I love good food. The flavors, the textures, the aroma, it makes me so happy. But I do tend to lose my appetite under extreme stress. Some stress = a craving for comfort food, tons of stress = ew, you mean I have to eat something?

Skipping meals isn’t a practical option for me though. I have seizures and low blood sugar is a major trigger. So I’ve had to learn how to make myself eat enough to keep the seizures at bay even when nothing tastes good. It’s a chore under those circumstances. Same when dinner doesn’t come out well. I’ll eat it so as not to waste food, hot sauce covers a multitude of culinary sins, but I’m not going to stuff myself unless I like the taste.

Fortunately my body is convinced that there will be a famine any day now. It takes a whole lot more than a couple light meals for me to lose any significant amount of weight. I haven’t been below 320 lbs in years.

A party size bag of Lays barbecue chips. I have zero chill around those things. If there aren’t any witnesses, one bag equals one serving, regardless of the size of the bag.

Same here. Between the holiday food and the cold weather making me crave warm hearty dishes, it's much easier to put on weight this time of year.

You’re very welcome! Deodorizing body powder is a necessity for me, things get smelly down there otherwise, but pretty much every affordable brand I could find uses baking soda and/or I hate the fragrance. My skin does not like baking soda. So for me it’s worth the time to make it myself.

3/4 cup arrowroot powder or cornstarch
1/4 cup kaolin clay
2 tsp zinc oxide powder

Sift together (the kaolin has a tendency to clump) and put half the mixture in a clean glass jar. Get a cotton pad and put your choice of fragrance or essential oils on it. I have a ton of 1 mL sample vials of indie perfumes, so I usually just dump one of those on. Put the cotton pad in the jar, add the rest of the powder, close the lid tight, and shake it up. Let it sit for a couple days, shaking it every so often. Pour the powder into a container of your choice, removing the cotton pad when it shows up. I got a metal shaker canister from a kitchen supply store. Make sure it has a reasonably airtight lid if you’re going to keep it in the bathroom.

I got my zinc oxide powder from Amazon, a small packet will last a long time. It acts both as a deodorizer and a skin soother. A lot of people use baking soda, but that can irritate sensitive skin.

I got my kaolin from a bath & body supply company online (here is a list of suppliers in various countries). I also make bath bombs and lotion bars so I was already paying to ship other stuff. Pretty sure you can get that on Amazon too, but beware of counterfeits. Apparently people counterfeit freaking clay of all things.

Shower wands or detachable shower heads are key for washing under the belly hang! It’s difficult to maneuver the spray from a regular shower head under there. And keeping your rolls and folds clean and dry is vital to avoid skin infections. I make sure to wash, dry, and powder those areas every day.

Body powder is super cheap and easy to make at home, too. That way you can make it any scent you want!

I’ve had a lovely Christmas, thank you! Everything tastes so good and I’m so stuffed. The cookies are too tempting though so I keep nibbling. I’ve already gained a fair amount of weight this holiday season, here’s hoping I add a few more pounds! My nice Christmas top is definitely a bit snug around my belly and hips this year.

I hope you’ve had a wonderful holiday too!

The holiday season has been good to me so far! I just weighed in at 340.6 lbs, up 15.6 lbs since I last weighed myself in October. (Batteries in the scale ran out and I kept forgetting to buy more. The joys of end-of-semester craziness.) Can't really see that kind of gain on me with as fat as I already am, though.

Taking control of my body is one of the main reasons why I enjoy being fat. Being disabled, there are a lot of things out of my control, but this is one thing that I can control. I choose to reject society's pressure to be thin at any and all costs. I choose to indulge in the pleasures of whatever food I want and can afford, in whatever quantity it takes to fill my fat belly.

And honestly, the taboo is part of the appeal. I got into this knowing damn well what mainstream society thinks of fat women. Every pound gained is another middle finger to everyone who thinks they can tell me how to live my life. Being fat and happy is an act of rebellion.

I wrapped Christmas presents for a couple hours today, standing up at the table as you do. I can never reach to wrap larger presents if I sit down. My poor feet are KILLING me now! I used to be able to stand on a hard floor for much longer before my feet started hurting.

Maybe I’ll sit down to wrap small presents next year.