chapter 1

"Its southern cooking that'll put the weight on. The way my mama taught me to cook, if I used her recipes every night, my Dave would be as big as a house." Betsy was from Georgia, and she was more than sure about her cooking. It was a Saturday night, with three couples relaxing after a great dinner. They were Betsy and Dave, along with Maria and Tony, gathered at Carla and Ted's home for dinner and drinks. Carla had made a traditional Italian dinner of lasagna, garlic bread, an Italian salad, and cannoli for dessert. They were all comfortably full, and sitting on the patio enjoying the night air and a bottle of Chianti. The conversation had somehow drifted into cooking, and what cooking was the most fattening.

All six of them were in their twenties, and enjoying life in Dallas, although none of them started out there. Selma and Dave were from Georgia, Maria and Tony were from Arizona, and Carla and Ted were from New Jersey. After college, each couple had moved to Dallas to take new jobs, and bought houses in the same neighborhood. They had hit it off, and spent a lot of time socializing with each other. Betsy was a blue-eyed blonde, fairly tall, with a southern drawl and southern charm. Maria was shorter and dark, with intense Mexican eyes that had captivated her husband, and kept the attention of whoever she addressed. Carla was very Italian, medium height, with olive eyes and olive skin. Physically, they all had curves, and they all knew how to use them.

"Well Betsy, southern cooking is all well and good, but nothing will fatten a husband up like Mexican food. You should see my father! I have pictures of him when he and my mother first got married. So skinny! It didn't take long for mi madre to make him a grande man. If I were to feed Tony like my madre fed my padre, he would be as big around as he is tall!"

Carla wasn't going to let this go by. "Girls, everyone knows that Italians are the best cooks. My mother's recipes made my father a fat and happy man, and if I was to cook like her every night, Ted would have a belly like a beach ball."

The men were relaxing and enjoying the banter. It was all in fun, of course. While none of them were hard bodies, they were all fairly trim. The days when it was a wife's duty to feed her husband well were a part of history, as far as they were all concerned. For all three couples, both husband and wife worked, and shared in all the household chores, including cooking. Each husband was a predicable physical match for their wives. Dave was about six feet tall, with light brown wavy hair. Tony was shorter, about five foot eight, with black hair kept short. Ted was in between the other two men, about five foot ten, and had dark brown hair worn a little long.

"Oh Carla, you've never seen a southern gal on a cooking spree. Gravies, grits, pies, why if I put my mind to it, I could put a belly on my Dave before you could say Jack Robinson."

Maria chimed in. "You think you're cooking would be more fattening than enchiladas, chalupas, refried beans and flan? If I wanted to, I could fatten Tony up while you were still baking the first apple pie."

Carla wasn't going to let this go unchallenged. "If you girls think you can cook for your husbands better than I can cook for Ted, you just don't know who you're dealing with. I could make him bust out of his pants in a New York minute!"

Maria's Latin heritage kicked in. "If that is a challenge, Carla, I take it. I will put my cooking up against yours any time."

Carla was always up for a challenge. "Really Maria? Are you ready to put your cooking where your mouth is?"

"Anytime, Carla. Any challenge you want to make."

"I'll tell you what, Maria. I'll bet that in a month, I can put more weight on my Ted than you can put on Tony. Without breaking a sweat."

"I'll take that bet, Carla," replied Maria. "I will put more weight on Tony than Ted, and you can count on it."

The husbands started to take notice. This was going to beyond playful banter. This was getting serious.

"I want in on this," said Betsy. "My southern cooking will fatten up Dave like he was a prize hog. You Yankee girls just don't know how to feed a man, but I do, for sure."

"Then let's see who's cooking can really fatten up a man," said Carla. "Let's have a contest. We'll each cook the way our mama's taught us to, and see whose man gains the most weight."

Dave finally decided it was time to rein them in. "Now hold on, ladies. Banter is supposed to be fun, but this has gotten out of hand. No one asked us if we want to be fattened up."

"Oh, hush up, Dave," replied Betsy. "We'll do this for one month. One month of feeding you boys like our mamas fed our daddies. One month is all I need to show everyone who knows how to cook."

"That's right, you boys don't need to worry," added Maria. "You'll get a month of old fashioned cooking and when it's over you can go back to your diets and workouts and lose whatever weight you've gained."

Carla turned to Ted. "You know how I can cook when I have a mind to, right Ted? And you are going to support your wife in this, aren't you?"

The men turned toward each other. Ted said, "Well guys, I guess we can stand to let our wives go all out feeding us, right? We may gain a few pounds, but that'll be easy enough to lose when it's over, right?"

Dave agreed. "Why not? Sounds like a fun month."

Tony joined in. "Oh yes, it will be fun. Especially in a month when we see that my Maria is the champion cook."

Ted laughed. "The winner will be judged by the pound, Tony. We'll see who has the most new pounds!"

Carla took the cue. "Time to weigh our husbands. In one month, we'll see who has gained the most. And I'll tell you right now, it's going to be Ted." That got a snort from Betsy and Maria.

Ted got their scale from the bathroom and set it out. Betsy spoke up. "We're going to make this fair. Take off your shoes and shirts, we don't want anybody carrying anything heavy when we weigh them next month."

"Let's do it right then," added Maria. "Down to their shorts! Let's see those tighty whities!"

"Hell, why not, give the girls a show!" grinned Tony as he stripped down to his underwear.
Each man took off everything but his shorts and got on the scale. Dave got on the scale first, and the digital readout showed 182, no surprise since he was the tallest. Tony got on, and weighed in at 170. Ted, being the in between of the others, was 175.

"In thirty days, we meet here. Same place, same scale. And we'll see who's cooking can fatten up their man," said Carla.

"Oh yes we will," replied Maria. "Oh yes we will."