Just for Me, Because I Can

Chapter 1 The Door Opens

“Good morning, Steph.”
“Morning, Hailey. Want some breakfast?”

It was such a simple question on a normal, mundane Monday. But I’d been rolling around in my mind for months what’s the point of all the restriction and dieting I was doing. That I’d always done.

To give you some background, I got a work from home job in July of 2020, and it was now January 2021. Steph had hooked me up with her company that did insurance investigations, and I’d loved it immediately. Not my major, marketing, but it was good money and I didn’t have to leave the house.

So, when I’d started to question who or what I was doing the restriction and dieting for, it was mostly because I was now quite self-sufficient and without a boyfriend or solid dating prospect for the first time since like 15. So, like, why starve myself?

So that morning, instead of again just drinking coffee for breakfast, I said, “Yes! I’d love some.”

Steph’s mouth fell open and then she barked a laugh. “Well, alright.”

It was a normal breakfast, but what it did was start me down a path. I didn’t know how dark, enjoyable, or addictive it would be.

So by Thursday, I was now on team breakfast and realizing that all the stories my mother and I had fed into my brain on what not to do with food, I started to question the lot of it. Nothing, like, groundbreaking or crazy. Just honest questioning.

Like, can I eat ice cream? The answer was actually yes. Can I have a snack before bed? Why yes I could. Were restaurant foods always bad for you? 100% no. They’re quite delicious.

And so, I began for the first time in my life, to eat without crazy boundaries or restrictions. And, of course, I immediately sprouted a little tummy. It was like after two or three weeks of eating like a normal person, or… I guess like Steph? I suddenly woke up in February with a pooch of a tummy. It was undeniable and it stuck out a couple of inches. It was soft and wobbly. Steph said it was my new baby belly. It was warm. I thought it was cute, and I enjoyed touching it. No big deal, right?