Chapter 1
Matt sat alone at the bar. He had left work early that afternoon hoping to wash away what was troubling him before he got too ** and had to go home. It was early enough in the afternoon that the bar was nearly empty save for himself, the bartender, and a few other patrons. One more drink and then probably needed to head home. He took a sip from his pint glass. Once he was done with this beer he figured he ought to be heading home. Before he was about to stand up a voice caught his attention.“This seat taken?”
He hadn’t noticed the man sitting next to him. Matt had thought he was sitting alone but perhaps he was a little bit drunker than he had told himself. Whatever, he still felt sober enough to drive.
“All yours,” Matt replied.
The man looked to be in his 30’s. He was handsome and professional and dressed in a button shirt and dress pants. “What’s eating you?” he asked while taking a sip of his beverage.
Matt sighed. “It’s dumb. I ought to be getting home anyway.”
“Well maybe it wouldn’t sound so dumb if you talked about. I want to help you,” the mysterious man offered.
“Fair enough,” Matt said as he turned to face the gentleman. “It’s about my wife.”
The man nodded his head as though he understood fully. “Ah. Marital problems.”
Matt grimaced. “Sorta.”
“She kick you out of the house? Take the kids? Screwing some other guy?”
“What? God no! She’d never do anything like that,” Matt said, horrified at the implication of Lindsey ever doing anything of the sort.
The man raised an eyebrow. “So what’s the problem?” he asked inquisitively.
“I mean. It’s kind of hard to describe,” Matt groaned. He couldn’t believe his was about to air his dirty laundry to a stranger in a bar.
“I’m all ears.”
“I guess the problem with my wife is that she’s too…perfect,” Matt explained delicately. God, he was coming across like a total asshole.
“Perfect?” the man asked. His tone was very skeptical.
“Yeah. Or like, too goody two shoes, you know?”
The man was looking at Matt like he was the biggest idiot in the world. He felt as though he was being humiliated by one of his teachers in school. “Your biggest problem with your wife is that she’s too good?
“I mean, if you want to be reductive, sure,” Matt responded, deflated. He knew he wasting his time explaining his troubles to this perfect stranger.
“Well what do you mean?” the man asked pointedly. Matt could sense his patience was growing thin.
“I mean, like, I feel like a piece of shit compared to her, you know? She works full-time and yet she has the energy to take care of things around the house and take care of the kids too. And I feel like a big failure compared to her.” Even Matt thought he sounded pathetic.
“Okay.”
“Plus she still looks as good as the day we got married even 5 years and 2 pregnancies later. And I’ve put on a good amount of weight since then. Here, let me show you picture of Lindsey.” Matt got out his phone and showed the stranger Matt and Lindsey’s most recent Christmas photo. Lindsey was an absolute stunner. With dirty blonde hair and a smile to die for, she was just as radiant as ever holding their youngest child, Asher. She was a short, petite girl, measuring in at 5’2” and barely an ounce over 105 pounds. The 6’ Matt dwarfed her in the photo as their eldest daughter Kalin stood between them. “It’s just not fair, you know?” Matt gestured to his growing gut. Matt had managed to put on nearly 50 pounds and now clocked in at a meaty 230 pounds since he’d gotten married. He was starting to the get the weight lecture at his doctor visits.
“So you’re complaining your wife takes care of things too much and hasn’t let herself go enough?” the man asked, the disdain in his voice was palpable.
“Okay it sounds a little ridiculous when you say it. I guess she is just too good,” Matt admitted.
“Too good for you is what it sounds like,” the stranger replied taking another sip of his drink.
“Hey, I resent that,” Matt protested.
The stranger was clearly not amused. “Good god, you’re a piece of work,” he said shaking his head in disgust.
“You said you wanted to help me,” Matt replied.
“Oh, I’m going to help you alright. Don’t worry. I’m going to take care of that.”
“What are you going to do?” Matt asked. He was starting to growing a little concern at what exactly this gentleman had in mind.
“You let me worry about that,” the man said. With that he downed the rest of his drink and laid out a few dollar bills on the counter. “You stay here and finish your drink and then head home to your wife and kids. Maybe you’ll begin to appreciate the life you live by the time you wake up tomorrow morning.” With that, the gentlemen got up in a huff and left. Matt thought he heard the man muttering under his breath.
“What an asshole,” Matt said to himself. “He’s the one who wanted to hear about my problems. What the hell does he know.” He took one last glug of his beer and decided that it was probably time to head home. The rest of the evening was relatively uneventful. Lindsey had dinner ready by the time he got back, none he wiser about how Matt had spent his afternoon. By the time Matt’s head hit his pillow around midnight that night, he was already asleep. He had the best night of sleep he had had in a long time.
Magical Realism
Slob/Toilet/Farting
Addictive
Dominant
Indulgent
Lazy
Spoilt
Female
Straight
Weight gain
Wife/Husband/Girlfriend
5 chapters, created 1 year
, updated 1 year
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