Chapter 1

I remember fantasizing about gaining weight ever since I was in college. I would always hear other students joking about the "freshman 15" in regards to the typical weight gain most experience during their college days. I would always laugh to myself because they acted like it was a lot. I was always a bigger girl for my age and I could easily gain that amount in a month.

The dining hall was always my favorite place to hang out. Visiting with my friends and gorging myself was pretty much the norm for me during college and boy did it show. I was a petite 186 pounds when I stepped foot on campus the first time and was 291 when I graduated. I'm only 5'2" so I was a literal beach ball with chubby arms and legs, waddling across the stage.

I hadn't dated much and was starting to yearn for companionship after graduation, so I started trying to go out more. Weekend after weekend, I'd find myself at different bars and clubs trying to put myself out there. I never had much luck but all my thinner friends were in relationships or married already. But they were bored and I was living my life so it didn't make me feel discouraged. I was having a great time but I couldn't help but feel like I was missing something.

I didn't know it at the time but someone was about to stroll into my life that would make me question everything I thought I knew and introduce me to levels of pleasure that I didn't know existed. I know it sounds cheesy but I never thought that I'd find someone who'd like me for me. Someone who didn't want to change me but wanted to add to what I already have.

I couldn't function without coffee, so I was headed to my favorite shop. This was my morning ritual. I'd get coffee, the strongest pour over I could find with heavy cream, and some sugary pastry to help it go down. I was chomping away at my chocolate croissant when I happened to look up and catch this gentleman staring at me from across the shop. He was reading a novel by Sherman Alexie but I had obviously taken his attention away with my eating. When he noticed that I caught him staring, he pretended to go back to reading but his gaze raised above the book more than a few times while I ate my second croissant.

I am used to getting snickered and stared at in restaurants while I'm eating. You know it's always shocking when fat people eat. (Insert eye roll) But this was different. He wasn't laughing. He wasn't trying to take pictures of me. He wasn't looking at me with disgust. He looked.. aroused. I saw him bite his lip when I licked the chocolate from my fingers after my last bite.

What was happening? I felt hot and I can't explain how much I liked him watching me. How much I liked that he liked watching me eat. I felt myself blushing like I was in middle school at the thoughts I started having. But right in the middle of my dreaming, he closed his book and walked over to me. He asked me if he could give me his number. What?? I've never had anyone ask for MY number so this was a shock. We talked for a bit and he asked me out to dinner! A number and a date from Marcus on a Monday, this was going to be a great week.

I finished out my work day and I text Marcus on my way to the shower. In one hour, I'd be sitting across from the guy whose eyes made me weak before he even spoke a word to me. I can't lie. I was excited.

We agreed to meet at 7pm at a barbecue joint that Marcus claimed to have the best ribs in the world. I arrived about ten minutes early and to my surprise, he was already there sitting in a booth. He stood up and complimented me on my dress then we both sat down. He was asking me what kind of meat I liked because they sold it by the pound here and wanted me to try everything. He ordered a full slab of ribs, and a few pounds of brisket, pulled pork, and chicken.

He was really charming and I was really just enjoying his company while we waited for our food to arrive. We talked about work and things we like to do in our free time. Just getting to know each other a bit. After much anticipation, they started bringing our order to the table. Mountains of piping hot meat filled the table. I was so hungry i I didn't know where to start.

Marcus said we should try the ribs first so I took his advice. I reached over and grabbed the first rib. It was fall-off-the-bone tender and dripping with sweet, sticky sauce. My mouth was watering just looking at them. I sunk my teeth into the rib and it was like a fatty flavor explosion. Rib after rib, I was in barbecue heaven! It wasn't until I reached for the last rib that I noticed he hadn't touched anything. I almost felt embarrassed the way I was attacking this feast.

"Enjoy yourself," he whispered.

I was on the last bite and dripped sauce on my chin. I started looking for a napkin when he stood up and sat next to me. He picked up the napkin from his side and turned my face towards him. He gently wiped my face, taking time to trace my lower lip. I felt goosebumps all over my body.

"Have you ever been fed, my sweet girl?"

I shook my head no.

"Do you want to?"

I nodded. I could feel my face getting warmer. He picked up my fork and scooped up a huge bite of the saucy pulled pork.

"Eat for me my good girl.."

I opened my mouth and took the entire forkful. Savoring every moment. Every chew. Looking into his eyes and feeling like I was learning something about myself. I didn't know what is was. But I liked it. I wanted more. I see the fire in his eyes and I want to play with it.

"Have you ever heard of feedism?"

I shook my head no again and smiled. He scooped up another bite, and I obliged him again.

"Do you like this?"

I nodded. I really did. I was so wet and he had barely touched me. What was he awakening in me? My eyes must have told on me because he gestured for the waitress to come over.

"We're going to need a few boxes. We've gotta take this to go..." he said as he turned to me with the most devilishly handsome grin.