chapter 1

I can't say that this was how I had ever expected life to work out, but I do know I wouldn't trade away a moment of it for anything. I'm fairly certain I'll never be able to adequately describe how grateful I am for the many twists and turns that led me here.

I was 29 and just beginning my professorship at a small liberal arts college in the Northeast, teaching mostly 20th century literature and a course on the short story genre. It was at one of those little faculty get-togethers that I first met Thomas.

"Lily?" he asked, after we had been introduced. "That's an appropriately beautiful name."

I'm not going to lie, I swooned a little. I'm not short at 5'7" but he was a good six inches taller than me with a strong and athletic build. His piercing blue eyes were both striking and warmly lit with a laughter that seemed to always lurk just beneath the surface. It turned out he was 32 and had been teaching history for about four years.

Within weeks we were dating, he was gentle and humble and intelligent and funny and I was hopelessly in love. Not that he didn't have his faults, we both certainly did, but each little hiccup seemed to only strengthen our relationship in the end.

After the school year ended in May he proposed to me and I could hardly wait until he had finished asking before I said yes. We set the date for the following May and I spent just about the whole summer working on the planning. Before the next school year started I moved in with him, partly because we simply couldn't bear to be apart from each other any more than necessary.

Thomas lived simply, almost spartanly, but we both found areas in which we could compromise and there were surprisingly few issues as we began our cohabitation. I did learn early on that he wasn't accustomed to eating regular meals, often eating a bowl of cereal or some fruit and granola for dinner while grading papers or preparing lectures.

I, while absolutely a strong and independent 21st century woman, very much enjoyed spending time in the kitchen as well. Soon dinners were a regular occurrence at home, although sometimes served rather late in the evening depending on office hours. It warmed my heart to see him dig in eagerly at supper, making appreciative noises as he heaped praise on my cooking talents.

I don't think it really occurred to either of us that there would be consequences to this change of diet, but as we approached the day of our wedding I observed that the waistbands of his pants seemed to be digging in slightly around his midsection. Between teaching and planning the wedding and being in love, I really didn't pay much mind to it.

A month before our wedding Thomas went to try on the tux. I of course joined him in the fitting room as I was eager to see him all dressed up.

"Damn it, I was afraid of this," he muttered as he pulled up the pants.

"What's the matter?" I asked, still rather oblivious.

"I've, ah, been putting on weight," he admitted. "It seems that your cooking has been so delicious that I've put on about, oh, 10 pounds."

"Oh," I said, finding myself staring at his stomach.

For some reason I was feeling a little flushed and warm and my mouth had gone rather dry.

"I'm so sorry Lily," he apologized. "I'll work in some extra gym visits and drop it by the wedding, I promise."

"No," I said, surprising both of us. "Um, I mean, it's, ah, it's fine. Really. We'll just have them let out the waist slightly. I mean, I don't want you underfed. What would people think, right?"

Then I tittered. I mean, I seriously tittered. It may have been the most disturbing sound I ever made. I even clapped a hand over my mouth to make it stop.

"Are you alright?" Thomas asked.

"Yup, um, just fine. So, anyway, I'll just tell them to let the waist out by an inch or two."

I walked out feeling light-headed, butterflies fluttering in my stomach as I remembered exactly how his tiny little pooch hung over the overly snug waistband of the pants. I told the tailor to have the waist take out two inches and managed to comport myself normally for the rest of the day.