Chapter 1 - Full Story

Seriously, don't do it. Steer clear of dating. Unless you want to end up like me, don’t do it. I know what you’re thinking, girl. I’m lonely. But they’re so cute. But they like me. See, that’s the problem. Your significant other knows that, and they’ll use that to their advantage. Don’t believe it? Just look at me.

Hard to believe, right? That I was once a lot like you? Thin. Pretty. Thin. And it wasn’t too long ago that, yes, I used to be that way. Don’t believe me? Here. Take a look at what I used to look like. I wasn’t lying, huh? You’re probably wondering what happened, so I’ll go ahead and just tell you. Dating happened.

Let me explain.

Typically, the first dates with your significant other are always food-related, right? You’re going out to restaurants, going on coffee dates, going to the movies, so on and so on. And when you’re out getting food with this new person, you want to get your money’s worth, or at least their money’s worth if they’re paying. So, you don’t opt for the salad but get something heavier instead. Nothing too fattening because you don’t want to push yourself that much, but definitely not salad. If you’re sharing something like popcorn or candy, you have to opt for the large and extra-large options because you have to have enough for the both of you.

So, then you fast forward a short amount of time. Give it some weeks or a few months of that and soon you’ll notice that your pants are starting to get a little tight and your tops are starting to ride up a little bit and your bras are starting to dig into your chest. You hope they just shrunk in the wash but deep down you know what happened. You’ll look in the mirror and see your boobs just a little bigger, your tummy just a little softer, your thighs a touch squishier, or your butt just a little wider.

You’ll examine yourself and, yes, you have put on a little weight. An extra grab of skin here, a little squishy there. You’ll hop on the scale just to confirm your worst fear and, yup, you’re five, ten pounds heavier than the last time you’d stepped on the scale. You’ll start beating yourself. How could you be so blind? How couldn’t you have noticed? And then you’ll think that, oh God, your partner definitely has noticed. You too have probably been together long enough that you’ve been intimate or at least made out by then. How couldn’t they have noticed your extra poundage when they were massaging you, riding you, feeling every square inch of you. How could you let this happen? And that’s when you tell yourself you’ll just cut back a little bit on your dates, hit up the gym a little more, take the stairs at work, etc.

Oh the lies we tell ourselves.

By now, you and your partner are seeing each other on a pretty regular basis. You’ll have your weekly date nights and probably will be over at each other’s places pretty frequently too. They’ll ask what sounds good for dinner and you’ll say that you’re not that hungry. Don’t do that. Don’t say that you’re not that hungry because not that hungry is code for I think I’m getting fat and hope you haven’t noticed. Immediate red flags for them. They’ll ask what’s wrong and what’s the matter. And you’ll say it’s nothing. More red flags for them. They’ll tell you to trust them and tell them what’s going on.

You’ll say you’ve noticed that your clothes have gotten a bit tighter lately and that you’ve put on a few pounds, and you don’t want to get fat and let yourself go because then they won’t be interested anymore and leave you for some skinnier and prettier. And then they’ll look in the eyes and tell you you’re absolutely beautiful. They think you’re kind and you’re funny and that they’ve never met any as special as you. And then they’ll tell you that they think you’re gorgeous and would love you no matter what you weighed. You’ll ask really? And they’ll say yes. And then the two of you will hug and kiss and embrace and you’ll never want to let you because you know that this person is special.

Then they’ll ask you what really sounds good for dinner, and you’ll laugh and say that Chinese does sound pretty good and then the two of you will happily get up and leave to go gorge yourselves on some Kung Pao chicken.

That’s how they get you.

After that, it’s all over. You stop really dieting, at least in earnest. You stop worrying about how many calories or how many carbs you’re ingesting when you’re out to lunch with your gal pals or making dinner over at your partner’s place. Your regular gym visits are being replaced with weekly sleepovers at each other’s places. And slowly but surely the workout routines and jogs you used to go on are now being replaced with an occasional walk around the block with your significant other.

