Chapter 1 - Leaving austria

An audience with my mother, the Empress of Austria, was a thing of terror, and I waited, shaking in my nightgown and barefeet.

Tomorrow I leave Austria behind forever, but I hadn't anticipated being called from my bed by Maman in the middle of the night.

I entered her bed chamber to find Maman pacing like a caged animal, and she seems determined to make me crazy by waiting to speak.

"Everything depends on you, Antonia. Everything." It wasn't the first time she said it. And it wasn't the first time she'd made it clear I had disappointed her in so many ways.

Years of teeth straightening, dancing lessons, French lessons, and other physical and mental tortures had prepared me to become the Dauphine of France, but I still didn't feel ready. Not in my mother's presence.

"Remember you must always please the King first. Always. Take no advice that contradicts him. But spend time with his daughters, the maiden princesses, they will know what's morally fit." She continued to pace as she talked.

The maiden princesses were far north of 30 and unmarried. What did they know of men? Wasn't it truly the Dauphin, my husband, and the future King I had to please? But I knew better than to interrupt her when she was in this state.

"France is not like Austria, Antonia", she finally spat out. "They are...indolent. I hear the King has ceased all his official duties...and half the court does nothing but eat."

She looked as if she'd already said too much.

"Please him Antonia, but guard your immortal soul. The French are..."

"Le scandale", I provided.

"Ja", she confirmed. "Remember to go to mass twice a day. We're all counting on this alliance."

"Ja, Maman", I confirmed combining my two languages.

She smiled. It was one of three smiles I ever remember seeing.

"We're counting on you, Antonia, all the hopes of Austria go with you."

Days Later.

A new queen could never bring anything with her from a foreign court, so the moment I crossed Austrian soil onto French, everything was taken from me - every stitch of clothes I wore, my beloved dog Mops, even my Bible, had to be surrendered at the border. My friends and my tutor turned back. I now had a new "friend" - the Comtesse de Noailles, whose sole duty it seemed to me, was to gossip with me, and tell me everything I did was wrong.

Now five hours of driving later, and we'd finally arrived. I told myself not to be nervous. Had I not endured so many improvements to become likeable to the King and the Dauphin? Was I not told I was beautiful and charming?

I stepped out of the carriage.

"Madame la Dauphine!"

I looked up at a man taller than average, I guessed somewhere between 50 and 60.

"Grandpere!", I said, embracing the King. This Louis at least seemed pleased to see me.

"Beautiful!" he exclaimed, "beautiful!" I tried to ignore that my royal grandfather spent the next few moments staring at my breasts.

"Come on, come on", he waved his arms impatiently.

I had presumed the young man standing next to him was a servant. He was a bit taller still than the King, but dressed very simply, and he stared at the ground as a servant would around his betters.

"Louis, come meet your beautiful bride", the King beckoned again.

The servant was no servant, he was the Dauphin! I'm afraid my mouth may have fallen open. I snapped it shut.

"I am so pleased to meet you at last!" I said. I initiated a hug. He briefly touched my shoulder and then stepped back as if he'd touched horse dung.

Louis XVI was tall, but already running to fat despite not being much older than I.

"Welcome, madame", he said gravely.

The King shook his head in frustration but said nothing.

In that moment, all my hopes for a happy marriage crumbled.

"Was it not said she is beautiful and amiable?" the King asked, but the Dauphin merely nodded his head to acknowledge he'd heard his grandfather.

But I had no more time to solve this riddle right now, and no time to wonder why my new husband obviously didn't like me.

I was swept into a party of people, some of whom I was assured had stood there waiting to meet me for hours.

The fashions hadn't been worn in Austria for many years. The dress was far fancier than any I'd seen for ages. The skirts were huge, held out by a pannier, at least 3 feet from the body. The women's hair was piled very hair on their heads, and the older courtiers wore white lead foundation and bright rouge circles on their cheeks. They were a little terrifying. And Maman had been right, dressing like this on a daily basis would be annoying and wasteful.

A couple of little girls with powdered hair handed me bouquets of flowers.

"Danke...Merci...", I corrected myself.

I turned to the Dauphin to find him gone. The King wasn't around anymore either, instead I was surrounded by women, tittering in my ear.

I wouldn't see him again until our wedding the next morning.