chapter 2 - 2010 (continued)

We all sat around the table for a few more hours, chatting and eating. I couldn't get my mind off of what Tyler's Dad had said to me. Was he saying I had also let myself go like Tyler? That was impossible, I never gained weight. well...maybe I had grown a bit softer, by one or two pounds. Maybe. Certainly not enough to justify saying I had let myself go. Maybe he was talking about himself, as his Gut had definitely expanded since I saw him last.
However, I did have a harder time picking out clothes, as all of my nicer stuff felt a little tighter than normal, and the snug sweater I was wearing used to be a little big on me. Speaking of the sweater, when I came in and Tyler's mom felt it, did her hand linger on my belly? Am I imagining it, or did she give it a little pat and jiggle. No that couldn't be, she mentioned specifically that I looked great- but on the other hand, when she used to bring us snacks she'd always tell us she was trying to get some meat on our bones. And then there's Jane, when she told me the anecdote about gaining weight after her divorce, was she implying that I had gained weight after my breakup? My ex Gina did always try to get me to play less video games and "do something more active".
As I thought about all these things I had one hand on my belly under the table. I noticed that it did feel a little rounder, a little softer, a little bigger. I went to the bathroom to examine myself in the mirror. I couldn't believe I hadn't noticed before but there definitely was more of me than I thought there used to be. By no means had I gotten as fat as Tyler, but there was no denying my added girth. I sucked it in, stuck it out, tested the jiggle factor, pinched the tiny muffin tops that poked out on either side. I didn't seem to have any sprouting man boobs, and my face looked the same, so I figured it wasn't very noticeable. Tyler's dad only said something because i had just stuffed myself with appetizers. If anything this was a five pound gain, nothing to worry about.

After a while, Tyler and I were able to break away from his family. We headed to a 24 hour Donut place in town, where we used to hang out in High School. We decided to split a half dozen, and sat at our old usual table.
"It's really good to see you man", Tyler said as he stuffed his first donut in his mouth "Sorry if my dad embarrassed you."
"Embarrassed me?" I asked.
"Yeah, when he brought up your weight gain like that. I mean I wasn't gonna say anything since you didn't. I figured you were sensitive about it or something." I didn't know how to respond. Tyler's comment confirmed that I had put on some pounds, and it was noticeable. suddenly I felt like the fattest person in the room, as I started in on a second donut. I finally replied, "To be honest, I didn't know I had gained any weight until your dad said something."
"Really?" He asked " It's pretty obvious. I get it though, I didn't realize I was getting fat until I asked out this girl Rachel at work and she told me she wasn't in to chubby guys. After that I started working out again, but that only lasted a few days. I've gained fifteen pounds since then."
"Wow." I replied "How much have you gained anyway?"
"Since I last checked, around forty pounds". I was surprised by that number, i choked on my donut. Tyler laughed and said "Hey man, once it starts it doesn't stop. You'll see, you'll be up forty pounds in no time. I wonder how much you've gained already. You should weigh yourself and find out. maybe ten or fifteen pounds I'd say. Maybe more".
"You think I've gained more than fifteen pounds!?" I asked, shocked by the accusation. However, as someone who has never really watched his weight I didn't really know what fifteen pounds would look like or feel like.
"I'm surprised you hadn't noticed." He said "Didn't your parents say anything about it? Mine brought it up right away when they came to Oregon last month. But then again my parents have never been shy to discuss how fat they are, or anyone else is for that matter".
"No nothing." I replied. "But we've never talked about that kind of stuff in my family. My dad has never even said anything about his pot belly he's had the last couple years. My mom did mention that I was looking like my dad more and more though."
"There you go", Tyler said "Whenever mom's say that they are telling you you look fat or you look bald, and your dad has a very full head of hair."
We both laughed. Tyler suggested we get another six doughnuts. I was hesitant but he got up and ordered them anyway. He didn't seem to care that he had gotten so chubby, and was eating like he didn't mind if he continued to expand. As we dug in to our second order of doughnuts, I told him I resigned to get back in shape, and starting tomorrow I would diet until I was my old self.
"Don't kill yourself over it man" He said. "That girl Rachel I told you about, a few weeks after she turned me down we hooked up after a work party. Her hands were on my belly the whole time. After that, she's dated two other guys in the office - both of them fatter than me".
I wasn't sure what he was trying to tell me, but I still swore that by the time he saw me again, which would probably be next Christmas, I'd be down to my normal size.

The next day I went out to buy a scale. When I got home I was a little nervous to step on it, I hadn't weighed myself in a long time. I did know that at my last Doctor appointment I weighed 161.5. I remember it specifically because back then I had expected my high school weight of 155, but 6 and a half pounds over ten years didn't seem that bad. I was definitely not ready, less than a year later, to see the number 184 on the scale.
I texted Tyler, on his flight home, and he was also surprised. He told me he weighed himself back at his parents and was up to almost 210, which was actually 45 pounds more than his normal 165. I told him that knowing how much he gained made me feel better about what I had put on. "I can't imagine getting as fat as you have lol" I messaged.

Tyler: "You will. Meanwhile I need to lose a little, I almost couldn't button my pants this morning."

Me: "Ha no way. I'm dieting right away. I'll be my old self in no time. By the way did they make you buy two seats on the plane?"

Tyler: "Very funny, I'm not that big! Maybe one day, lol"

Me : (sent an image of the two obese twins on motorcycles) Us.

Tyler: "Haha.

Me: "JK"

Tyler: "I bet I can lose my 45 before you can lose 25."

Me: "You're on fat boy."

I knew I could easily lose the weight. If I had noticed it was creeping up I would have nipped it in the bud a long time ago. I did kind of enjoy the feeling of my newly discovered doughy belly. I spent a large part of the day trying on all of my clothes, some old stuff from high school, and seeing which outfits showed off my chubbiness the most. I was glad it wasn't summer, as my swimsuit really showed off my gain. now that I accepted it, I was obsessed with my chubby gut, telling myself this is probably the biggest it would ever be. I went to the fridge and ate whatever I could, trying to make it seem as big as it absolutely could. I laid down on the couch with no shirt and my fly open on my jeans, and promptly fell asleep.
When I woke up I had a text from Tyler. It was a picture of a large pizza and said "Diet starts after new years, haha". I sent back a picture of the flyer from my local pizza place and wrote "same".
I ordered a large pizza and cheese bread, grabbed a soda from the fridge and turned on my Playstation. just as I sat down my phone went off from across the room. It took a little more effort than usual to get up and grab it, but I wanted to see what tyler had to say.

Gina: "Can we talk. Please."

ugh.