That’s when the pounds really start to pile on. Hello double chin! Hello muffin top! Hello love handles! Where do you tend to gain weight? Not that you’ve ever had to think about that before. But sooner or later, you’ll be very acquainted with where you’re piling on the pounds. Maybe you’ll get lucky and have a nice pear shape. Say goodbye to that pert, heart-shaped butt of yours. Get ready to see a wide, flabby, cellulite-ridden behind every time your turn around. Just be careful not to knock anything off the counter. Those shapely thighs you spent so much time working on during leg day at the gym will be things of the past. That thigh gap of yours will soon be inching closer by the meal until someday two, meaty, fleshy thighs meet. Good luck fitting those trendy clubbing outfits over your fuller lower half.

Maybe you won’t be so lucky and have more of an apple shape. Imagine those abs of yours slowly expanding with fat into a big, round, doughy belly. It’ll jiggle with every step you take and reveal itself underneath your increasingly too small wardrobe. Imagine a pair of nice, thick love handles on either side. As much as you’ll hate the sight of them in the mirror, it does feel pretty damn good having your partner grab them in the heat of the moment.

And don’t think your breasts are missing out on any of the fun! Your boobs are now pouring out of all your bras, not to mention they dig into your back fat like a son of bitch (also you’ll have back fat now). Though, they will have a nice jiggle when you walk, and your partner certainly isn’t going to complain about your chest getting bigger.

Eventually you’ll introduce your partner to your family who’ll love everything about them because why wouldn’t they? They’ll take you aside and tell you how great they are and how they’re so happy for you. Then they’ll ask ‘is everything else is okay’ and that ‘you look a little different’ than the last time they saw you. And you’ll sigh and shrug and say ‘yeah, everything’s okay’ and that you’ve ‘just gotten a bit comfortable when it comes to dieting and whatnot’. And they’ll tell you ‘okay’ and wish you all the best.

When Thanksgiving rolls around, you’ll be rolling around too. At least, that’s how you’ll feel. You lie to yourself and tell yourself that you’re going to really rein it in. But then you’ll smell all the delicious aromas of the kitchen. All that willpower will fade away into the ether and before you know it, you’re already onto your second helping of dessert. Those pants you squeezed your fat ass into early that day are begging to be unbuttoned. Your partner will have to help you peel off those skintight clothes. In your overstuffed stupor, you’ll promise something to yourself about Christmas being better.

That’ll promise will last all the way up to December 1st. The whole month will be a blur of Christmas parties and cozy nights in snacking on the couch. Those desserts will be quite fattening, I assure you. Those cookies you’ll munch on all of Advent will slowly find their way to those “problem areas.” Any remaining remnants of your previous wardrobe will be retired. You’re hoping you’re getting clothes this Christmas, hopefully ones that fit your softening, expanding figure. By the time you’re opening presents with your partner, you’ll be a certified chubby girl. A far cry from the skinny little thing I’m talking to right now.

And what’s worse is that you’ll get comfortable with just how big you’re getting, too. Sometimes you’ll look in the mirror and think to yourself that maybe you should cut back a little bit and hit the gym again. And then your significant will walk in with take out they got on their way home and forget about that notion. You’ll maybe catch yourself feeling softer than what you thought you were and ask your partner if they think you’re getting too big. And they’ll tell you ‘of course not’ and that ‘you look really good’ and maybe even better with the added weight. And you’ll be content. And hungry. Very hungry.

And then, by the time your true love decides to pop the question, you’ll be unrecognizable. You’ll be a fat ass bride-to-be, just like me. Plus size dress shopping is going to be fun, isn’t it? Soon your friends and family will forget that you weren’t always a total butterball. They won’t remember that you used to have a jawline, that your double chin wasn’t always there under your bloated face. They won’t remember that you used to have a flat tummy instead of the jiggling gut that’ll spill onto your lap. They’ll forget all about your shapely, toned legs when they see your giant, jiggling ass as you waddle in the door. Or at least, they’ll look at you and think ‘how could she let herself go like that’ and ‘God she looks terrible’ and then you’ll have preferred they had forgotten that you didn’t used to be like this.

I can see you rolling your eyes at me. You’re telling yourself that you’re not going to end up like me and that I’m just projecting my own insecurities onto you. You think that you won’t end up like me and that your partner would say something if you started putting on weight. That may be true, who knows. But don’t say I didn’t warn you. Anyway, it’s getting almost dinner time and Fiancé promised they were cooking Italian and this fat bitch is going to stuff herself. But before I go there’s one question I want to ask before I go.

Were those pants always that tight on you?