which is after him sexual exploitation of women: friendlyatheist.patheos.com/2020/02/03/trump-loving-evangelist-whines-about-lack-of-moral-decency-in-halftime-show/ ), and talk to real women before you make declarations about them.

In our society, people are not ready to accept the diversity of opinions. There are political correctness, taboos, and with many people, it’s not possible to think, rather they react as if we would press buttons: “Aaaaah, fachiiiiiist! Perveeeerse! That’s scientism!” etc.

@Pillbug, John Smith: Pillbug you insinuate that I wrote that victims of sexual crimes merited what happened to them. That’s a typical button when someone dares to say that the purpose of sexy clothes is to be looked at. But common men reactions are neither sexual crimes nor sexual harassment and people who receive these reactions are not victims. The word “mansplaining” is always used when a man dares it to express a different opinion, it is a kind of censure.

@chubbybutt22: Did you read my last post? I am now living it and at the end I mention that it’s not all easy. But men’s common reactions to women’s beauty are not „the other side of that.” In a book about this topic, the author wrote that in our society, the exhibitionist side of women, the desire to be looked at, was wrongfully denied. He quotes an older woman who had said him: “For pretty women, something is worse than being whistled: not being whistled anymore.” (In fact, there is a solution to loss of attractiveness due to age, but in our still conservative society, I am called a perverse if I tell it: the solution is fetishism.)

I did it. Since January 2020, I live a social life as a woman (pre-HRT, only with make-up and women’s clothes but I look very feminine). I see how many men look at me. I very often get compliments and I am often chatted up. It’s so marvelous to see the reflectance of its own beauty in the men’s eyes. It was a surprise, since I thought that only in the fat fetishism community people would find me beautiful. In fact, I see that many men are attracted to me, and I live in France, which I thought to be the worst country for the cult of thinness. In about 1 to 3 cases, when men know my body context, it’s still OK (that’s surprisingly huge!).

On one hand, it is amazing, flattering. I am euphoric, especially when I think about my past when my attractiveness (men excluded) was near to zero. Even before I said that I am a fat fetishist. But in addition, because of cultural reasons, being socially a fat fetishist heterosexual man today is a no go. In the fat fetishism community, there are 90% men and 10% women. In addition, the 10% women are accepted outside of the community (and why travelling 500km when your neighbors love you?), whereas the 90% men are not. In my experience, they are considered as perverse. And I see plenty blogs of fat women complaining about being loved by fat admirers, what they find as scarring as that people mock them. The fat fetishism community is a huge sea of men who will be single forever and dragged down into the mud for their sexual preference. This is not true for homosexual men. By the way, in my town, when I still lived a social life as a man, I noticed that while I didn’t attract women, I attracted homosexual men. For example: 5mn conversation with a man in a bar and it turned out he was a homosexual man who admired me. Wow! My fat fetishism was not a problem for them and sometimes it turned them on. In fact, whatever I do, I am loved by men.

On the other hand, it’s not all easy. During the night, cars sometimes slow down at me or even stop for a while. I am often harassed in night clubs. But I see cisgender women defending me. Cisgender women spoil me as if they had a personal reason to support me.

@Its Bubba Jay

All about being assaulted, killed, having acid thrown in the face is off topic here. Life has risks, fortunately these extreme disasters don’t happen often and in general not within populations where women are allowed to dress sexy. They can also happen to men. But we can live our daily life without having to fear this to happen.

About patriarchy: in the last centuries/millenniums, there was a time when women were strongly oppressed. But especially during the last decades, this situation significantly improved in the part of the world which came out of middle age. Dressing sexy has nothing to do with patriarchy, on the contrary it is deliverance from patriarchy and its conservativeness.



It also happens to me because of my weight, and I love it.



It happened to me.



I love being fetishized and that people use my photos for their sexual gratifications. I used to weight 128 lbs (for 175 cm), then I gained 143 lbs deliberately, for sexual reasons. All what then happened was just what I wanted. It is forbidden to steal photos, but all my own photos are free. You can post them overall where you want. They are not only on Fantasyfeeder. I posted them overall where I could (for example on Tumblr that you mention.) See my pictures, there is also a degrading comment, that’s my masochistic side. Sometimes these are comments you already find on pictures with fat women: I also wanted my “Damn you, genetics!”, “The beach, not for everyone!” or “Look delicious or eat delicious, you decide!” pics, so I made them. I wrote to pro-ana websites so that people who want to be skinny use my photos as “reverse thinspo” (a motivation to diet.) I wrote to a bodybuilding forum (where they fat shame fat people) for a similar reason. I wrote to “People of Walmart” (unfortunately, there is no Walmart where I live so they weren’t interested.) I want my photos and videos to have a good place on Google. And I am very happy when other people make photos of me. It happened several times with admirers of me (ex students), and maybe also for shaming, but I’m not sure.



I’m sorry you used this way to respond me.

@Philoadeps: For the following, I can speak only for me.

“They dress this way or that because they like that garment on themselves and make them feel good-pretty”

My clothes would have no importance if there were no inhabitants who react when they see me.

“so if she is annoyed, stalked, whistled at or even worse, it's her fault because she asked for it”

No, I never wrote that. I ask for being watched, complimented, admired, smiled at, and so on. When I dress sexy then I can't complain if THIS happens.

“and not be seen as an object”

I love being “reduced to my body”, “being fetishized”, and I don’t think it means that people then consider I am not a person.

“I can see one, and only one, situation when a woman or someone in general, would wear something to draw attention and more: it would be in private with their SO”

It is the worst situation for me. I can’t understand why someone wants to settle. It means the end of love. It already happened to me: there was no flirt, no glances, no smiles, no Fantasyfeeder, no comprehension for my fat fetish I was expected to give up, sex I didn’t want, the renunciation of all women in the world but one single.

@Ace of spadez: I don’t have the good body. That’s not the only “disadvantage” of being a woman that I desire for myself.