Chapter 1 - miles is moving out

It was this time of the year again. After finishing university, Robert's old flatmate Miles moved out for a new job in a different town. They had a great time together, shared not just the flat but also many hobbies. But life had different plans for them, and Robert was looking for a new flatmate. He didn't fancy making a long list of criteria for selecting the right flatmate. His previous experience taught him that it's really hard to predict who would make a good flatmate based on a list of features alone, it's more important whether the chemistry is right, and the rest is luck. Even if the chemistry is great, you might later on realise that you actually don't get on, or have different standards of cleanliness, the other one is not respecting boundaries, or just hides in their room all day. But this isn't what Robert wanted, he was looking for someone more sociable, who wouldn't just happen to live under the same roof, but who would be up for a chat after work or hanging out in the park on a sunny day.

Hence he was lucky to have had Miles as a flatmate, even though they seemed opposites at first. Miles was sporty, and played football in his free time. He was quite skinny and spotted a near-bold head. He was quiet and observant at first, and would only speak when he had something important to say. He couldn't cook, so if it wasn't for Robert he'd be eating ready made meals every day. Robert on the other hand was an excellent cook, the only thing he couldn't do was making small portions. He couldn't throw anything away, hence he acquired a considerably-sized belly that started to push out the fabric of his shirts. Since he started university, he had acquired more than the freshmen 15. From an already slightly chubby 80kg he had gone up to a chunky 102 kilo. He wasn't much into sports, other than cycling. Yet despite their differences, they got on surprisingly well.

But now it was time to move on and Robert was casting a new flatmate. But it seemed like it was an impossible task: Most of the people that applied seemed to come straight off a freak show, the other half resembled the undead, barely uttering a word during the meeting. It wasn't just that they were weird - that's probably ok. It was rather that they were downright rude or just socially inept. One guy was a total fitness freak. He talked about his work outs only and despised fat people in general. What he didn't seem to realise was that it was Robert he would be moving in with, and not Miles. Then there was a girl who had a similar issue. At first she seemed nice. She seemed to be into alternative culture and social justice. Yet when she came around to view the flat she only talked about dieting and nutrition. When she was offered some cake, she refused, saying she was "too fat", even though she was skinny as a twig. Now, that in itself was fine, but when she started telling her potential flatmates about how the flour in the cake would be killing them, and how Robert would be able to shed all his extra weight with this one simple trick - some weird herb from the Amazonas, she was quickly put into the metaphorical loony bin, with all the others. But things were getting desperate, since Miles' departure approached and no new flatmate had been found.