chapter 1

Amy Miller raised her head from her pillow and squinted at the London skyline outside her Camden flat. As the inconsiderate early afternoon sun shone its light in her bleary eyes she could feel the first signs of a hangover throbbing in her head.

She rolled over with a groan and saw a girl still sleeping soundly on the other side of the bed. One of the models from the party last night. Sophia? Or was it Sienna? Eugh, she couldn't remember. But that was an awkward conversation she would face once she had some caffeine in her.

Pulling on the first t-shirt she found crumpled on the floor over her small breasts and gym toned stomach and grabbing some underwear from the drawer, she picked up her phone from where it had been carelessly discarded the night before. There were dozens of notifications that she'd been tagged in pictures from the party and texts congratulating her on the success of the launch. The previous night had been the launch of her fashion house's spring/summer collection and the first that her boss, the eponymous designer Vincent Black, had allowed her to take the lead in designing and curating. The details were still coming into focus in her fuzzy brain but she could tell from the trail of discarded clothes, cigarette butts and empty champagne bottles that littered her bedroom floor that the party that followed been a messy one.

She was about to click her phone off when she noticed that amongst all the other notifications there were well over 20 missed calls and several voicemails from her mother. Amy dialled 121, preparing to cringe at the gushing of motherly pride but instead what she heard chilled her.
"Hi sweetie, it's mom. I don't want to spoil your big day but I need you to call me back straight away."
"Please Amy, I know you're always so busy but I need to speak to you."
"Amy, it's your mother again. Call me back. Please."

She picked her way through her flat strewn with the previous night's debris. She flicked on her espresso machine, downed the shot of bitter black coffee in one mouthful and, with a slight tremor in her hand, dialled home.

"Hello, Miller residence," her mom answered the phone.
"Hi mom, it's Amy."
"Amy! I was calling you all night. Where were you?"
"Mom, you know yesterday was the launch of the new collection. I'm sorry if I was too busy to call you but it was a pretty big deal for me."
"You're always busy."
Silence.
Her mother's tone softened. "Look, I know yesterday was important to you and I'm so proud of you and everything you've accomplished but I have something to tell you and it really can't wait."
"You're scaring me, mom."
"I'm sick, Amy. Dr. Eliot found something during a routine check up and the treatment doesn't seem to be working. He says we're going to have to look at more aggressive options. I'm going to be pretty weak during the treatment and I need someone with me who can help me get to my appointments and take care of me at home."

Amy's head was reeling. She didn't know what to think or how to feel. Anger. Yeah, let's go with anger.

"Mom! How long has this been going on for?!"
"Well, I suppose the initial diagnosis was in February..."
"February?! How could you keep this from me for so long?"
"Well, honey, you haven't exactly been very good at checking in since you moved to London, especially not since you landed this new job. I think I've spoken more to your secretary in the past 2 years than I have to you."
"Now you're just exaggerating..."
"Violetta, the Polish girl. She takes life drawing classes to unwind, sends most of her paycheque home to her family and says the thing she hates most about living in London is not having a garden."
"So you may have spoken to her A FEW times. I don't have a lot of free time."
"You didn't come home for Christmas last year or even when Jacob was born."
"Mom, I was WORKING."
Her mother sighed. "Amy, I wouldn't ask if I didn't need you. It will only be for a few months"
"What about Daniel? He only lives in Milwaukee. It's not like he's on an entirely different continent."

She knew she was being a brat but she couldn't help it.

"You know that Alice has only just had the baby. I can't ask your brother to uproot his family."

But it was OK for her to uproot her entire existence.

"OK."
"OK?"
"I need to speak to Mr Black and then I'll start looking at flights."
"Thank you, sweetie. It means a lot."
"I'll call you tomorrow. I love you."
"I know. I love you too."


"So last night was pretty wild..."

Amy turned to see Sienna/Sophia. The as yet unidentified model stood leaning against the doorway. She had showered, her rail thin body wrapped in a towel, her wet hair hanging in damp waves over her sharp shoulder blades.

"Wow, Amy, you look like shit. Are you OK...?" Sienna/Sophia said at the sight of her ashen face.

"Yeah..." Amy said softly and shook her head. "Yeah. I just had some news from home, that's all."

"Nothing bad I hope," Sienna/Sophia said, her brow creasing with concern. "Hey, let me get you some breakfast, it'll make you feel better."

The model opened Amy's fridge. "Damn, girl, there's like nothing in here. How do you even live?"

Amy laughed lightly. Dammit, why couldn't she remember this girl's name?

"That's not true, there's a couple of cans of Diet Coke and I'm pretty sure that's a tub of expired yoghurt at the back."

Sienna/Sophia giggled. "All the major food groups covered then: zero calorie, chemical filled soft drinks and mouldy dairy products. And all this time I thought it was models who were famous for not eating. Turns out the designers are pretty bad too."

Amy sighed. "I need a cigarette."