chapter 3

April was down another 10 pounds, but me, i'm up another 15.. 140, still thin but I consider girls this size pudgy. I've even called them chubs before. Most my clients are around this size when they come to me and I help them drop down to my old size. Thanksgiving is coming up soon, April and me have been bonding so she invited me to come to her families, I'm actually relieved, wasn't looking forward to seeing my family at this size. What am I going to do when I become fat? Avoid them till I lose again? I know my mom would love to see me big, she's a large woman and always thought I was too thin. Our next weigh in landed on thanksgiving so we weighed at my place before heading to April's family. April was down another 10, to 270, "I'm gonna wind up packing on more tonight though, hard to hold back when I'm with my family" As I stepped on the scale I told April to use me, eat vicariously through me. I'm not holding back this year. The numbers landed at another 15, 155, not too much different than 140 in my eyes.

April's family are not much different than her, all big and nice, kindhearted. My first plate was filled so high, but I finished it, few weeks ago this would have been a challenge, now I am ready for seconds! April kept filling my plate, haha, she was really taking me up on my offer to eat for her. The food started at 1pm and we were still eating stuff by 9pm. I wound up passing out in a recliner with pie all over my face. When I washed my face the next morning I noticed more breakouts, I told April about this on the way home, she said, "Oh hun, you should expect this with all the greasy food you eat, try using face scrubs more often." We had a ton of leftovers and they all went into my fridge. The rest of the week is going to be full of eating.

The next couple weeks were filled with food. I found myself craving sweets, then salty, then sweet, then salty again.. Non-stop, Whenever I thought I was satisfying my cravings, I would get more. I ate all my leftovers and ordered Chinese take-out. Each time I ordered more and more. What I once thought was a meal for a party now was just filling me up. I laid in my apartment floor, surrounded by empty food containers, covered in food, both disgusted in how I looked and excited by the food, food pleased me, food made me happy. I woke this morning at 11:30, ate a slice of pizza from the box next to me, then showered and left to go to Denny's. I got the grand slam, and finished it, stopped at the bakery to get a box of donuts, this was my tenth punch so I also got a cake. Mmm, looking forward to eating that later. I joined April for our session and she got on the scale, she somehow managed to lose 15 pounds even with Thanksgiving, bringing her down to 265. Me on the other hand put on 20... 175 pounds, I am now chubby... I grabbed my belly as I looked at the number, "wow, less than 100 pounds apart, few more weeks and you might outweigh me chubs!" April says while poking my belly. After I left our session my belly growled, I was on my way to lunch but I needed something. I pulled into McDonald's and ordered a double quarter pounder with cheese, just a snack, but mmm McDonald's fries... I parked in the parking lot and went to town on my "snack" oh god, what is wrong with me? I just can't stop eating...

My next few days were a blur of food and sleep. I lost all self control. Now it's the Christmas season and I keep getting cookie gifts from all my old clients. They always send me cookies to thank me for getting them back into shape, usually I give them away at work but this year I've been eating them all. God these are good. April wants to go out to the bar tonight, I have nothing to wear but she said I would be fine in my hoodie. I feel so blah. When I used to go out I never had to pay for a drink, but this night I had to pay for them all. I felt so insecure too, all these beautiful girls around me. April bought me some chicken wings, they helped with my nerves. It took quite a few more drinks to get me even tipsy than it used to. It was nice being able to go out and not deal with guys hitting on me, sure as the night got later the drunker guys were being pushy, but we left at that point. I woke up the next morning with a hangover, I never get hung over, must be because it took way more to get me drunk. April told me fast food is perfect for a hangover so I had McDonald's for breakfast, and lunch, plus a snack in between haha. I plan on getting a bucket of KFC for dinner, but first is April's session, and our next weigh in. I sluggishly enter, my hair pulled up in a messy bun, sunglasses on, sipping on a milkshake, as April is already waiting for me. I notice her in her tight workout clothes, she doesn't seem that much larger than me anymore, I look down at my gut in shame, ugh I'm so fat what am I doing? "Come on girl! I'm excited to keep this going, every day I feel more energetic!" April hops on the scale, another 10 lost, 255. "Come on chubs! Your turn, let's see how much more you put on! Haha, another 20! Those holidays are perfect for you!" Woah, 205 pounds. I am now over 200 pounds. I've gained nearly 100 pounds since meeting April... I picked up my KFC and all the fixins, went home, and ate it all, feeling happy from the food but blown away by my weight.