How to Embrace My Fatness

Chapter 1

Do you think that you have eaten too much and that's all, you already grown fat? then you not really understand what is to be a fat girl. Really fat, and not like these girls that during the holidays added a kilogram and a half.

I am tired of these arguments from the outside on the topic like "such a weight can not be comfortable." I'll tell you honestly, it's up to you to decide whether you can live with it. Excess weight is not fatal.

I give the starting numbers right away. My height is 165 cm. Weight — 178 kg. I don't like it, but you can live, and even more so, live enjoying life. But there are some nuances, because of which I do not like concerning my fat body. The size range in stores makes me very uncomfortable. The maximum that can be found is XXXL. I have an ass with a volume of 156 cm, as you might guess, XL is too small for me. I don’t want to put on my grandma’s hoodie, just because I don’t fit into the size range of the mass market.

I rarely wear jeans. This is a problem for me and connected not so much with the weight as with the structure of the legs. But I know for sure that this problem is familiar to all plus size girls. My thighs rub against each other and a hole has created on the jeans. Jeans live with me for a month or two with daily wear.

Because of the problem of little fringes that rub against each other, it is hard to wear skirts and dresses in summer. In the summer I carry baby powder in my bag if I leave the house in a dress. But again - this problem is common for plus-size girls, I had that problem even when weighted 70 kg because of the structure of the my legs.

With the weight gain, my breasts also increased. On the one hand, this is a huge plus. On the other hand, I like to sleep on my side and my boobs choke me in my sleep. Because of this I snore.

Suddenly, the problem of the size range of tights came out. I didn't expect such a setup from them. The largest size fits, but in the end there is not enough leg length and the crotch part remains somewhere near the knees. Now I buy tights at a high price, plus size.

Did you know that in some online stores the price depends on the size? The larger the size, the higher the cost. On the one hand, this is logical — more materials are spent. On the other hand, I went nuts when I saw it. I think this is discrimination towards fat.

Excess weight is closely related to water retention in the body. Every morning I wake up with the face of a man who has been drinking for a week (actually not :)).

Swelling Legs. This can be unpleasant. Firstly, it always happens when you are in one position (sitting or standing) at least a little longer than usual. Secondly, socks, for example, can painfully overtighten the leg with edema. Also, it is very difficult to choose beautiful underwear for yourself. My hips, even with a light weight, are always more than 140 cm. And therefore, my most beautiful and budgetary underwear is black cotton trousers, at best, with a lace insert from the stalls.

A separate trigger for fat girls is thin girlfriends who say they are fat. And you sit and chew an apple in your next attempt to lose weight and you want to drop in with this apple. But I usually take it calmly, because everyone lives with their own body, so here it is.

But it makes me uncomfortable when, in my presence, people begin to discuss a lady who is smaller than me in the context of “how fat she is” or “oh, she's gotten so well”... You involuntarily think if these people say the same about you, when you're not around.

About sex. It became a little uncomfortable in the "legs above the head" position - the belly interferes with breathing. Although, again, I know that many people, in principle, are so uncomfortable with it.

About sweating and shortness of breath. I sincerely believe that it is not related to being overweight. In my case, for sure. Didn't sweat like a pig and don't sweat. There was always shortness of breath when running or climbing stairs (even at 70 kg).

It's scary to climb on any structures. For example, with feet on a chair to reach something. I am honestly afraid that it will not stand it. Still, 178 kg is a limit, guys, let's be honest.

By the way, there is such a separate item - fat phobia from doctors. I worked in one place, spending 14-15 hours in a row on my legs. The legs, of course, began to fall off. I came to the doctor with a suspicion of arthritis and asked for an X-ray check, for example. The doctor said that I just need to lose weight. I gave a business card to a weight loss clinic. The direction to the x-ray did not give. I then weighed 70 kilograms. The doctor herself was an immense monster like Jabba. No, I'm not ashamed, she's a scum. The pains in my legs were gone, it was worth changing my job to a more gentle one.

Regarding the relationship to your body. I've never been straight skinny. I did not learn to love my body much at once. Still looking for harmony with him. I consider myself beautiful. But when I see my random photos or I can't find my clothing size, I'm NOT COMFORTABLE.

I have never been bullied for being overweight. There was one difficult relationship in which the partner was blackmailed by losing weight. There were comments from "friends" like "you're too chubby to do this." But this was enough at one time to feel UNCOMFORTABLE.

Due to excess weight, I was mistaken for being a pregnant woman several times. Welllllll, if at the same time they give way in transport — it such a pleasure. But it's embarrassing...

In the narrow stalls of public toilets, it is sometimes very difficult to turn around with my big ass. This is really UNCOMFORTABLE. With less weight, this was never the case.

It is uncomfortable to open your legs above the knees. Yes, I have cellulite. Girls have cellulite regardless of weight, but when you are plump, it is more noticeable. I wear leggings under dresses even in summer, I call it style.

Due to the fact that both my chest and tummy have grown at the same time, it is uncomfortable when the skin of the chest is in contact with the skin of the abdomen (the chest seems to lie on the stomach). I just don't like the feeling, maybe it's a paddock (most likely).

In fact, the best defense is self-irony. I like to joke about my figure. Like, worse than I'm joking about myself - no one can. However, if someone tries it is NOT COMFORTABLE. I'm not joking about someone's nose, a mole on their face, or uneven eyebrows. The nose, a mole on the face and eyebrows can also be corrected, as well as the weight with the figure (though I can't, but this is a separate topic worthy of a separate thread). So let's not poke around in appearance.

If you have ill-wishers, no matter how good, talented, charismatic you are, the first thing they will catch on is that you are FAT. Yes, you can go nuts now. And what? Is that all you have to say bad about me? So, in all other respects I'm good.

Also, I have a problem with estimating my dimensions in space. Sometimes it seems to me that I am able to get into a hole between cars, which in fact is not. And sometimes - that I take up too much space and it is impossible to get around me.

In fact, writing anything about your body is also uncomfortable. Even if no one says anything bad, I seem to feel a mute condemnation. Like there are a lot of stories about how someone lost a lot of weight - come on and you, too, stop whining and pull yourself together...

Again, let's be honest - being overweight is often an inappropriate eating behavior. Not always, but often. The figure is not what defines us. Everyone has a right to be weak. Someone bites, someone cuts himself, someone smokes or drinks alcohol. The main thing is not to cross the line.

As my weight increased, so did my foot size. I'm not sure if this is related, but it happened one after the other. I heard that this happens after pregnancy - again, the weight and pressure on the foot increase - it is trampled, the leg becomes larger.

Go in for sports - you will lose weight. Perhaps. Or maybe you will pump up muscle and stay in the same sizes. Maybe it will look better visually, but... I personally do not enjoy sports. Just for the sake of losing weight, I don’t want to. It is my choice.

Summer and beach. I know several ladies personally who refuse to go to the sea-river in the summer only because they are complex due to excess weight. I'll tell you a terrible secret: many girls who are slimmer than you also have complexes and they are also dumb to go to the beach in a swimsuit.

Remember, the body is an instrument, not a goal. With the help of your carcass, you set and achieve goals, and not vice versa.